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I Love Me Better Than That!

Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink, or use drugs when stressed; I write.


Life can be harsh. It has a way of draining all the positive energy out of you. When you allow obstacles to suck all the positivity out of you, it can wreak havoc on your life. Trials are a part of life, and it happens to everyone. In hard times, it is essential to use difficult times as life lessons to grow and learn. And I am the one that can choose how to handle my circumstances. I can stop neglecting myself, be a woman who refuses to live as a vulnerable adult that places her well-being at risk, indicating, “I love me better than that.”

Everything in life has cycles, from frogs to flowers to people. This series has a beginning and an end. The ultimate circle begins and ends with the period of birth and death. The essence of life is determining the art of living by naturally adjusting to the infinite cycles of beginning and end. And it is difficult learning because there will be days where you feel down and times when you feel on top of the world. But in hard times, when it’s hard to see the way out, it’s essential to understand how to make tomorrow better than today.

When you have had several setbacks, and things are not going your way, appreciate that nothing is permanent. Life will always come with difficulties, and if you want to find true happiness, remember that there is no life without problems. Life is not a rose garden; there will be times where you have little control over things that happen to you. And when you tried everything to fix areas of your life, but nothing is working, it is easy to be critical of some things — and unenthusiastic about the rest.

In challenging situations, maintaining a healthy mindset is the most influential thing anyone can do. In the worst of times, I learn if I avoid irrelevant catastrophe, endure through the hardship, staying positive, and be resilient will turn the situation around.

People frequently forget when you allow your thinking to become overly pessimistic and discouraging; you go through tough times. But if you promote thoughts in your mind that will improve your emotional state, you'll realize what you are facing is just a subjective and distorted perception.


Five key concepts I learn to keep in mind when life gets hard, to stay positive, and to be resilient.

1. You have lots of strengths that you have not used to rise above difficult situations. When everything in your life is hard, it’s common to stop seeing your potencies and see all the losses, making it hard to rise above difficult situations. The key to seeing yourself as a winner is a combination of strengths and weaknesses. When you merge your strengths and weaknesses, it shifts and becomes more balanced to handle the situation effectively.

2. Hard times happens to everybody. Often when you face hardship, the mind can deceive you by imagining only bad things that come only to you and you can’t overcome them. That is not true, just like any other person out there, you can handle challenges to rise above the situation and get past them.

3. Everything ends, good, even bad times. When a situation is good, it common to relax and enjoy, but in the circumstance that is troubling for you, it seems as if it will never end. But in good or bad, it doesn’t last forever. The minds tend to expand hard times as if they will last forever. The worst kinds of situations are a need to do something to make it end or hurry that moment to change.

4. In life experience, you have overcome challenges Before, and you can do it again. When life's trials seem hard, another way to look at the challenging situation is by thinking about similar events you overcome. You endure in life, and you have successfully succeeded to be the person you are today.

5. Life is a Learning Experience. It is a fact that most learning in life comes from trial and failure. In life, it has even been said that in a secluded world that is developing, there is no failure, only feedback. Most of us see failure as a sign that we can’t maintain living life, but it is a learning experience that can put you on the right track.


When I found my life troublesome that something drastic needed to change, I look in the mirror, a broken woman I see. A person that is broken down by the streets of life's journey, determined to gather up all the broken pieces and the little bit of strength that remains to take her life back.

Before taking my life back, and learning how to stay positive and be resilient, I had to identify and leverage my strengths. On a journey to live out my destiny, I discover finding the right path to travel is a challenge, and it is something we all must face. The truth is, as we all face life, everyone will experience varying degrees of success and failure where one might take two steps forward followed by four paces back.

After many failures, you are not sure what your strengths are, and you question how to go about leveraging it. My defeats made me focus on ways to reduce uncertainty and increase the likelihood of succeeding. There are many ways to enhance success and decrease failure. I center my attention on self-awareness and much-needed changes in my behavior and general outlook on life.

After spending several years connecting with toxic peoples, I learned we all get it wrong sometimes, but it easy to unite with someones who take from our experience more than they add to it. More than likely, a lot of us have toxic people in our life. If you deal with someone and they only have bad things to say whenever you see them, this is a virulent person who is just downright toxic.

Toxic people are hazardous to our inner peace, and they’re dangerous to our journey to happiness. The most critical thing about them is they are someone that does more harm than good.


There was a phase in my life that comprises a series of losses. I understand people have the best and worst moments, and a loss is a part of being alive, but when things come crashing down around you, it can feel like a test that will never end.

The outer circumstances of life crashing around me involve losing my nephew. A guy killed him over a girl. He was like a son to me. I was dealing with an injury on the job that was not my fault yet treated as if it was where. For this reason, I lost my job. And because of the loss of income, I lost my home; I found myself forced to live with relatives who didn’t want me around.

And to make matters worst, I was in pain most of the time because of the-job injury, and because of the ache, I suffered from hypertension. After suffering so many losses, I came to the reality that living doesn’t always come easy.

We all want protection from things that hurt us. Only If I am going to make the best of my circumstances, I had to realize life isn’t perfect, and although I lost my good health, my loved one, my home, and my job, I must stay connected to my inner self. Also, I must let go of all hurt and open my heart to all life has to offer to embrace every aspect with admiration.

I was sick and tired of going through the same torture day after day and calling it a life. My life was a mess, and I felt stuck. All that I am feeling the doctor can’t diagnose. The same doctor that takes your temperature, analysis, and makes a diagnosis of illness could not tell me, “Well, you have had enough.

My life was going nowhere, and the question going through my mind, How do you give up your challenges and struggles? It took me to write my thoughts on paper to see who I am and understand that I need a change. We all want things to change but rarely do what it takes to have a chance of taking our life back.

After many losses and years of heartaches itching away at me, I decided I had enough. I took full control of my life to find my way out of the madness by embrace every aspect and, love myself. After taking my life back, the journey, difficult as it was, became stress-free, and that when I realize, “I love me better than that.”

“I Love Me Better Than That” is the name of a single song by Shirley Murdock. It was the first single released in 2007 from her album Soulfood. This song spent seven weeks on the Billboard chart at No. 22. Ms. Murdock’s purpose in singing, “I love me better than that is to campaign for unity. She hoped to inspire positivity in at-risk communities nationwide and reduce violence to unify institutions, mothers, children, fathers, and local government.

Shirley Murdock - I Love Me Better Than That (Official Music Video)

© 2020 Pam Morris

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