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Happiness I Never Wanted

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How happy I was

when you said you like me.

Waves sung so lovely

blowing winds hugged me.


Happy pain-

a hurt I can never escape

that moment sea water become salt

and kissed my wounded skin.


Dreadful smile of pleasure

when it mends in just a minute,

I felt as ease then forgive

the shield I made is not effective.


It was a blissful longing

‘till I found myself crying;

intoxicating pain of admiration

is what pushed me to my grave.


You are the happiness-

that thing I never wanted

for now, that I am alone again,

I felt lost in everything.


MikaTa

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