An Open Letter to Adult Bullies
Belts are commonly used items in physical child abuse
You may not know that you are a bully. You may be the type that inadvertently bullies others and does not realize the hurt that you cause. On the other hand, you may be fully aware of who you are.
If you are bullying a child:
Shame on you! As an adult we are supposed to teach our youth how to be better people than we are. If you are physically bullying your child, you deserve to be in jail. A parent should never put their child through so much hell that they do not want to come home because they fear everything you are going to say or do. A child's first bully should never be someone that they are supposed to trust with their safety, and certainly not a parent.
It does not matter who you are, if the name calling is your thing or the physical bullying, it does not matter. Bullying is not something that should be a part of your life. Instead of making fun of that kid you think is weird, try to get to know them, in my experience, the weirder they are the cooler they tend to be. It does not matter if you are different, or you believe that they are any less important than you are. Bullying causes far more damage than in the here and now. Calling people names over a period of time can do untold damage.
Let's not forget those moments where someone bigger than you will step in and take up for that child that you are tormenting.
I personally have a problem with anyone who is willing to use their size and power to intimidate and tear down a child. Children learn from us, and I will never be my child's first bully. I have stepped in in the past for a child, watching a parent call their child horrible names and tearing them down, calling them dumba$$ and idiot... I wanted to turn away from my normal pacifist behaviors and knock someone out. How can you call a child an idiot for not knowing something that you haven't bothered to teach them? It makes me crazy hearing the way some parents talk to their children. It may be your child but when they are grown the world has to deal with your mistakes in raising your children. They are going to act the way you do and imitate you, and I have a serious problem when I see this.
There are very few things in this world that can make me want to become violent, hurting children is one of those ways. Yes, discipline your children, but do not expect them to automatically know what you have failed to teach them.
Let me explain the difference:
Discipline is where you teach your child the difference between right and wrong, not that it is okay to torture someone smaller than them because it makes you feel better, so it MUST make them feel better.
Abuse is where you relentlessly whip your child until they are bruised and bleeding and your arm is tired, abuse is when you beat your child to make yourself feel better, or you tear them down verbally and emotionally when you've had a bad day. There are several different types of abuse, but the most common I've seen go unchecked is verbal abuse.
YOU are the parent, it is your job to know when you are crossing the line between discipline and abuse. STOP crossing that line! I don't care if it will make you feel better or that you've had a bad day, that is a CHILD, someone who is supposed to be innocent in a harsh world that YOU are supposed to be protecting them from not introducing them to.
Sometimes Bullying Isn't Directed at Children
To those bullies who think that they can push around other adults because they are smaller or less aggressive or assertive than you are, I am talking to you, too.
I get so tired of the constant attitude from people about how they are better than someone because that person makes less money, has a different skin tone, or just sits by the wayside doing their own thing while you are out there succeeding (or not) in life.
You are the one who makes jokes at someone else's expense, talks down to people, or about people because they are different in some way from you. You talk loud so they can hear you putting them down to your friends, or you talk to them as if you're big and bad. Fair warning about those people, they are likely to have been dealing with people like you their whole lives, and at some point they are going to reach a breaking point, and when they do, you might want to gain some distance. You think you're big and bad and nothing can hurt you, but the minute someone stands up to you, you're lost. The power you thought you held was only allowed by that person you've been tormenting until that moment, and when they've had enough, you have no power left.
Nobody is better than anyone, and you aren't going to be as all powerful as you think you are forever, someone WILL take you down a peg or two, and all of those people who you have been showing off for all of this time are going to look at you and laugh just like you spent all of that time laughing at others you perceived as weaker than yourself.
A Postscript From a Mother
Oh, bully, you're probably thinking I am just someone who has no grasp on this subject, that I am an onlooker or someone that has no experience dealing with people like you.
This is what you'll meet if you mess with my kids... this right here
I am very much so the mom that will protect her children from all comers... I do not care if they are bigger than myself or not. So long as my children cannot defend themselves, you will meet me... a pacifist until pushed to being otherwise.
My switch when it comes to my children: Bullies... That lioness has NOTHING on me, EVER, if my children are threatened. A lot of the time, this is any mother who aims to raise her children properly.
You do not want to mess with a mom who believes her child is threatened. She will protect her child from anyone who dares to cross that line with her child.
I personally have two bos (staffs) one made of metal, one made of bamboo. I have never once had occasion to actually use either of them against someone, but you can bet one was brought out as a warning, and do not think for a second I would not have used it if that warning had not been heeded (by an adult).
I am a MOM, that word should strike fear into the heart of any adult bully, and you're very right in thinking that I will use everything in me to protect my child from anyone who dares to threaten them. I have and I will always be there for my children. You can threaten me all day long, do not put your hands on me, and do not even think of threatening my children. They are my world and I will protect my world with the last breath in my body.