Advice to My Younger Self: A Series By an Older, Wiser Inspiring Women
Now, some 33 years later, if I could travel back in time and give advice or have a conversation with my younger self. There are several inspiring things I'd like to say to myself.
I would start by sharing with my younger self, don't stress over the teenage times and all the errors you made, it's when you reach thirty that you reflect more deeply on what's you want for your life. At that age, you were more matured and developed the most crucial life stage… the choices that arguably changed the course of your lives forever.
Accordingly, I would share some insight into the future. Since you spent most of your younger years planning and thinking you would control how your adult life would turn out, the next thing I would tell myself is the universe has a plan for you, but your life will not work out precisely the way you want it to. So, don't spend too much time focusing on the thing you simply can't control; instead, take time just to live life.
Throughout those youthful years of growing and learning, your adolescent years before you developed into the woman who can stand on her own. You spend too much time saying yes to things you want to say no to because you want to please others, stop that and don't be afraid to be bold and take control of your life.
Although life is full of many uncertainties, allow yourself to take risks and accept life as it is, and love yourself for who you are. The most painful lessons and griefs you have been through or the hardship you learn from are what made you great and assist you in becoming the exceptional woman you are today.
Also, I would tell my younger self it’s no surprise many want to be accepted and admired. And they also want to be the media project of how others believe they supposed to look and be. But be your real self as your true self-tense to appear when you are less vulnerable.
Looking back during those early years, some significant actions taken…trials and tribulations and chances went awry, and I remember wanting to control everything, and the whole shebang only moved my life forward faster. Though everything happens as it did if I had just taken the time to slow down, I would have enjoyed living life a bit more.
Although it changes the course of my life forever, I learn a lot and am left with fabulous memories instead of painful regrets. Moreover, I learn the way I see myself is not how the peoples close to me or the world sees me, but all and all life turn out better for me.
Reminiscing back to my younger years, I realize I didn’t know who I was back then, and nothing is precisely what I had initially planned, and my parent was so right...I needed to stay a child until life carries me into adulthood. I need to learn to gain more experience, so I will be able to make good decisions.
Although my childhood was not the best experience for me, my mom helped me to realize the world owes me nothing. My father was a preacher, and he had his expectations of me so much more than what was placed on other children in life, and early in life, my mom taught me being qualified doesn’t entitle me to success. I have to work hard and apply my intelligence to implement anything worthwhile in this world.
Most of us know a family upbringing plays a significant role in giving a right or wrong experience to any child's adolescence. Although I did not experience the best childhood, and I develop low self-esteem, I am grateful I had an intelligent, attentive mother who loved me, I still grew up in a healthy atmosphere.
Despite, a challenging childhood, and the fact that I spend a lot of time inside, when I found myself at a loss of how to entertain myself, my mother took charge and made thing better. And because of her attentive action, I created useful ways not to feel trapped by false limits, and I developed a very creative imagination.
Thanks to my mother, she made me feel as if staying at home is fun and a way to receive the most entertainment when I needed a recharge. Therefore, by the time I reached middle school, I was learning how to interact with other children my age.
Also, I developed high self-esteem, which enables me to socialize with other kids because I had the best mother in the world any child could ever need. She always paid attention to that developing self-esteem and always knew how to make everything better.
My mother was the type of parent who made sure I had an impressive appearance and taught me to be conscientious about my looks as my impression can also reveal things about me.
So, my mother taught me how to fold my dress when I sat down. She taught me to have the proper body language because what your body language says is what people often see first.
Most of all, she shared with me her wisdom. How to deal with the petty and stupidity of others, she taught me to “always love myself.” I understood that it is great to love someone else, but it is even better when you take the time to appreciate yourself.
Fast forward to adulthood; when I was turning twenty-one, I were introduced to a man, and after our first standard conversation - I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him and it was the primary connection between a prospective pair who will get married.
He lived in a neighborhood near my aunt; I moved in with her, and we became friends. Nearing the end of my junior year in college, we fell in love. After a year of marriage, I gave birth to our first child, a daughter.
Listen to advice, but follow your heart. Conway Twitty
My daughter was a precious little girl, and shortly after giving birth to her, my entire life changed. Trying to adjust to a new baby and maintain a marriage that was still somewhat new, as my marriage was hardly a year old, and everything taught me the usual post-baby marriage problems.
After giving birth to my daughter, I gained a unique insight into postnatal recovery and discovered how to keep the romance in my relationship, so it remains firm after having a baby.
Being a first-time mother, I soon realized the date nights would be numbered, my life was no longer mines, and I had the responsibilities of raising my daughter, and I am going to lose sleep.
I took on the responsibility of feeding, changing and dressing her, and whenever I left the house, it would take some getting used to gathering her and all her stuff to load the car and her into the baby carrier.
Also, before I back out the garage, the considerable blowout that happened the second I put the car into reverse was a considerable change. Besides, it took some getting used to all the changing of my shirt because she spits up all over me.
I can remember thinking, I love her so much, and wow this must be how my mother felt raising me, and the love I detect is similar to how much my mom loves me!' But all and all being a mom for the first time was beautiful.
As an adult, I can remember thinking, as a child, you see life as fun and games, rather than as it truly is. Whereas an adult, I have learned that life is really like a boomerang.
You throw your best effort out there, and nobody knows how it will return. Most people hope life will bring them an attractive spouse with money, a big beautiful house, and a nice big car. Sometimes, though, that is not what the boomerang returns. Life doesn’t work that way. Life is what we make of it.
As an adult, you experience and learned many lessons, although some of you spent too much of your younger days dwelling on things you just can't change.
Moreover, as a young adult, some of you waste time on worry and regrets. And maybe some live their life this way because they don't know any better. But when a person develops and matures, you develop the ability to see the enormous benefits but utility both the big and the small of blessing.
Although some allow life lessons to teach them, you all must understand it's called 'life lessons' for a reason, and if you take the time to learn through experience, it won't take hard trials to brings awareness of what's 'life lessons' truly means.
Being with someone who is smart and gives good advice adds tremendously wonderful elements to your life. Patricia Cornwell
The ultimate advice to my younger self, stop being so hard on yourself. Things are not as worst as you think; you are always your own worst critics. And whether you know it or not being too hard on yourself often leads to negative thoughts and falling into a slump and that not where you want to start or end your life.
Furthermore, not only does being your own worst critics leads to negativity, it sometimes makes you begin to compare yourself to others and that not good because you might run the risk of putting yourself down.
Start focusing on the positive and begin by recognizing you are doing better than you can imagine. It seems silly to keep jumping to the conclusion instead take the time to analyze things microscopically.
Moreover, you'll find a lot more right in your life than wrong. All you need to do is take a step back, look at the excellent job you did, and you will see all you already have done, and you'll also know what you stand to accomplish in the very near future.
Younger me know that life will never be what you expect, and in your relationship, you and your husband went through some mighty blows. But with each hit, your ability to face the challenges increased, and you learned to handle the good, the bad, and the messy stuff.
Besides - the different challenges allow you both to grow and love one another more each day. Your patience in the relationship was not as tolerant as your husband, but the way he helps you face your issues made you realize that you both shared something pretty amazing.
I did not know then everything that I know today, but I always knew that someday I want to have children and share my wisdom with them as my mother did with me.
Now that I have a child, I want to be as patient, attentive, and loving to her as my mother was with me. I want to be there for her in times of need, just as my mom was there for me.
I want to let her know that it will be okay when she feels afraid, and teach her always to take one day at a time so that life does not consume her. I want her to understand that excellent choice is what will define her career and life.
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© 2015 Pam Morris