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When Dark Matter Twists You, and It 'Fails'...

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Time for new adventures! Good or bad, who knows? Looks like things are looking different, and I can't escape the feeling, nor do I want to..

And at this point, time REALLY did slow down. Chase froze, and so did EVERYTHING else, or so I thought.


The next second, Chase started moving, just incredibly slowly, like he was in a trance or under a spell of Super-duper slow-motion.

Curious, rather. We are in iminent danger, and now this?

What next? I'm just gonna POOF into the sky?

Okay, let's now check this out, it looks like I'm the only normal one again, time just decided to say: 'Okay! I'm deciding to be extremely strange right now!'

'Okay! Let's just do this now shall we!' I exclaim...

CRRRAAAAACCCCCCKKKK--- This noise sounds strange, constant and long. Not quick and snapping. Hmpf... A Merry Christmas indeed.

A tree starts for move in the near distance to my left.


'CHASE! Hello! Could you possibly tell me what's going on right now?' I call out.


Doesn't answer, or even seem to realise I exist currently.

What?


Let's go left then, normal one. Hup too, check where, and WHAT the noise is yourself. Seeing as though no one else will...



Tell me? What do you get when you mix a shark, a gorilla and crab?

No hell, I dunno either, but there's this thing, right in front of me busy cutting the trees down. Faaaaantastic. And this thing is in super slow motion too, everything is. Actually quite nice, for once. Peaceful and time to think.

Okay, now what can I do? I know! Trap it!

Or wait? How we gonna transport this thing then? Hmm...

Okay, get to that later.

Rope.... Or steel? Or what will trap this thing?

Okay, plan, rope and cage.

Quickly fetch some rope to tie around trees, and them nasty ass legs.

Thank goodness I still have super speed somehow. This time, a bit different...

The next it's like I'm jumping from one spot to another?

How now...? What's this now?

Into the store I snatch up a's much rope I can find, including store room.

I'll pay for these when I come back, I think to myself, all the while thinking of a plan for this creature. How am I gonna trap it?

There's loads of trees, but those pincers, just in case.

Ah! Suspension rope!! Brilliant.

Grab some of that now. Just gotta head to a construction site down the road.

Check outside it's like the damn 4th of July or something! Everything is just sparking out of control! Okay, that's weird... Need to use the other speed somehow...


NOPE! not working... Still jumping. Crap. Well, this dark matter doodie-ma-crap seems to have failed somehow.... ERROR- MALFUNCTION IN THE SYSTEM!




There's the site! Jump around to look for that rope. This time the jump elongates a bit.

SPOT-CHECK! found it! Grab what I can, which is surprisingly a lot! Or so I thought.

Heading back, running through my head too, rope the legs with the steel rope, which would cause it to trip and probably roll out of control. Make a cage to catch it out of the trees that fell. Need to watch out for that roll.

Get back and see this thing is now fighting that sexy man that just kissed me out the blue. And just seeing him, my stomach fluttered...

Whoa! Normal speed back! Yes!

'Don't you DARE touch him sharky-crab, thing!!' I yell.

Yank Chase off of him and took him a bit away from the whole scene.

Grab some trees and start to build the trap. Head back to the fight I put a pause to and distract that thing into the direction of the cage, start roping the legs with the steel rope, change trajectory, PULL! Oh crap, Chase in the way, move you out the way....

Presto! There he goes, rolling into the cage.

And then, time returned to normal. Oh wow! Only now?

Chase, out of breath, looks at me, and then the crab, shark, tree swining gorilla concoction thing (now knocked out and snoring) with shock in his eyes.


'Could you please enlighten me on what the HELL just happened please sexy?' I ask.


Chase rummages in his cargo pockets for something.

A tiny little firearm looking doofie.

Turns to the creature, aims, and shoots.

'The lab crew is on there way to us now for extraction-.'

His words were barely cold when a buzzing van came onto the scene.

'Ey laddie! What the hell just... Holy Kraken-sheizer!' Looking at the unconscious creature.

Layla doesn't seem surprised at all.

The driver doesn't even want to get out at this point.

'Now, just how in the world are we to transport this blasted bugger?' The Irish-sounding man asks.

'Oh, sometimes you are so daft Jeremiah.' Layla says.

'The car is rigged for things like this, no thanks to Chase and me, yet again.' She continues.

Everyone looks to Chase now. He just smiles stupidly and waves. That was cute!

'You guys are welcome' he say's in an even more strange way.. Bwahahaha, can barely contain the cuteness.



Back at the lab, Tobias, the driver, starts throwing drinks. Whiskey. Decent whiskey too, Johnnie Walker Blue label. And he's included me too, that's nice actually.


'Okay, so could anyone tell me what happened please?' I ask.


'Ya lil hasty ass almost got us all-'

'Jeremiah, please, I've got this' Layla interrupts.

'Yes, you have been gifted these amazing abilities when the dark matter twisted your DNA, it's not a curse Mortdecai. It's just a lot to process.'

'Yeah, no shit a lot to process. I exploded half the frigging towns electric boxes, and almost a transformer box! How's that NOT a bad thing?

'Well, that's a bit different than what superspeed is supposed to do. Quite strange indeed. We definitely need to run tests, just to check what's what.'

Draws some blood and runs off to her lab equipment.

The whole room looks to me now, excitement in their eyes.

'Tell us what happened, we heard Chase' side of the story, come on now!' Tobias demands information.


'Hold up, before I get into that, there's a hell of a lot of questions I have myself for you guys too...'