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Twenty Ways I Thought I Died. Part Two. Chapter Eighteen.

I am a delegate of World Sleep Day and a motivational speaker.



I remembered turning thirty and still single, with an ex fiancée that was suicidal. My life has become more complicated than I thought just because I wanted to get married.

David recovered only after I had taken him back. He spent months at home recovering. I was always there everyday to take care of him and I hadn’t gotten over the shock that he almost took his life because I left him. I vowed never to leave him again, but as I tuned thirty one my desperation heightened.

David was recovering, and wedding talks were postponed till this year. But still this year was here and he wasn’t still saying anything about our wedding. It was beginning to affect me psychologically.o

Promise my receptionist was already in her early stage of pregnancy and I was still wearing my engagement ring.

Believe me, it wasn’t funny at all. I remembered trying all methods to make David speak up concerning our wedding. I even went for shopping to buy my kitchen utensils and put them in his kitchen. I told him I was going to buy a new mattress for us, since the one he was using represented bachelorhood. He just smiled and said okay.

To prove my point, I bought the mattress and he thanked me for my nice gesture. I got a center rug for the parlor and bought a bigger fridge so I would be able to stocked up more food for the week after we got married.

I even started cooking different kinds of meals and keeping it in the fridge for him to eat during the week. He was so happy about it and sent me some money to my account to support. David was very sensitive to my financial needs and didn’t care I made my own money. He never asked me for money, buy regularly gave me cash and bought me gifts. Why won’t I think this man loves me? He almost killed himself because of me.

When no marriage talks was coming up, I went to my paternal grandmother for prayers and fasting tips.

We prayed and fasted together. I fasted till I almost had ulcer. Still David wasn’t saying anything.

So one day, I went to Lagos market and got some beautiful materials for I and him. I told him I will be giving it to my tailor who sews unisex clothing’s, to sew a nice to match attire for us.
David had asked why and what was the occasion for? I could not believe he was even asking. Anyways, I told him it was for us to wear when going to see his family. He just nodded and asked if I was ready to meet them. I looked at him in surprise, he could even pin the delay on me? What did he mean by if I was ready to meet them? Why did I break up with him in the first place? He engaged me for two years now with no mention of a wedding or even introduction.

Well I swallowed all that and just told him I was ready to meet them. He smiled and hugged me, then said we should both go the tailor together.

I was the happiest woman on planet earth to hear that. Infact I was so happy that I promised to prepare his favorite dish that night.

By weekend, I went over to his place so we could both drive down to my tailor. I had even called my tailor earlier to inform him I was coming with my fiancée and he should prepare nice catalogs for us.

On getting to David’s place, I knocked but there was no response. Since I now had a spare key due to my frequent visits since his suicide attempt, I used it to let myself in.

Broken heart


When I entered, the parlor was in a mess! There were two plates on the floor with two drinking glasses. Who did he entertain? I wondered.

I just went straight to his bedroom without making a noise and lo and behold I saw him with a woman I knew too well on his bed, Infact on the mattress I just bought with my money! Committing fornication.

Nurse Sarah! I screamed! Jesus Christ save me!

Baby. came David’s useless voice. Baby are you here for the tailor? He asked like he wasn’t doing anything bad.

Are you mad? I asked him. What are you doing? My God! So you and Sarah have been having sex? No wonder you never asked me for sex again! And yes no wonder I never caught you with any woman. That’s because you have been doing it in the hospital.

Baby please let’s go talk in the parlor. He pleaded.

Who is your baby? Who is your baby? I asked crying.

That very day, David killed me deep inside. This man was such a devil, a deceiver a d a treacherous man.

So because you are not allowed to work much hours in the office again due to your health, you now brought your madness home because you could not control yourself? I spat at him.

Baby its your fault! I asked you to give it to me but you didn’t.

Its my fault? Is it my fault you didn’t marry me for two whole years that I would have been giving it to you in marriage? So what I heard about you from Edirin is true? So you sleep around form one nurse and doctor to the other? Oh my God what did I get myself into?

With rage I headed for the kitchen. I grabbed the grounded pepper I had put in a plastic on the shelve, emptied the content in a bowl of water and headed back to David’s room.

When I got there, the useless Sarah was still on the bed waiting for the next round I guess. I walked to over to her, and poured the bowl of pepper water right to her face and entire body. Then I dragged her out and locked her outside. I went back to meet David in the room who was now on his kneels.

So you blame me for your mess right? I asked him.

Ufoma I am sorry.

Do you think I don’t feel like having sex? Do you think I am a wood? No I am not. I love you so much David and that’s why I yearned for us to get married so I can feel you, so you can feel me, and know what it means to be your wife in the truest sense. From the very first day I saw you David, I fell for you. I love you so much that I hated myself when I first turned down your proposal. I was in doubts, and now I know why. So this is the real you? David if you don’t love me why did you deceive me this far? You should have just let me go a long time ago! Why did you threaten to kill yourself for me when you don’t love me?

Ufoma I am so sorry to have dragged you into this mess. I have a lot of respect for you but its obvious you deserve a much better man than myself. In fact I thought that having a Godly woman like you as my wife, would change me for the better, but I just got worse.

Then why did you use suicide to make me stay with you! I shouted in tears.

Ufoma there is something I must let out of my chest. I didn’t commit suicide for you. He paused and continued. It was for Sarah. When you came into my office then with your engagement ring still on, she came in later and threatened to leave me because I had not yet broken up with you. And I love her so much because of our chemistry. She is so good in bed and we connect. I told her that you just came in to break up with me, but she didn’t care. She said she would leave me too, so I told her I will kill myself if she did, so that’s what I did. I and Sarah have been seeing each other before you came into the picture but I chose you because I wanted to be a better man. Its obvious I can’t. As to why she called you to inform you of my suicidal attack, I guess she thought its you I love and if I see you I would get better.

I could not even say a word after he was done vomiting his rubbish. I just went to the parlor, picked up my bag and went for my car. I didn’t see any sight of Sarah outside, I just got into my car and drove off.

On my way driving, my phone rang and the caller was the tailor I and David had promised to go see. I just threw the phone to the back seat and headed for Ini's place.

I needed a good friend to cry to. I was in rage, shame, disappointment and shock. I just couldn’t believe what just happened to me, David had destroyed me forever. I didn’t feel I could ever over this shock, believe me it was killing.

Ini was such a listening ear, as she didn’t say a word but let me air all my feelings and frustrations while she wiped off my tears as I talked.

After spending two hours there, I remember telling her I was safe to drive now, and would be spending the night at aunty Ejiro’s place. She kissed me goodbye and made me promise to call when I got there.

As I drove to my aunt’s place, I didn’t know what made me turn my direction for David’s apartment, and after some minutes I found myself knocking at his door.

Yes who is it? Came his calm voice.

Its I Ufoma. I replied calmly.

He quickly opened go let me in. He looked so sad that I began to pity him.

I still love you. I told him. I could not imagine I still did. David had broken all my defenses and I was lost to him.

Ufoma, you deserve someone better than me. He pleaded.

Is it sex? Let’s have it now. I am ready to disobey God and give myself to you. Please don’t leave me, marry me. I pleaded.

Ufoma, a wise beautiful lady once told me, when you love someone more than God’s commandments, then that isn’t love, its uncontrolled passion.

I remember telling you that. I smiled. So this is it? This is how we end with you cheating and telling me I deserve someone better?

I am so sorry it had to end this way. If it helps, I know that guy Stanley really loves you. He will make a good husband, he is a better man than myself. At least I haven’t touched you, so am sure he won’t kill me like he promised.

Its okay. I forgive you because you aren’t even worth it. I pray God touches your heart and you find him. God bless you for everything. Have a nice life David Adekose.

With that I left and drove to aunty Ejiro’s house. She was surprised to see me because it was late and I hadn’t told her I was coming.
I broke down in tears immediately I saw her. I told her everything and she cried with me too. She was so disappointed in David, but was glad I had not married an idiot like him, and most gladly he didn’t take advantage of my weakness that evening.
She kept on saying thank you God! Thank you Jehovah! While I kept on dying inside slowly like a cancer patient.

Love please hold on to me


© 2020 Jade George Anibor

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