I'm a middle aged, amateur fiction writer with a passion for sci-fi, thrillers, and comedy. Critiques and comments welcome, but be nice!
“I already know I’m allergic to Peanuts, what the hell,” Gavin said to no one.
Gavin looked over at the gun again, and shook his head, he couldn’t do this now, could he? Did he just imagine all that? Was this some kind of waking dream that made no sense, and alternate reality that his brain had conjured so he wouldn’t go through with killing himself? He started to reach for the gun one more time, and as he did so there was a loud knock at the door.
“Man! What the…” Gavin said as he stood up and went to the door of his hotel room. He slumped towards the door and looked through the spyhole. On the other side of the door distorted by the lens, was what looked like a homeless man. Disheveled hair, tufty greying beard, a thick threadbare green coloured scarf was wrapped around his neck and he wore a long green coat. It looked like something the army would issue.
“Wrong room my man.” Gavin said through the door. “What are you doing here anyway, how’d you get in here?”
The man smiled a wide grin, showing his yellow teeth, the fisheye perspective made him look like a demented but very dirty Chesire cat.
“Wrong room man!” Gavin said again, louder this time.
“Are you going to let me in or what? He sent me here to keep an eye on you” The homeless man said loudly. He put his eyeball right up to the peephole and made Gavin step backwards away from the door.
“Who did?” Gavin shouted apprehensively.
“What do you mean who? HE, did.”
“What? Ohhhh. Him?”
“Yes, HIM.” Said the man on the other side of the door.
Gavin reluctantly unlocked the door, and opened it. He was greeted with a foul smell of uncleanliness. It smelled like hot tar that had been covered in garbage with a layer of vomit and a dog turd topping. He tried to ignore it as best he could, but couldn’t help lifting the back of his hand to his face to stop the stench getting further up into his nose.
The man smiled again and pushed his way past Gavin and went further into the room. Gavin shut the door behind him with the flat of his hand.
“Ermmm, OK, so who are you?” He said to him.
The man ignored the question completely by saying ‘Got anything to eat?
“What? Errr yeh there might be something in the mini bar over there.” Gavin said pointing.
The man darted over to the small fridge and threw open the door, bright blue eyes were revealed under his big bushy eyebrows as his face lit up in excitement. He reached inside and pulled out a handful of mini bottles of Vodka, Whisky and Tequila. He unscrewed the cap of one and downed it in one, instantly.
“I thought you were hungry?” Gavin asked him.
“I am! But I’m thirsty as well.” He said his tongue darting out of his mouth and smoothing over his ragged upper lip. He unscrewed another bottle.
“So...what do you want?”
“Want?” the man answered. “I don’t want anything, I’m here to look after you, to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”
“You’re here to look after me? I think you’re the one who needs looking after, look at you.”
The man looked himself up and down, and looked disgusted at what Gavin had just said to him, and then went back to the fridge and grabbed a Mars bar. He expertly unwrapped it and ate it in two bites.
“Liften..” said the man while chewing. “Youb nob gunna get rid of me, I’m here to ftay until you…” He swallowed. “Until you figure this…” He gestured around the room, “Out.”
“Figure what out?”
He waved his arms around the room again and unscrewed another bottle, sat down on the bed and emptied the contents down his throat. “This!”
“I don’t understand, you’re here to look after me, until I figure something out?”
“Yes, that’s right - you got it, glad we figured that out, so now what?” The homeless man said.
“How are you supposed to help me, you’re well… no offense you’re a bum, homeless, or whatever you are. I think it’s you who needs looking after, not me. How’d you get into the hotel anyway?”
The man ignored him again and went back to the fridge, all that was left was a bottle of unopened water, he scrunched up his face in disappointment, flashing his blue eyes again.
“We need to go out.” He said.
“We need more food, I’m starving.” He said to Gavin.
“I’m not going anywhere with you, you errr, don’t look like the kind of people I hang around with and to be honest my friend, you kinda stink.”
“Ohhhh, listen to ‘Mr. All High and Mighty’, too good to be seen with the likes of me. He said as he lifted his fingerless gloved hands up and wiggled them at Gavin.
“No, it’s not that. Well maybe it’s a bit of that, it’s just that, I’m kind of a celebrity, people know me. If I get seen on the streets with someone like you, it’ll be all over social media and entertainment tonight in a second.”
“And?” Said the homeless man. “Won’t that be a good thing? Basketball superstar, seen out in public helping the needy? I think that’s actually a positive, not a negative. Everyone will love it, you showing your support for the likes of people like me, you’ll get thousands more followers.
Gavin thought he might be right there, and besides it didn’t seem like he was going to be able to get rid of this guy anytime soon. Maybe if he fed him and told him he’d figured ‘it’ out he could be done with him in a couple of hours.
“OK then, but first you need to shower.”
“No, can’t do that.” The man said. “I can’t be too clean, it gives away the facade, it took me ages to get smelling like this, and anyway, I quite like it.”
“Well I don’t…”
“Ah well, you’ll get used to it! Lets go!” He said as he stood up and wafted past Gavin towards the door.
Gavin followed him and stepped into the hallway, grabbing a shirt as he did and locked the door behind him, trying to ignore the gag inducing smell as he did so. They walked down the hallway together towards the elevators as Gavin stretched the shirt over his wide shoulders.
“So who are you anyway?” asked Gavin
“Me? Oh I’m just here to help, He asked, and whatever He says, goes.”
“So what should I call you?”
“Oh my name? I’m Raphael, you can call me Rape.”
“I can’t call you Rape for short, that’s not a good thing to be calling anyone.” Said Gavin.
“Oh no? What about Raph then?” He said.
“Yeh, that works better, like that guy from Harry Potter.”
“Yes, just like that guy from Harry Potter.” He said smiling.
Chapter 4 coming soon...Previous Chapter - Chapter 2 can be read here
© 2021 Steve Ettridge