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The Third Chapter

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Read First: Lost For The Second Time

Isn’t it overwhelming? The men in my past describe me as someone indifferent and cold even when I know for a fact I loved them during our times together.

Isn’t it ironic? I could move on from my broken relationship immediately that I could end up as friends with them sooner.

They would always tell me, I wasn’t really in love with them, or it would have been hard for me to be friends with them again that soon. And I never had any answers for that.

Isn’t it annoying? They hurl at me the same issues. I wasn’t there for them after all. And that I was securely wrapped inside my happy bubble alone.

I would be contented not seeing them. It never bothered me if my boyfriend that time didn’t call me nor visit nor date me at all. I didn’t question.

I didn’t doubt it. I was simply contented. But these men weren’t. For them, it’s an issue of intimacy. I never had answers for that.

Maybe, I have the answers now.

The what if stories in my life chained me for more than two decades. You become my strength after all these years, but the same intensity is also my weakness.

Maybe I have answers now.

When I found you, my love for you became more than everything I know. I wasn’t ready to let you go again. How could I? You were the only thing I hold on to on this world of dispensable.

Do I have the answers now?

The losing still makes me cry in vain like there’s no tomorrow. You become my strength, and my strength you will be. The same strength I will hold on to, to let this for the last time go.

Maybe, I have the answers now.

You said you believe I’m destined for greatness. Maybe I want you to be beside me when I climb to my destiny. But I have to let go now.

The love you said you have for me, I don’t have the answers to that. And I leave that be. For fate is a cruel thing for someone lost like me.

Face Of A Faith

Comments

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on August 15, 2019:

Hmmm a somewhat sad ending it seems. Well written, Miel.