The Never Ending Tunnel - Chapter Five
Chapter 5 / 18
As Will goes down for therapy in the morning, he can feel as though something is wrong. He has that gut feeling that something bad is about to happen. That feeling is quite weird considering he just had the best night of his life, however, he did feel as though bad something was about to happen and quite frankly, he was not wrong.
As he entered the therapist's room, he sensed the tension in the room. He sat down, waiting for something to happen. He felt his heart racing; his anxiety was off the roof.
"Good morning Will. Did you have a good night's sleep?" his therapist asks with a weird look on her face. Maybe she had found out somehow about their night and she asked him to see if he was going to lie.
"Yes I did actually. I slept the whole night which is pretty unusual." Will replied worriedly.
"Someone told me that you were awake at 4:30 in the morning with another patient; Jess.. Do you mind explaining to me what you two were up to in the early hours of the day? You do know that you are not allowed to leave your room after 8:30 so I can't really think of a suitable reason why you were up at that time on the roof. Besides, both of you know that the roof is strictly restricted. Apart from that we made it very clear from the minute both of you entered the facility; dating is forbidden at all costs. It interferes with your progress."
"Nothing happened and no we're not dating. We just went for a little walk that's all it's no big deal. We're just friends and wanted to spend some time with each other." Will replied, clearly lying.
"You do know that if you two are actually dating there's a high risk of interrupting your treatment right? And you do know that unless you get your clearance you won't leave this facility right? Listen Will I'm telling you this for your own good. Don't mess things up. We have had patients who have spent months and months here, do you want to waste your teenage years inside this hospital? If you don't then I suggest you abide by the rules. Dating another patient who is also severely depressed is not recommended at all. You can only make things worse if anything."
Her tone was getting angrier. She was frustrated. It was as though every employee in this hospital had signed a pact to not let patients be happy. It was bullshit and this was not going to interfere in Will and Jess' relationship.
Will wasn't the only one who just got interrogated by their therapist. Jess' therapist too brought up the subject but Jess isn't like Will. She was too scared to even answer the questions her therapist had asked her. She wasn't as good at lying as Will was and such situations made her feel super anxious.
The only thing that worried Will was if Jess will decide to let things go for a while between them. After all, neither of them wanted to spend another day in this hospital but both of them wanted to be with each other too. They were both in a situation.
After the usual hour and a half, they met up for breakfast. That is the only place they can have a conversation without getting weird looks from nurses. Patients were expected to have conversations in the dining room and nurses encourage such interactions.
"Am I the only one who just got interrogated by my therapist or?" Jess immediately asked Will the second she sees him.
"No I got the talk too. It's bullshit really and it pisses me off so much. It's like they want us to be sad. If anything this will only make things better not worse. I don't get it."
"I know Will, I feel the same way but I was wondering if we should give each other some space. It's not something I want to do trust me but since both our therapists and probably the administration know about us, we just might as well not break the rules and prolong our stay here. I want to get the hell out of here as soon as possible and I sure as hell don't want my father to find out. The last thing I need right now is for him to start acting all parent-y on me."
Jess saw the sadness in Will's eyes. She absolutely crushed him even though it wasn't her fault and it wasn't something she wanted to happen. If there was one thing which made Will feel happy at all and give him hope about life was Jess, and now everything was falling apart and taken away from him.
"Jess we really don't have to do this. We can just sneak around. They won't catch us I promise. We can be more careful next time. Last night was one of the best nights of my life and the reason it was the best is because of you. For once I was happy and you're the reason why. I can't lose you."
"Will please. Let's not make this any harder than it already is. I don't want any of this to happen at all. I wish we weren't stuck in this shitty ass hospital so we could be free to be with each other. Will, you make me feel something nobody has ever made me feel. You actually give me a reason to get out of my bed in the morning and make an effort. I'm sorry but I really want to get the hell out of this place and the only way both of us will get out is if we abide by the rules. It's not my choice trust me. I want to be with you but as long as we're here, we can't. We have to wait until we get out."
At that moment, Jess picked up her tray and moved to another table, opposite of Will. Will couldn't believe that just a few hours before he was on the roof kissing Jess and now he wasn't even allowed to be with her or see her. The minute something good happened to him it got taken away from him again. It was as if Will was destined to be sad. The one time things were starting to look up they turned to being shit immediately.
After that dreadful morning, Will and Jess went back to their rooms. They didn't go to their usual walk. It had become part of their routine and it felt weird not going to the usual walk. They both hated every second of what was happening. What were they supposed to do now?
As Will was about to get in bed, Nurse Holly came in and told him to go down for the usual communal meeting. He didn't want to go at all, especially after the shitty day he had just had. There was Jess at the meeting and he sat opposite her. She felt the same way he felt. She wanted to be with him but she also didn't want to break the rules. She wanted to get the hell out of there so that they could be together without anybody forbidding their relationship.
A new person had come in the hospital. It was a fourteen year old boy with dark hair and dark circles under his eyes. You could see that he hadn't had a proper sleep in ages. Will felt sorry for the guy as he knows what he had to go through. Everybody gathered in this circle knew exactly what everybody went through. Everybody was going through hell, some worse than others but they all were suffering. The worst part of it all was seeing teenagers coming in day after day. These years are shaped out to be the best years of one's life but some teens are spending it inside psychiatric hospitals.
The next day Will decided to sit beside the new guy at breakfast. Will knew how horrible it felt the first day he came in.
"Hi, I'm Will."
You could see the lack of enthusiasm in the way he talked. You could see that he was in no mood to meet new people and so Will moved to the next seat. You can't really blame him though can you? He was just taken away from his home and put in this psychiatric hospital in attempt to get better; only little does everybody know that it can only fuck you up even more. Sometimes, these hospitals make things worse for you rather than make you feel better.
Will found himself alone once again. Just like old times. There wasn't a phase in Will's life which he didn't spend it on his own. He never had any friends and the one time he had met somebody who he actually liked and wanted to talk to, she got taken away from him.
A few days ago, Will had Jess and they would spend every minute possible with each other but now here they are. Both of them all on their own, feeling lonely and as sad as ever. It's moments like these which make Will think that maybe not everybody is destined to have a good and happy life. Circumstances like these make Will think that maybe life is not for everybody and some people are destined to live an unhappy depressed life until they decide to end it all.
They both missed each other but there was nothing they could do. They wanted to get the hell out of this hospital and just live normal lives with each other. Whilst some teenagers are out enjoying their lives with their friends and families, inside this hospital it's the complete opposite. Inside this hospital there are teenagers and even older men and women who are struggling with their lives.