The Never Ending Tunnel - Chapter Eight
Chapter 8 / 18
Chapter 8 / 18
Jess sat down at her usual seat. Ever since she came to this hospital, nobody had talked to her. Nobody got to know her. She literally had no one; she was all alone.
This time to her surprise a guy sat down next to her.
"I'm Matt. How are you doing?"
Jess felt extremely uncomfortable. She hadn't talked to anybody in so long she felt as though she had forgotten how to communicate with another person.
"Well hello Jess. Since you're not doing anything would you like to go outside with me?"
As he asked her Jess started thinking of the walks Will and her used to go to every day. She didn't want to go at all but she felt too anxious to say no. She didn't know how to reject politely and so she nodded and joined Matt along. She immediately started feeling guilty. She felt as though she was betraying Will even though she hadn't seen him in so long and she would most probably never see him again. It was time for her to start moving on and stop dwelling on the past and meet new people. They both had to accept things the way they were; they were not going to see each other again.
"Is it true that you got relocated to this hospital?" Matt asked, trying to break the ice.
"How did you find out? Who told you?"
"Nobody told me relax. I just wanted to have something to talk to you about so I asked a nurse to tell me something about you and he told me that you moved hospitals so you could be closer to your home."
Jess felt annoyed. It was none of his business or anyone else's for that matter. She wanted to be left alone.
In the meantime, Will started brainstorming ideas on how he could find a way to communicate with Jess. He wanted to find a way for Jess and him to meet; he didn't want to lose her all over again. Will knew that if he wasn't going to do anything he would never see Jess again.
"Will I be seeing you tonight for the community meeting?" Matt asked.
"I guess so why not. It's not like I've got other plans."
Jess felt kind of weird that someone who wasn't Will was giving her attention. Their walk was kind of refreshing for Jess. She had finally made a new friend.
She sat next to Matt at the meeting as he was the only person she knew. She was surrounded by so many new people whom she had never talked to before. She started feeling her anxiety building up.
Jess had been suffering from anxiety most of her life. Depression and anxiety go hand in hand and they have ruined Jess' life and so many other lives around the world. She always had panic attacks when she was in situations where there were people with whom she wasn't comfortable with and fortunately, Will was one of the people whom she felt comfortable, which is why she missed him so much. She didn't have to worry about her appearance or anything else when she was around Will.
"Are you okay? You look a bit tensed." Matt asked. "We can leave if you're not feeling comfortable. I'll find a way to get us out of here."
"Please do." Jess replied desperately.
Somehow Matt found a way to get them out of the room. He really did have good intentions and he wanted her to feel okay. He too knew what it was like to have your whole life consumed by mental illnesses.
As they made their way to their rooms, Jess realised that Matt's room was on the same floor as hers. She didn't know how to tell him that she was fine now and she would like to be alone. They made their way to Jess' room and he sat on her bed. Matt went in with her to make sure that she was fine.
"Do you feel any better now?"
"Yes thank you so much and I'm sorry I ruined your evening."
"Ruined? I'm actually glad that we got out of that. I really do hate those meetings." He said giggling.
Matt was being so nice to Jess she felt even more guilty for being so cold with him. He was only trying to help her out.
"I'll leave you to it then. Have a good night Jess and I'll see you tomorrow." Matt said, smiling at her. "If you'll need anything just come knock at my door no matter what time it is."
She enjoyed Matt's company. He was a great guy and he had certainly helped her that night. For some reason Jess started thinking about her father and her step mother. That night, she realised how many people she had been mistreating for trying to help her. Even though she wasn't on good terms with her step-mother, she too only had good intentions and Jess humiliated her in front of her father and therapist. She hated herself for being so cold and arrogant.
Will on the other hand was still alone. He didn't have any other friends. He had spent every day with Jess and now that she's gone, he has no one else. He felt lonely and he hated that feeling. Everything was getting worse for him. His depression was getting worse and worse. At least, Jess did make a new friend and had someone to spend her free time with.
His medication dosage got increased by his therapist who thought it would be the ideal solution. He still had these suicidal thoughts and he was afraid that someday he would end it all. He had to stay alive for Jess. He had to find a way to get back together with her and after days of trying to find a solution, he finally came up with an idea.
His plan was that he would escape from his hospital and somehow get to Jess' hospital. He then would break the both of them out and get away as far as possible and start their new lives together. That plan had absolutely no chance of working out. Every hospital required an identification tag in order to enter the hospital's premises and only nurses had these tags which were on embedded in their white coats. Apart from that he also needed a way of transport to get to Jess' hospital.
Will hadn't figured it all out just yet but he knew that this was the only way to go. He knew that he wanted to do this. The only hope he had left was Jess and he was willing to risk everything to try and get back with her.
It was around two in the morning and Will couldn't sleep as usual. He was in bed trying to think of ways how he could get access to one of the white coats. He got out of bed and got a piece of paper and started writing a note to Jess, trying to inform her of his plan.
I hope you're okay. I have come up with a plan for us to be together. This is the only way possible we could ever be with each other. Be prepared for me and I hope I will see you very soon. I love you so much.
Another problem was that the only way the hospital would give Jess the letter was if the letter was from close family members. When Jess was hospitalised, her father gave the hospital the names which could make contact with Jess. The hospital always tried to keep that list as short as possible and they would only allow Jess to communicate with someone if their name was on the list. Will knew this and so he decided to sign the letter in her father's name. That was the only way he could get Jess to read the letter.
Will was desperate to be with Jess and she was desperate to be with him too. Ever since they got separated things only got worse for him and now he was at a stage where he absolutely couldn't carry on. He was losing hope in life once again, just like when he attempted suicide. Will was determined to be Jess and he was willing to put everything on the line and risk everything to give it a chance. His plan wasn't the best and it had a very little chance of working out but at least he had something. Will spent that whole night trying to think of ways he could make this plan work. No matter what he had to go through, he was willing to go through it as long as he would end up being with Jess. She meant everything to him.