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Slightly Awkward Adventures: Gamer Girls, My Junk, and the PTA

Mike is a long-time supporter of procrastination and enjoys doing as often as he can.


It’s been about a month since my experience at the college, and my new relationship with Tianna started. When we got back, we decided to slow down the sex part, and it’s been two weeks of the no sex dating, and things are going surprisingly well…… well, it’s hard to think you can miss something you only had for a short time but…... I don’t know. None of that matters now; today’s a good day and a good day to die. Fight to the Death 3 is going live on the PlayStation 4pro. For those people that live under a rock or are Amish, the FD games are period-accurate war simulator, first-person shooters. The OG FD was about the American revolutionary war and the American Civil War with period-accurate weapons and uniforms. FD 2 covers world war one and two complete with the ability to play as British, American, German, Japanese, or French underground soldiers. Game three is going to be something about Korea and Vietnam. Some people are mad about the gameplay feature and some of the material, but those people don’t play.


I had paid for the game a month ago as well as a special headset and new controller just for this game. This would be the first time my team and I talked to each other in gameplay. My team uses the name of playing cards as avatar names. I’m the Six of Diamonds or Six D. Our team leader is Three of Clubs or Tre C. The rest of the team are Nine of Diamonds or Ni D, Four of Hearts or Four D and my best friend in the game the Two of Diamonds or just Two D and sometimes Duce. Most of us met in the first game and just stayed as a team throughout the gameplay. The gameplay started as usual, with everyone checking in. When Duce checked in, she finally showed with her voice she was a girl. Then Tre C checked in, and she was also a girl.

Four D chimed in, saying, “what the frack…… I don’t play with girls…... this game isn’t for girls…. How can you be a girl?”

Tre C said, “this is the reason why I hate playing with boys. Frack all of you.”

Both checked out.

I said, “we can still go with just the three of us…... let’s kill some Charlie.”

Ni D said back, “wow racist much?”

Together we tried to take a small village searching for Vietcong while not hurting the villagers. As we searched, Ni D kept talking about all the inaccuracies of the village. As it turned out, he was born in Vietnam long after the war, and his father fought in the war as a member of the Vietcong. About an hour into the game, he turned and shot a small child. He said the gameplay was offensive and too real. He left the game saying how all us Cis white people are wrong to play this game. I asked Duce if she wanted to talk in a private chat.

She said, “just call me Tracy.”

The game offers this chamber for teams to meet up and plan. Well, in the earlier games, they offered this privilege. In this game, there was a timer counting down from three minutes.

I said, “we could find a new team.”

Tracy countered, “it won’t matter; this is the kind of crap I see every day online. Guys see me, and the game turns into a sausage fest.”

I asked, “how do they see you?”

What I didn’t know or passed when I didn’t read all the legal crap at the beginning of the game was that the game activated my camera attached to the PS4.

She said, “dude, I’ve been watching you scratch your balls for the last hour, and well, I saw your junk…... are you saying you didn’t know?”

I play my games in my room in my boxers. I had no idea anyone was watching or could watch.

I told her this, and she laughed, saying, “this camera thing started in the second game. Most of the people playing with or against us at some point saw your junk.”

The room flashed, and a sign showed up saying if we want more time, it would be three dollars. We left the room with Tracy, still laughing as I covered myself with a blanket. I looked around the functions until I found an icon that looked like a picture frame. I clicked on it and saw Tracy for the first time, and she was younger than me. Tracy said she lived in Brimfield and was a freshman attending Field High School. A sign appeared saying we needed more people to play as a team, and it could find us another player for one dollar. This game was supposed to be playable by yourself, so we opted not to pay for the game we already paid for, but they weren’t done. At every turn, we found micro-transactions, which are ways to purchase items or out and out ways to cheat in the game. We made our way back to a city fighting everyone on the way, including fellow American soldiers. About the time we found what looked like a safe space.

Tracy started to giggle, “saying your junk is out again.”

The room was hot, and in all the gameplay, I forgot about the blanket or my traitorous boxers. A message went over the game, selling our position for a sum of fifty cents. Tracy went down, and I left the game.

We tried to use the chat function in the game, but it wanted fifty-nine cents a minute. When I paid over seventy dollars for a game as well as nearly one hundred dollars for all the specialized gear, I thought I could play the game, but no…... all I could do was pay and pay. What should have been a way to distract myself from all the non-sex I was having became a massive rip-off. I tried to play one of the older games, but they wouldn’t play without online support, which was no longer available. I turned off the system and covered the camera. I spent the rest of the night watching YouTube. Many of the videos were on Gamergate. While I didn’t know it at the time, I was now a part of that discussion, and when I say discussion, I mean angry rants on both sides saying absolutely nothing. Gamergate is far too complicated for me to write about. It’s also contentious with anything I did write, leading to people screaming, “wrong, you are so fracking wrong.”I stayed away from all that. All I wanted to do was play with my friends, but in one hour, I lost my entire team. Things just went downhill from there.

The next day in class, there was an announcement about a PTA meeting and the growing concern over the violence and pornography in video games. I decided to take this opportunity to write my first article covering the meeting as well as adding my own experiences to the story. I asked the head of the school paper, Mrs. Johnson, but she told me to leave my part out of the story and stick to the facts. Tianna came with me to record the meeting only to find out the meeting was closed to any recordings.


We passed a teacher from another grade who gave me the stink eye. Halfway in, we passed a girl with a lot of long curly reddish hair and a grin…. An evil, malicious grin.

She said, “wow, so you came to this and with pants on and everything…... nice.”

My brain said, “oh, so your Tracy,” but my mouth said nothing.

Tianna asked, “what does that mean?”

I turned to see an angry look on her face.

Tracy laughed, saying, “your loverboy here likes to play games in and out of his boxers and doesn’t know how to turn off the camera.”

Tracy smiled and said, “well, you’ll see what I mean inside.”

Inside we found some signs reading, “Protect our Girls,” and “Stop the predators.” Among the signs were also pictures of men and boys in stages of undress, and yes, one of them was a picture of me in my boxers with my genitals exposed. My face was blurred out, but not my junk. I wanted to tell someone I was underage, but just now, I think keeping my mouth shut was the best option. Tianna just laughed.

The meeting started with a screaming match between parents who also game and those people who think any video games are evil. The teacher from earlier kept staring at me.

Tracy leaned in from behind and said, “that teacher is Tre C, and I think she knows you, and I definitely know she knows your junk.”

She told us she went back into the game and talked to Tre C, who had another team made up of all girls. She told the girl about how I didn’t know about the camera, and Tre C uploaded some videos and pictures of my junk.

Tracy said, “I told her you were like 15 or younger when most of those pics were taken an could be child porn…... she wasn’t happy.”

The meeting ended with a call to parents to stop allowing their children to play the war games. They also outlawed any merch involving the games. Tre C stopped me near the door and pulled me into a hallway.

She said, “I know that was you, and I’m going to keep an eye out for any new posts, so keep it zipped.”

She leaned in and whispered, “sexy little man.”

I wanted to vomit.


Back home, I found the door to my room open, and the PS4 gone with a receipt from a GameStop. A note saying I would get the money when I could explain the picture of me in and out of my boxers in a PTA meeting. My parents were at the meeting with my three sisters. They left when my younger sister Joan recognized me in the picture. I hooked up my older Roku to my television. I sat there next to my girlfriend, not having sex watching a YouTube video of the PTA meeting, and thank god they blurred out my junk. The video talked about how evil guys like me are ruining gaming for girls everywhere. The next video used footage of the first to go after the person making the video and what she was talking about. Neither of them knew or spoke of what really happened. Using my phone, Tianna recorded my first personal vlog talking about the events of the meeting as well as my part in the whole thing. Tianna added some thoughts, and we made a good team. She said how she stopped playing games because, as she said, “most gamers suck.” Together we posted the video. Now all that is left is to wait and see what the internet brings.

© 2019 Michael Collins aka Lakemoron

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