I am a writer, a customer care rep, a business administrator, a lover of life and a successful single lady who sees every child as hers.
Honey this is the two hundredth time you have burnt food in this house because of your stupid poems.
Pete, if not for your stupid project you should have checked the food so it won’t have gotten burnt!
Hey watch your mouth this project feeds you. Pete smiled. He loved it when he and Maggie battled with words because she looked more beautiful anytime she was irritated.
You know what? Dish the food, I need to go pee.
But how many times will you pee?
As Maggie walked to the toilet, the burnt food was not even the least on her mind. My period was suppose to have come last two weeks! She lamented to herself. I have been checking now for the past two days nothing. She said aloud as she pulled down her panties to check for menstrual signs. I just hope this man has not gotten me pregnant from that sex we had last month that was so sudden, and I hadn’t swallowed my pills then.
Coming downstairs from her bathroom, she heard Peter scream her name. This man won't just work and shut up. She murmured.
Maggie! For heavens sake how long will it take you to pee? Are you giving birth?
The last question didn’t go well with Maggie, as she came downstairs with a warning. Peter don’t use those words on me again!
What words? He asked looking puzzled.
“Giving birth”. She tiredly replied.
Please come dish the food I'm starving and so not in the mood for your drama.
But I told you to dish it, didn’t I?
Baby my hands are tied to my project, you were the one who emphatically told me to look for a job! Now I have found one deal with it.
Well it’s a good thing you did. It’s better you have your hands on that project than on me.
But Maggie wait. Are you pregnant?
What? Are you crazy Peter?
Taking his eyes off his project and placing them on her, he asked. Is it wrong to ask? It’s just that you have not been writing as you use to, your late nights and all that so I just asked. I am a caring husband.
Am not pregnant! God forbid.
Go to the hospital tomorrow. He ended the conversation.
Okay I will. But it’s because I feel stressed not because I am pregnant. And stop smiling, I am not pregnant! God!
She went into the kitchen and tried dialing Ayo's line but it was busy. But what is wrong with this guy! This is the tenth time I am calling his cell but keeps beeping busy.
Ayo at the other end of the phone has been busy throughout the whole night till this morning. And this recent phone call was to keep him busy throughout the day because it was no other person but desperate Felicia.
Yes Felicia, I saved your number. I know you are the one calling. How are you?
I am okay sir. Please Sir did you receive my poems from Titi?
Oh yes I did! My wife gave them to me. How is work going?
Oh Titi didn’t tell you? I have been sacked.
Sacked? Why? Asking curiously but still keeping his cool.
Yeah because of that little compliment you gave me when you said “ I love you”. It’s really funny how little rumors could spread like wild fire. It got to the ears of the board that I am dating my student’s father.
But that’s absurd! How can they say that? Look Felicia; do you want me to come talk to them? He asked feeling guilty and sorry at the same time.
No Sir please! She said he a hurry. I have gotten enough embarrassment already. Please let sleeping dog lie.
So what are you going to do for a living now? He asked with a desire to help. And Felicia felt it; and took advantage of it fast.
That’s what I wanted to discuss with you. Sir please can you book an appointment for me to come see you today at your office?
You know what? Meet me by 2pm at Mr Smallchops eatery, I will be there for my lunch in fifteen minutes.
Okay sir, please text me the address or the location of the particular branch.
Okay Felicia I will do so now. Immediately you hang up. He added getting excited to meet her again.
Okay sir. She smiled like a victorious seductress at the other end of the line. Bye for now Sir. Thank you Sir.
When Ayo ended the call, he immediately did as he said. He then saw Maggi’s missed calls and felt it was high time he attended to his writer pal. But at this point it was Maggi’s turn to busy his call.
Maggi was in a hurry to get to the hospital. She couldn’t wait for tomorrow. And she didn’t want her husband to know where she was going. Since Ayo her closest pal and partner in crime wasn’t picking her calls, she had to find another alibi. And she did! As she was getting into her car, Ayo's call came in. She cuts it, and focuses on her destination. She needed to be there quick and back.
At exactly fourth five minutes later, Maggie was at the hospital. After running some texts, she was called to the doctor’s office for the results.
Doctor Rukky was exceptionally happy for Maggi today. He greeted her so politely and not in a hurry.
Okay doctor. What is it? Do I have fever? Maggie was not in the mood for doctor Rukky's strange patience today.
No Mrs Peter Thomas. In fact it’s good news! He smiled broadly; which annoyed Maggie more.
Doctor what is good news about being ill?
Well you aren’t ill, you are pregnant! He said out loud waiting for Maggie’s leap for joy but non came. It was some strange brief silent seconds which gave away doctor Rukky's impatient behavior.
Mrs Thomas did you not hear what I just said? He asked in a hurry.
No! I didn’t.
I said you are pregnant! Aren’t you happy? He was forced to ask.
Doctor I said I didn’t hear what you said, I am deaf. Can you say something I will hear.
Mrs Thomas what is wrong?
Doctor please tell me I have malaria or even cancer I will understand but please do not use the p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t word on me again.
Mrs Thomas please being pregnant is…..
Stop using that word on me! Maggie shouted! Standing up from the chair she was sitting on and pacing around like a troubled lioness. I said I am deaf! I am officially deaf doctor! Do have a nice day! She walks out of the office leaving her text results in the doctor’s hands. He looks at it, and wonders what just happened. This is a beautiful married woman with a caring husband he had met a few times during their visits to the hospital. He has been their doctor since they relocated to Lagos. Emeka had recommended the hospital; it was the same place he had his last two children and Peter loved the attention he got from doctor Rukky anytime he got there. Doctor Rukky had always wondered why Maggie always ordered for contraceptives and Peter always spoke about having kids. Now he knew why. Maggie didn’t want children. With a sign, he went ahead to attend to other patients.
Among his other patients was Rose Okeke. He had dealt with her for years, she was nice and friendly but he preferred Mrs Thomas to her. Rose was never in a hurry to leave the hospital whenever she came. Unlike Maggie, she would gist with the nurses, chat with other patients and trouble the doctors with needles questions; and that delayed doctor Rukky which he didn’t like.
This very day, Maggie had successfully avoided her and doctor Rukky wished he could do the same but he couldn’t. Rose was next on the queue; he beckoned her in and as usual she delayed his examination.
Doctor please let me just make this brief call. She said to him while sitting comfortably in his office watching his impatient behavior.
Hello Mr Danjuma This is Mrs Rose Okeke.
Okay madam Rose what can I do for you? His rich voice replied.
Well I was discussing with a friend about a good investor who loves poetry and prose, and someone asked me to google you and I did. I find your venture so amazing.
Go to the chase madam Rose. I don’t like dealing with married women.
Oh I am a divorced woman. And I dislike my ex husband. She hurriedly replied. She never knew this detail and why would anyone dislike dealing with married women? She wondered silently. So what I want to say is this: My ex husband is a very good writer and known too. I have a very recent work of his and I will like to sell it to you without his knowledge.
Wow! I love crazy divorced women. He said laughing hard at the other end of the phone.
Wow! Thanks for that wonderful compliment. So here is the deal; I will give it to you. It’s stored in his flash. You will copy it quickly, pay me off, give me the flash back and I keep it just how I met it.
Rose, I am loving you more. Meet me in my office. He gave her the address quickly like a dishonest business man whose only goal is to make profit.
Thanks Mr Danjuma, till then. She ends the call and turns to look at the doctor like he didn’t hear a word she said. Doctor Rukky, please today I am in a hurry, kindly attend to me quickly I need to be somewhere.
And he stared at her like he didn’t understand what she just said.
There were a lot of secret meetings done today by some residents on Paradise street. Ayo had just booked a secret meeting with Felicia. Maggie had had a secret meeting with doctor Rukky. And Rose was now unusually in a hurry for a meeting she had just booked with Mr Danjuma.
Ayo's meeting with Felicia was going dangerously well as they sat in the eatery discussing.
Oh Felicia, please accept my apology once more. I am so sorry about what happened to you.
It’s okay sir. Felicia smiled. Once my poems are out, I am made for life! And the sack letter will end up being a blessing.
Wow I love your spirit Felly. That is the spirit of a writer.
So let’s get to business. She said professionally. When do we start publishing?
Well now I'm still going through your work trying to see where and …..
Felicia! A voice from behind distracts their conversion. Felicia what are you doing here?
Oh Mr Badmus, I am having lunch. She replied the question staring at the questioner like just a neighbor.
But why didn’t you come to work today? Mr Badmus asked looking so shocked as he observed Felicia’s care free attitude towards him. You know the end of the term exams are approaching. This isn’t the time to miss school.
Well as you can see, I am eating. Can we talk about this later? She said arrogantly.
Wait a minuet. Ayo cuts in. Mr Badmus please who are you?
I am the head teacher of Eagles comprehensive high school. Miss Felicia here is a staff of our school.
But what do you mean by Felicia missed school. Was she not sacked?
Mr Ayo please I will explain to you later. Felicia cuts in.
Explain what Felicia? Badmus looked surprised. No Sir, Felicia wasn’t sacked. She is one of our best.
So what about the rumor of she dating one Mr Oluwole? Ayo asked boldly because he knew the Badmus didn’t know who he is since he only went to his children school just once.
Oh she told you about that? He smiled. No sir we cannot sack our staff over a gossip. We only cautioned her on how to relate with male parents. Please Miss Felicia come to work tomorrow okay. We have been trying to reach you all day but to no avail. I am happy I bumped into you. I was sent on an errand by the principal. I just stopped here to get food for myself. He patted her on the back, greeted Ayo again and left. He was in love with Felicia, and he was glad he had seen her today to stop whatever silly plan she was making to leave the school. He just couldn’t help it not seeing her again. If he were not married; he would have successfully convinced her to marry him. He told himself that many times.
Felly, Felly. Ayo called her twice looking angry. Why did you lie to me? Can you explain? Giving her benefit of the doubt.
What else do you want to hear Mr Ayo? Haven’t you heard it all?
But why did you lie about being sacked?
Because Sir, I am a writer! She replied crying. The only way I would hasten your pace about my poems, was to put myself in a pitiable condition. And yes it was working till Mr Badmus the nursery school teacher came and ruined it all! I was so close to my dreams, so close and look at the big opportunity in front of me. When will I ever get this again? Now he came and ruined it.
Ayo smiled looking pleased at her admiration for him. But you just called Badmus a nursery school teacher. I thought he said he is your head teacher?
Don’t mind the dreamer. He isn’t. She lied through her teeth. He is in love with me and does not want me to leave the school. He just told you he is the head teacher to convince you and ruin my big opportunity. She stressed to impress.
So Felly you are saying you decided to leave your job over poems that I haven’t even published?
Yes sir. I believe so much in my writings. It is my passion. I will leave my job over and over again for this opportunity to hasten Mr Ayo Oluwole the great poet to publish my works.
Wow Felicia, you are a crazy writer! You know what? Right now; I am employing you as my personal assistant. I need crazy poets like you around.
Wow sir you mean it! Kneeling down to thank him.
Oh common Felly get up. He laughed. I mean it crazy Felly!
Oh my God am so grateful Sir. Shakes the hand he offers.
Congratulations! Work begins at 8am prompt tomorrow. And that was it for Felicia.
While almost everyone on Paradise street was having one adventure or the other; Linda was looking for one as she sat with her now over due pregnancy longing for some usual action, as it as always been since she and her husband moved down to paradise street. She decided to start with her husband George. She picked up her phone to pressure him so unaware of the scorching sun outside as she posed on her long couch in her air conditioned room.
Hello George, where are you and when are you coming home? She asked him on the phone.
Very soon Linda.
But where are you?
No George you are not at work. I called your boss now to find out how your sanity is doing but he said you have not been coming to work for the past two days.
Okay Linda you got me there. George gave up the lies. Am out.
Out looking for stories to make my latest script perfect.
George. Linda said his name in a romantic way. Please come home. You don’t have to be perfect. Your scripts sell enough.
No Linda! It doesn’t. Sounding optimistic. There is something missing and I want to find it dead or alive.
Okay. Linda gave up. Happy finding crazy writer. She hangs up and thinks who to disturb next. Oh let me call Rose! She concluded. As she dialed Rose's number; she knew there was some gist waiting for her.
Hello Linda! Came Rose's melodious voice.
Madam Rose! How your end?
My dear I dey o! How is the baby kicking?
Oh we are kicking fine. So please gist me! How did it go?
It went fine. I sold the book for 500,000 naira!
500,000 naira! Wow so Emeka's book is up to that?
Me self surprise o! Don’t even know what he is even writing. Anyway the guy wan turn am into movie. So he just settle me.
Rose you be bad babe! I can’t wait to see the look on Emeka's face when he sees the replica of his book been aired on TV as a season film. Laughing and enjoying the gist Linda continued. Abeg replay his expressions to me o!
Of course I will. Trust me na. He will soon be knocking on my door soonest.
Really? Mr Danjuma will release the movie soon?
Of course! He is a big time movie investor. He has everything you can think of to do a good and quick job. Thanks so much Linda for telling me about him. You are a darling.
Oh please don’t mention. My crazy husband couldn’t stop talking about Mr Danjuma ever since Maggie told him about the contract and link she has gotten for them with him. George has been coming home late since then looking for a perfect story.
My dear, don’t mind these crazy writers. We their wives, will revolt against them and bring them to normal.
Yes o! Linda screamed. I have to go now girl, time to eat.
Please don’t eat too much o! So you don’t get fat.
I hear you madam fitness. Bye love.
Yes babes bye.
© 2020 Jade George Anibor