I am a woman and a lover of women. An emotional speaker and a love coach.
Cynthia darling, how are you?
Please who is it?
It's I, Baba Yusuf.
Oh good evening sir, how was your day sir?
It want well. Thank you.
Sir, we have paid our security money for the month. I do not owe anything.
Did I ask you of security money? I just stopped you to chat with you.
Chat with me Sir?
Why are you surprised? Are you a baby?
Excuse me sir, I don't understand.
Common on, grabbing her waist; you know I like you.
Jesus! Immediately pulling off. Sir please respect yourself.
What is it? How much do you want? I am one of the respectable landlords on this street. I have the money. And a beautiful young girl like you need a senior man like me by your side.
God forbid! I reject it. If they have sent you to me, tell them you didn't see me.
Common leave all that religious talk. He said itching his private part and talking at the same time. I know you like God a lot and like talking about him, leave that thing. Will God come down from heaven to help you? He will send someone.
And you feel God has sent you? Hissing and walking out, she talks to herself. I wonder what made this old fool think he can get me. Useless man. I even thought he was better than his wife. That one that gallivants around with both young boys and men, even sleeping with one of my neighbors right in front of his wife! And the poor woman can't do a thing since she rented one of her shops, and due to the love affair between her husband and her; she doesn't ask for rent.
Useless man! Cynthia echoed as baba Yusuf who had walked back to his car, now drove passed her in shame.
Just within a short distance she could see him stop his car talking to someone; she cared less as she entered into her compound and shut the gate.
Mr Emeka, am glad to hear you are doing fine. I have been wanting to see you, to remind you of the landlords meeting coming up on the last Saturday of the month.
Oh that! Yes. Will make out time to be there.
Okay, let me drive home. I had a long day.
Okay Mr Ali. Good night Sir.
Yeah goodnight. As he drove off, he breathed a sign of relieve he had let him be.
Mr Ali, also called by the name of one of his children; baba Yusuf, talked too much. And all his talks were a about women and wine. He owned a small bungalow and had two wives. The first wife was sent back to the village many years ago when he went back to his home town to marry a younger woman who didn't know how to do without sex . She had sex with almost all the spoilt youths living on the street and beyond. The very day she brought her rottenness close to Emeka, was the day she stopped greeting him. He didn't care. He had given her a piece of my mind that day, and that shamed her.
Baba Yusuf had a polygamous family who wasted his money, which he himself loved wasting. If care wasn't taken; Paradise street was soon to see his down fall.
Coming back to reality, Emeka walked into his house thanking God for softening the mind of Rose to hand over his book to him, which she promised to send to him early the next day. Her excuse was Gloria was asleep and didn't know where she kept it.
Don't worry honey, will tell Gloria to bring it over to you in the morning. You can call Chris and tell him tomorrow is a sure deal.
With those words, he had walked home believing. Chris was already mad when he postponed the initial appointment last week. If not that Chris had known him for ages, before and after his divorce; he would have been done with him. Chris was a strict man. In fact he was a loner.
Emeka couldn't wait for his alarm to wake him up. He woke the alarm up instead; touching it to see if his clock was still working. It was exactly 6:15am, and he had set the alarm for 6:30. So he got out of bed, showered, dressed and went to the kitchen to get something to eat. Just about dropping the dirty dishes after a quick breakfast, his door bell rang. Going over to open the door, he saw Gloria his daughter.
My darling Gloria. Kissing her and smiling. You were asleep when I came in to check on you last night.
Dad I know you came in to check on the book. Please don't be mad at me.
Mad at you? Looking at the way she kept her two hands behind her back, he continued; hope you okay honey?
I am dad. It's just that the book..... Bringing it out very closely from behind; got wet. I mistakenly dropped it into my bath top. I was reading it in the top. Am sorry.
It's okay love. Taking the book from her and breathing a sign of relief. Thanks for bringing it.
Can I come in dad?
Oh yes Honey. Please come in. Still looking at his book.
Dad, why don't you go dry it with your hand dryer.
Oh yes! That's a nice one. Will be with you in a second.
He ran in to his room and turned on his hand dryer. The very one he used in drying his Afro hair. He never joked with his hand dryer and his good looks. At that very moment; electricity went off. And his generator had been in a bad condition for some days now. It was taken by the generator repairer and not yet returned.
Oh no! This is a disaster. Coming out of the room and having no other option but to head to the office like that with the wet book; he saw his daughter close to his briefcase.
I think I have to go now.
Okay dad. Do have a nice day okay. Love you. She tiptoed to kiss him, ran off and Emeka got into his car and drove off.
Less than an hour, he was at his company and ready to answer to Chris his personal adviser and partner.
Save it! Were is the book?
Here it is. Handing it over to him and continuing with his conversation to distract Chris form demanding an explanation.
Why is the book wet Mr Emeka? Do you have to wet it to prove your point that it is actually about the crocodile?
No Chris, how can you say that. My artificial Rose and her glorious Gloria did this. You remember the whole story na. I am just so tired of my life now. I was just so weak when she brought in the wet book this morning.
But how come your ex wife has the key to your house? You are still divorced right?
Yea we are. She made a duplicate of my keys. I can't believe I stayed married to that woman for 25years. Will change my lock today.
You better do! Now it's the letter of sponsorship with you?
Of course! How can I forget it. It's sealed in my briefcase.
Hand it over and let's roll to the board room. Our sponsors awaits us.
Opening the door to a board room which revealed brilliant faces of two gentlemen and a lady, and without much introduction, Chris was so much in a haste to hand over the book and get down to the figures.
Showing his very short teeth he said; this is the crocodile. Am sorry the book is wet but as the tittle suggests, it wanted a swim. And this is the only printed copy for now as a sample. Smiling hard and acting too friendly was something Chris usually did when it came to contracts and figures. He looked like a smiling snake. There's always a reason for a smile on that face.
Mr Val, here is the letter of sponsorship. He added. Handling it to him and smiling harder. You can go through it now.
Okay I will. As he opened the letter to read it silently, Chris gave Emeka a look that said 'it better be good' and he smiled back, because it was damn good. Or so he thought.
What on earth is this Mr Chris? Staring at the letter. Is this a letter of sponsorship or a pet poem?
I don't understand, Chris managed to say.
Okay let me read it aloud. Val suggested with a frown.
Dear daddy, mummy doesn't know that I did this, she only took the book. Well I want to read you a poem I wrote. You see daddy, I am becoming like you; a good writer. Here it goes:
Catie Catie Catie.
Come drink daddy's milk,
Piss in it so he will get sick,
And come home to mummy
For her to nurse him.
And then, we will be the happiest family ever.
What the hell. Was what Emeka manage to say. How did that thing get into my briefcase? He snatched the letter form him and read through it quickly. Oh mine, oh mine, signing and leaning on a chair, I asked how did this get into my briefcase! He screamed.
Are you asking me Mr Emeka? Or are you asking Mr Val who just read a pet poem? Chris asked. And for the first time, it's like Emeka just heard his voice.
I can see you guys are not serious. First I get a wet crocodile book, And now am getting a pet poem for a letter. When you are actually ready to do business, let me know; I am out of here. With that Mr Val leaves with his crew.
Emeka if you do not change that lock in your house today, our partnership will end. I cannot continue to deal with your family's mess!
As Chris walked away, Emeka thought of who he will kill first. Rose, or his daughter.
© 2020 Jade George Anibor