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My Private Global War, Part Five

Mike is a long-time supporter of procrastination and enjoys doing as often as he can.


Where it gets strange

This is the part of the story where it gets strange, and yeah, I know it’s already weird, but wait, it can get stranger, don’t you worry. I’m going to talk about a few things that the general public might not know. For many people that day, they saw what became known as The Deer-Apocalypse, the day the deer tried to end humanity, but there’s more to the story…… much, much more. A member of our team was front and center for the first wave, where he lost his entire community, but more on him later.

The soldiers guarding me, let me get dressed in the bathroom. I came out and found they had turned on the television watching the local news. I wanted to say, “yeah, just go ahead and make yourselves at home” when I saw the story. About an hour ago, a wave of deer launched a massive assault on small towns throughout the north from Maine to Washington state. Aerial shots of waves of deer moving like water or flocks of birds running people down and flowing into towns. The newscaster talked about the national guard being called out along with a warning to people to say inside and don’t go out shooting. To underscore this, they showed men in deer blinds shooting into the herd until their blinds are knocked down and the hunters killed.


The Herd

With my watchers watching the TV, I stepped out thinking I would find a base in turmoil preparing for war, what I found was a profound silence. Men and women were watching any screen for signs of their hometowns and loved ones. The BBC was showing a video of deer rolling through the UK countryside mowing people down while Aljazeera showed a deer herd of about twenty million deer going from southeastern Germany on its way east. I made my way to Goody’s lab, where I found him watching satellite shots of a massive deer herd going across China. He switched to deer crossing into North Korea, running into landmines. It appeared that some mines exploded before the deer were near them. Goody cleared the image and said the news had it wrong. In front of the wave of deer was a wave of rabbits. The rabbits were cannon fodder for the mines. He switched to an airport in Canada covered in Canada Geese.

A voice came up from behind us, saying how the airports are all closed. We turned around and saw the general. He was out of uniform wearing almost the same outfit they gave me. He gave Goody a code to access the classified video from a cockpit of a jet as it tried to take off. I say tried because geese assaulted it. Tower video showed this happening to any plane as they tried. He said the President ordered the military to go out and deal with the deer, but they were ordered to keep working. A sergeant came into the room and whispered to the general. He looked at the sergeant then ordered Goody to bring up the cameras just outside the gate. The rows of corn were gone, trampled down by what had to be thousands of deer. They just stood there as if they were taking stock of the base or waiting for orders.


Light the Fence

The general ordered the amperage on the fence turned up. Goody started to say that’s not how it works, but the look in the general’s eyes told him to shut up. The general turned to me and handed me his sidearm a SIG Sauer M18. He was one of the first to get the new gun. He told me to get Diana and take her to the airfield. They would put as many people on the rooftops to keep the geese away while we evacuate. He turned to the sergeant and in an authoritative tone, ordered all non-military personnel to be evacuated from the base. I didn’t have any pockets, and I wasn’t going to put the gun in the top of my sweatpants, I’m dumb but not stupid, so I carried the gun holding the slide rather than the grip like a hammer.

I found Diana downloading her files into what looked like a plastic suitcase with a port on the side. She turned to me and said, “five more minutes.” I said something I don’t remember what, so let’s say it was something smooth and or slick because I’m cool……... OK, I said something stupid and just maybe a little cowardly, but she didn’t seem to notice. An airman came into the room, and Diana asked about her telescope. The airman said there was no way they could take it, but they would secure it in the bunker. Four minutes later, Diana unplugged the case and said she was ready to go. On the way out, she told me I was holding the gun wrong. I said, “I don’t want to shoot my dick off.” She replied, “are you sure you could hit such a small target.” She smiled and kissed me, whispering, “Sorry, but you made that just too easy.”

Striking the Fence

We stepped out, and the mauling herd stopped as if they were looking for Diana. A sharp electrical sound came from the fence. Something small was striking the electrified fence, and with every shot, the lights dimmed. We ran for the airfield finding those big Blackhawk helicopters waiting for us. Along with the Blackhawks were a couple of Boeing CH-47 Chinooks. You know the large ones with the double rotors and a ramp in the back, and three Apache helicopters. One of the Chinooks acted like a mobile command center for a drone army that was going to fly with us. Diana and I got into a Blackhawk along with Goody and a few other people I hadn’t met yet. Over the radio, an order to evacuate with the civilians. We waited for him. Ten minutes later, five men came around the corner, almost dragging the general with them.

The air seemed to shift before the rotors started. The soldiers on the rooftops opened fire, and geese began to fall from the sky. To the west, either the deer or the rabbits found the landmines we didn’t have because that would be wrong, and the fur started to fly. The lights surged as deer pushed against the fence. A few of the deer seemed to explode, and the fence gave way. The deer swarmed in as we took off. The general ordered the doors open, and along with the crew, he opened fire on the surging deer. Four or five slick black drones flew past us, sweeping the skies of geese. Within twenty minutes, the deer owned the base. Another of the Blackhawks picked up the soldiers off the rooftops, and we were off to the northeast. The general said we were going to Wright-Patterson Airforce base in Ohio. He said the base was able to hold their own against the deer and was secure enough for Diana to continue her work.

Drone the Way

The drones, along with the Apache, kept the skies clear of geese. We would have to land and refuel at a nearby airport. The Apache would clear the runway and take turns flying overhead and refueling while we landed and refueled. The drones would fly until they ran out. The small airport was covered in the bodies of deer and people. Mixed in the carnage were the bodies of geese, rabbits, and squirrels. We refueled and took off just as a wave of deer approached. One of the Apache couldn’t refuel, but the pilot said they should make it on what they had. The pilot fired a Hellfire missile striking the refueling station taking most of the airport as well as many of the charging deer in a fireball that was so big it left a mushroom cloud overhead.

The geese assault increased the further north we went. One by one, we lost our drones until the last one went down into the Ohio River near Cincinnati. The operators were able to take control of some more drones from the airbase. Word came out over the radio that the Apache that couldn’t refuel was out and landing in The Red’s Great American Ball Park stadium. They would do their best to make it to Wright-Patterson. They landed, and we watched as they were overrun, not by animals but by people wanting someone to blame. We left them to their fate, knowing we owed our lives to them. Diana put her arms around me and buried her face into the nape of my neck, crying. Goody later told me it was the first time our fake relationship looked real not long after we made it to the base.


My Cell

When we touched down, they took Goody and Diana away while I was taken to a jail cell. I was told that until they could learn more about me, I was a security risk and would remain in the cell. Next to my cell was a reporter for some newspaper in Dayton, whose name I don’t remember. He had tried entering the base for more information on UFOs. Yeah, UFOs. I told him about the deer, and he didn’t believe me saying he thought I was a plant working for Big Brother to learn everything he knows. I would say that ended the conversation, but he wouldn’t shut up. He talked about the one-world government, Illuminati, Masons, and something about lizard people in the highest parts of our government. I closed my eyes, and he screamed. I was hibernating because the cells were cold. I did my best mix of Cobra Commander from the GI-Joe cartoon lisp mixed with Hannibal from The Silence of the lambs saying, “and I’ll eat the eyes right out of your head with a Pinot Noir.” That shut him up.

He remained silent for about an hour until something crossed his mind, and he started to sing…… out loud. He began with some music I don’t know then what I think is Lady Gaga as well as some other music, all of which was off tune. I just wished they had left the gun with me. After a few hours or was it a few days, the door opened, and two airmen pulled me out by my arms and almost carried me down a hallway. I remember I didn’t care if I was going to that me-shaped hole just if it meant I didn’t have to hear any more singing. Instead, they brought me to the general. It comes to my mind right now that I never said the general’s name, and I swear to god this is his name. Major General Jessie James Jackson. His father’s name was James, and his mother’s name was Jessica, with no connection to the famous outlaw unless he spent some time in Jamaica. His men called him The General even when he’s not around. The General was the highest-ranked officer on the base with the base commander missing and presumed dead.

Do I Stay or do I Go?

The general stood by a window staring out at all the activity on the base. He didn’t turn as they tossed into the room. He said, “my grandfather fought in the battle of the bulge, my father was in Saigon during the Tet offensive, and I don’t care what people say we won that battle. Then there was me; I lost my post to a herd of deer. A herd of deer.” I almost said, and rabbits but something in the back of my head told me to shut up. Thank you, voice in my head. He turned back to me with a smile that didn’t quite look real. He said I was free to go, or I could stay and help Diana with anything she needs. He also said, “we know your relationship with her was a crock she made up to save your life. With all that’s happening, we’re going to let that slide. Too many people died today. So, will you stay?”

  • My Private Global War, Part Three
    The Military, Deer, Robot Deer and a Coyote. Bill finds himself getting deeper into the events that could end the world.
  • My Private Global War, Part Two
    Bill starts to talk about the events that led up to him being trapped underground at what might be the end of the world.
  • My Private Global War, Part One
    A man trapped in a room below ground recounts his past, and the events that brought him to where he is and his part in either saving or destroying the world.

© 2019 Michael Collins aka Lakemoron

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