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My Private Global War, Part Sixteen

Mike is a long-time supporter of procrastination and enjoys doing as often as he can.

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Senator General Nathanael Everette Boone

Ten years ago, General Nathanael Everette Boone stepped out of the race for the presidency after an aid came out, saying he had sexually assaulted her while they served in Kuwaiti. She gave explicit details on how he forced her to see him while his wife was back in Kentucky with their children. Her accusations went away just as soon as he dropped out, and two years later, she told a newspaper she made the whole thing up to keep him out of office. She had said her reputation was worth loosing if it prevented a warmongering crazy man away from the nuclear weapons. Boone was a favorite son of Kentucky and won a seat in the Senate, one that he kept up until the world ended. In the science, technology, and military world, Boone was a player and the man you need to know if you want government funding. This was where Diana had met him.



There is this reoccurring joke about how villains will monologue about their plans to the hero. They give great details about how they plan to take over the world and how to stop them. This sounds crazy, but crazy is thinking you can survive and win a war with an advance species, so I guess we’re all crazy now. OK, I’m getting ahead of myself again. The pseudo soldiers took us from the shop to a windowless van. Inside we got matching pillowcases over the head just like in the movies or on TV. We went only about a mile or so until the van came to a halt, and we could hear a gate being opened. Judging by the amount of time we drove, we were back at that strange palisade. The doors opened, and we were separated.

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Prisoner P225697

Diana was taken to an office where they stood by watching her offering her coffee and other niceties, while there was no coffee for me. I was taken into a large shower room. They strip-searched, and yes, probed for anything, I could shove up my backside. They gave me an orange jumpsuit with "prisoner" on the back and a number on the front, P225697. They took my picture, fingerprints, and samples of my DNA. From there, they tossed me, and yes, tossed is accurate into a windowless cell with a toilet, a sink, and nothing else. During this time, they didn't ask any questions. During the search, a liquid was dumped down my throat, and it turned out to be a super laxative, so guess how I spent the next four hours. Think that scene from Bridesmaids; you know the bathroom scene.


Diana told me what happened to her, along with what she learned. The office was straight out of a movie set of a big game hunters office with large-bore rifles and the heads of various large animals on the walls. This included the head of a white tiger and two elephant tusks. They gave her a cup of coffee in a fine china cup with just the right amount of cream like they knew how she liked to drink her coffee. A door opened, and a man in a white Nehru jacket and matching pants came inside. She said he looked Indian like an Indian George Clooney dark and handsome. His name was Sagan Anand, and he was the body man to the President. He told her the President was on another mission, but when he got back, he would see to her. In the meantime, she was to be afforded all the luxuries of her status.

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A Gilded Cage

Anand brought her to what she described as a gilded cage. A room filled with antiques and silks with bars on the windows. Anand left, and three women came in. One was in a flowing white gown, and the other two were in bathing suits. They brought her into a bathroom, gently stripped and bathed her in rose-scented water using a rose-scented soap. From there, she was dressed in a similar white silk Saree with gold trim. She couldn’t get past all the Indian-style trappings. She said she felt like she was in another country. She was brought back to her cage and sat there, waiting for about an hour before a call came. She was told the President would see her in the morning. The woman in white and two new servants went into the room and changed her clothes to a nightgown and put her into bed. One of them gave her a small shot of something that smelled like gin. She shot it down and was asleep within minutes. About the time she was sleeping between silk sheets, I was emptied and lying on a cold concrete floor.


I don’t know just how much time had passed. The jail had no windows, only florescent lights, and of course, no clocks. They picked me up and tossed me back into the shower room, hosed me down, and took me back to my cell. I was hungry with severe pains in my gut from hours of intense diarrhea. The servants woke, bathed, and dressed Diana in the same fashion as before. They led her into a large dining room decorated in a French baroque style as if she went from India right into the French palace at Versailles. The walls were lined with men dressed in black Nehru jackets. Sagan Anand stood at one end. A woman led Diana to her side of the table. In the seat at the head of the table was a man she knew all too well. Senator Nathanael Everette Boone. They were both dressed in Indian cultural appropriation while surrounded by fine French trappings, and they ate what could be best described as an English breakfast with blood sausage, canned beans, and some ham bacon. She drank a jasmine tea while he drank something alcoholic. She said the smell of whatever it was filled the room.

While traditionally made from mare's milk Kumis is also made from other animals such as camels and Yaks

While traditionally made from mare's milk Kumis is also made from other animals such as camels and Yaks

This is where She Met Crazy

They ate in silence for about an hour. Boone picked up a bell, but before he could ring it, his servants were in motion taking the food and Diana away. She found herself back in the office. Boone walked in, and out of reflex, Diana stood up. He smiled as if he was happy to see she stood in his presence. He sat down, and she did the same. He said, “my dear, I’m glad to see you’re alright.” Diana didn’t know what to say. He smiled and said, “it was foretold that you would find us, and together we would rule the world. You as my seer and me as their God.” She said he smiled again and poured a glass of that strange alcoholic smelling stuff and drank it, not offering any to her. It was a fermented yak’s milk called Kumis. This is where she met crazy.

© 2019 Michael Collins aka Lakemoron