Skip to main content

My Private Global War, Part Three

Mike is a long-time supporter of procrastination and enjoys doing as often as he can.


Out of the Closet

The man on the other side of the door was Major James Tanner. He said something to Diana. To put this into perspective, it had been a very long time since I had kissed a woman or in this case, was kissed by one. Tanner looked at me than her with this smile that was far from pleasant. She put her finger on his chest and repeated something. He put his hands up. Tanner walked over to the door. He said, “just stay in here and zip up your fly.” He closed the door, and I heard them walk away. I checked, and yes, my fly was open. Somehow in her kiss, she had opened my pants, and I didn’t notice. I went from being something you bury in the cornfield to a booty call. There were sounds outside of the closet of people moving a lot of stuff.


I’m not a science guy

Twenty minutes went by, and nothing was said to me. Diana came back to the door and opened it. She said, “it's ok to come out of the closet………...” She smiled. She has a sweet smile. I walked out to find her telescope was gone. She said something science that went over my head about how her specialized telescope was the only one that could see what was coming. What do you want, I deliver packages for a living, I’m not a science guy? She asked me if I would stay there and answer the phone. I said something I don’t remember. It was something about my car, but I don’t think she was listening. She kissed me again and the next thing I remembered I was sitting in front of a phone at a desk in the open office.

Mad Skills

An hour went by without a call or sound. When the phone finally rang, I nearly jumped out of my seat. It was Diana wanting to know if anyone called or came around. I said no, and she said she would be back soon. The sun started to set, and I had to do something about work the next day. With no car, I had no way to do my job. They killed my phone as well as my car leaving me without the phone number. It wouldn’t be fair to my employer for me to not call, so I did my best to find the number. A computer was left on a desk next to mine, and it was open. After a few fruitless searches, I found the number. I picked up the phone, and there was no dial tone. The system required passcode to make calls out. I was out of luck. Using the computer and my mad search skills, I found out about Diana.

Young for her Age

Doctor Diana Amelia Herman was an astrophysicist with three PhDs in parts of science that were all Greek to me. I was surprised to see she was thirty. Diana looked far younger but had a pedigree of someone far older than her…… well…... age. She reminded me of Natalie Portman just a little taller and slightly curvier. It felt strange to sexualize someone so smart or just maybe because Diana looks so young, and that makes me feel purvey. The first kiss was to save my life, but why did she kiss me again? I wondered was it wrong to think about her. I have this tell. My face turns red when someone I am attracted to is around or, I don’t know. My mind wandered to the closet and where my hands could have been. I daydreamed about what could have been.


Food on my Mind

The clock on the computer said it was nine at night, and I had no way to get home. I had no way to call out, and I was getting hungry. It’s funny to think that a few hours ago, I was staring at a man digging the hole I was going to be buried in, but a few hours later, all I can think about was food. A set of headlights appeared just outside the door, coming down the driveway. My first thought was they came back to fill that hole with me. My second thought was, let this be my way home. I was wrong on both. Diana knew there was no food in her office, so she ordered me a pizza, half pepperoni, and half plain. She also sent a couple of bottles of soda, both regular and diet, which is what I drink. I have never had this company’s pizza before, but it was good.

Make Myself at Home

About midnight, Diana called, saying she would be back in the morning. She had a couch in her office on the other side of the observatory, and I should make myself at home. I walked into the now empty observatory and found that with the doors open, a couple of deer had let themselves inside. They looked at me then at the door. I walked over to the door, staying away from the deer despite all that Bambi propaganda deer can mess you up. One hundred to one hundred and fifty pounds of frightened, angry deer would leave an impression on you and your face. About sixty yards away from the open door were a couple of mangy looking coyotes. I picked up a large wrench near the door and struck the door, and the frame echoing a metallic threat. I yelled, “get the fuck away,” at the dog-like animals that could have easily found me tasty. Just as soon as they were gone, my thoughts went back to the deer, and why didn’t the noise scare them. Why didn’t I just let the coyotes eat them?


Robot Deer

Another of the deer walked out of a storage room in the back. This deer was different from the others. It had a strange skip or limp. Yes, it had a comparable mechanical quality to it, like an animatronic character. It looked up at me. One eye was gone, and the other looked like glass. The three deer looked to each other, then to me. As I’m sure, you all know now that we found out that half of all deer, rabbit, squirrels, and Canada Geese were a part of the invasion. A male deer with three or four points walked up to me and stood in front of me while the other deer walked around the empty room. The buck didn’t have that live smell. There is this sense you get around living things you don’t get from mechanical things. These deer were fake. The doe came back to the broken deer, and the two met with the buck who just stared at me. It looked to the door then back to me in a, “open the door” look. I opened the door, and they went into the night. My guess is they came looking for that fancy telescope thingy.

The Cloud

Something felt wrong about the whole thing, so even though there were coyotes outside as well as robot deer, I stepped out and looked up. A low dark cloud was over the building. The cloud had a pyramid shape to it. I walked about one hundred feet away from the building and turned around. As I did, the power went out in the building. I felt this presence next to me. I looked down and saw the coyote. It was standing next to me about ten feet away, staring at the building. The air went still. There was this scent of ozone in the air like a giant electric thing was starting. The coyote looked at me, and I swear it was like it said, “if I were you, I’d run.” It turned and ran away. I turned around just in time to see sparks coming off the building, then it flattened into the ground, a twenty-five-foot-tall building crushed like a soda can. Right after it did, the cloud dissipated like it was never there.

A Puddle of Deer

I turned around and saw the wounded deer off in the distance hobbling its way through the cornfield. 90 to 95% of me said to stay put while whatever was left said follow. I never had that commonsense thing, so I went after the fake deer. I kept my distance and let it lead me to a windbreak. A place where farmers grow trees to lessen the effect the wind had on their fields. Inside the grove of trees, something moved. A deer-size ship came up from the ground. It flew over the deer, shining a light in a sort of scan. When it was done, the deer fell apart, no it disintegrated right there all at once like a time-lapse video taken over years or something. I jumped down just as it hit the ground, so I couldn’t see what it was doing. When I did look, the drone deer melting thing was gone, and all that was left was a puddle of deer.

Just Crazy

The wind picked back up, and so on; it was like nothing happened. Now I don’t want to get people mad or make this conspiracy theory thing, but this all happened as I said about six months ago before the events of June 10th. People knew something was coming a full three days before all hell broke loose. I sat next to the flattened building until the sun came up. From there, I walked or started to walk back to Medina. I didn’t know what I was going to do. My job was most likely gone, as well as my car, and I knew something important, but I had no way to tell people without looking crazy. I felt mad. The whole thing was just crazy. I made it to one of the many walking paths in Medina when a black SUV approached me and followed me onto the trail. Side note, if you like the outdoors and it survived the war, I would highly recommend moving to Medina.

© 2019 Michael Collins aka Lakemoron

Related Articles