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Monsters Inside Me, Part 4

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Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink, or use drugs when stressed; I write.

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We all need redemption, and everyone has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Living in an imperfect world means trials to struggle with temptations. To get guidance, the Bible is a source of direction for understanding. Demario needs restoration because he gave in to temptation and gave a party that results in ruining his reputation. Now it is built upon gossip and rumors. Today is the day of redemption. A chance for Demario to save himself from evildoing. Though a righteous man falls seven times, blessings come from going through the battle, enduring the storm, and walking through the darkest valley.

Demario is giving a retreat as a day of redemption. He begins by sharing his childhood dramas and how he is a survivor of severe abuse. Demario continued to share he works hard to recover to become the man he is today. Demario explained we all have made mistakes, fell short at one point or another in life as nobody perfect. I know that I’m not faultless in any way, but my finance, Destiny, and I together are on the front lines of my childhood cancer so, I will continue my journey to emotional healing.

At thirteen, the doctors diagnosed me with post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, from multiple traumatic experiences in my life. My mother was a woman who chooses an acting career over me so. I rarely saw her. She traveled a lot, and the nanny raised me. The nanny abused me. She told me on a regular that I was not worth the space I took up. I felt shame that I was not who she expects me to be. She locked me in the basement for most of the day on a regular without food, and when she finally came to get me, she would say to me, you not worth the walk to retrieve.

Demario grew up feeling lonely, out of control, and irritated most of the time. The anger he felt was powerful. It was so dominant that it made him think he had no discipline in his life. And because he had no self-control, he was afraid that it would lock him in an empty life, friendless, loveless, joyless. Demario had no social skills so, no one in school wants to become his friend, and the girls did not like him romantically, and he wondered, is it because they saw the worst parts of him? His fragility, all the anger inside, and a shallow, sad boy who deserves what he got. Demario felt like a time bomb, and as if everything he experiences was something he brought upon himself. He became tired and perceived he needs a change of life. How does he take back his life and gain self-control?

Many people spend a great deal of effort trying to avoid changing, but at seventeen, Demario grasped it was time to seek improvement, to rid himself of emotional and wicked behavior. In changing his reality, he focuses his attention on willpower, a desire to change, and cooperate with an ongoing struggle for a better him. After deciding to begin a healing journey, it is continuing so; he set goals for himself.

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Developing goals for recovery are significant, and the unique needs of an individual matter, mainly because it can help you through the healing process. It can assist with staying focused on the goal, not on the obstacles for life to be different. Demario desire interests, stuff that brought about joy, and events that gave him motivation. No one thing creates a change, the road to recovery has many components. Demario adopts the things that improve his life. To enhance his life and ensure it possible, he had to track his goals and remind himself of the things he wants to accomplish to increase the likelihood of his life stay well.

Since his past comprises a lot of trial and error, taking care of himself is paramount to recovery. To ensure he recover physically, spiritually, and emotionally, he needs to rid himself of the primary cause, the nanny that issues his stress threateningly. Demario needed to spend time with loving people that care about him the way he cares about them. Someone who can ease stress helps his mood and improves the way he thinks overall.

Demario thought his life would change for the best if he connects with his mother’s world. He did commercials and begins acting at eighteen. His mother introduces him to a world that was not part of his best interest. The only thing good about it was he met Emily. She was his first love. Emily is the first woman who assists him to rise above his troubles, and she enables him to route to a better person.

After three years, the doctors diagnosed Emily with kidney failure, and she needed a transplant to live. Demario searched long and hard to find one. She had the transplant where it seems as if she had a long, promising life. A month later, her body rejects the kidney, and she dies in three days. She brought love into his world to show him how to live a valid life. Demario struggled to maintain.

Demario's mind is working against him after Emily’s death. He turns to the wrong people for support. He even reminisces back to when he was a dreamer, with big ideas and ridiculous plans, that he could not make a reality until Emily helps him to believe in himself. After making mistakes that were a setback, he sits in his house and tries to imagine what his life would be like to have Emily still here with him. He thought that would make him feel better, alternatively imagining this seemed too hard. Demario felt as if life was against him.

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The moral of the story Demario is sharing, his life was a mess when he meets his fiancé, Destiny. She assists him in getting back on track. Now, he understands the benefits of an individualized treatment plan. It treats every aspect of his habit, physical, mental, social, and spiritual, to help him make a wise decision where he does not need a person like a crutch. So, he can stand if something shakes his world where the support not there. The disturbance will open his eyes and will not change his world where his life does not get better.

Life can become overwhelming, but Demario needs to learn not to punish himself when he falls back into old habits. Although situations can cause stress, he must not be his own greatest critics. When things seem to be too much, he should take small steps in the right direction to continue moving on.

Demario ends the retreat with it been a privilege to be present with an opportunity to share my life story on how my childhood upbringing took an enormous toll on my life. He calls the retreat, ‘Don’t judge until all the facts right' because people find fault before they perceive all the information. Again. He speaks. Before you criticize, get your facts straight. You never know what struggles a person is battling and how your judgment can push them over the edge. Throwing stones does not help. It is only something a person can tumble over. When you see someone with a contrary character, why not turn inwards and examine yourself? You cannot change what a person does, but you can adjust how you respond to it.

Demario was closing out the retreat when Dolly walks in wearing a dense coat. It stood out and caught everyone’s attention. One cannot help but wonder what is under it. You can bet it is safe to consume that wearing the coat is not just to keep warm. The look on her face shows something is lurking just beyond the shadowy entrance. Dolly is holding a grudge against Demario. She cannot see by bottling up angry emotions with a grudge, and harboring resentment is no justice at all. Expressing anger can take a toll on a person’s physical health because it is a poison to the soul.

Over a life span, someone’s words or actions will hurt you. But, if you let go, find peace, show mercy to the one who wrongs you. You discovered the known secret to happiness.

Dolly walks up to Demario and opens the coat, and everybody in the room screamed out loud. She is close to Demario, and Destiny stands up. What is in her coat? Does she have any intention to harm Demario? How will this affect destiny? How can Dolly change her attitude to make it empower? Can Dolly change her feelings toward Demario? I will reveal the answer to all questions on Monsters Inside Me, Part 5.

© 2021 Pam Morris

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