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A full-metal heart '_Inaudible sounds. I woke up. My body was sore somewhat. I remembered the events that happened before I passed out. I looked around but it was dark. Suddenly the silhouette materialized outta nowhere and spoke ' Finally awake, are we? It's time you learned some things.'
'So there's this boy who's life was distressed. One day after some extreme dissatisfaction, he found his way to limbo, a realm of stasis where time itself is static. Why do you think he did that?'
' I don't know, maybe he wants to figure things himself. Or to look for answers. ' I answered.
'WRONG... He wanted to escape the reality. He's a coward!'
'So there's this boy who thought it's fine whatever happens to him as long it doesn't bother others, he would kill the will many times, he would just keep to himself in his secluded hollow life. Why do you think he did that?'
' He doesn't want to be a burden on others, he can bear everything on his own if it's related to him and he would minimize his feelings if it involves many people.' I spoke.
'WRONG again. He is twisted in his way of thinking.This is not the way of living. He is a coward!!'
'What's this all about?' I thought.
'So there's this boy who feared and felt many things but kept to himself, he shut himself emotionally. Why did you think he did that?'
' I guess he was afraid.. of being rejected, that his feelings will be invalidated.. Under the facade he's only human just like everyone else. He is afraid to admit that.' I replied.
'CORRECT. That's how it is and will always be. It's human to feel like this.'
The temperature dropped gradually; I realized as a puff of cloud smoke billowed out of my mouth.The atmosphere felt heavy. My eyes were comfortable in the dark now. It was a crypt like structure I was in. The silhouette came so close to me that I could hear it breathing. It had mystic shiny eyes looking deep into mine. It was menacing.
'Oh you poor soul. All this time, all the things you experience, the people you met, it was you all along. This is your world. How could you not see this?
Every thing you encountered and everything you said, it was you. That hanging child, the spider, those brothers, they were your own creation.That girl is a personification of certain someone. You have been distressed because of that thing which befell upon you and changed your life. To seek comfort you ended up creating a world within you. The things which you have been seeking are there inside you all the time.
Do you even realize that I am your conscience? I am your subconscious. I have been with you since the very first you came here, observing from distance.
Know that I am always observing your actions. I stand on the side lines and watch every thing that happens to you. You need to know that you shouldn't hate yourself, you gotta love yourself, cause there are many who’ll hate you. You have been bestowed by many skills that others would kill to have. You have been blessed with so many things and people, you just need to connect to them. Instead of acting on your own. Your life is special, because you are unique in your own way, ups and downs are part of lives, by having so many good things, don't let one bad thing ruin your image.
You can turn to many people in your life. You have her, she cares for you, don't let her go, and all others who actually give a damn about you.'
Saying all this, the silhouette and the whole of the crypt crystallized to ice.
I was dumbstruck at all this. This was too much to bear. I tried to make sense of all the things. Before the crystals could get to my feet, I ran away. Somehow I suddenly knew what to do.
' My life has been a life in a fast lane, I have experienced so much, learnt so much, my life has a presence, it can be an impact on many things, I shouldn't be wasting my time here in Limbo anymore '
I climbed back the cliff, she was there waiting for me, sitting by the tree, it made me feel less alone in this empty world.
'Finally you are back to your actual self. Did you find what you seek?'
'Yup, I have found the answers and have realized many things, and it's time I go back and face the real life, the life I ran away from. The realization that the plot of my life didn't make sense to me anymore—that although I thought I was following the arc of the story, I kept finding myself immersed in passages I didn't understand, that didn't even seem to belong in the same genre—which required me to go back and reread the chapters I had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along I was supposed to choose my own adventure.'
' Your own adventure.. you finally understand that everything begins with you, only you can choose the routes to the progression of your life. Kind people will help you along your way. You just need to reach out to them.' she smiled.
Yes, and sometimes you need a push from your own self to live on another day. I thought as I looked back one more time at the Limbo. Till next time.
' _I will never disappear. For forever I'll be here. Whispering.._ ' Words echoed in the limbo as I went outside.
© 2020 Osman Ghazi