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Limbo Part 2

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_"May you find what you seek.."_

_That thing always says this, and every time I wonder, 'do I even find what I seek? And what exactly have I been seeking? Coming here time and time again only to leave empty handed,' I lost sight of my wish._

I looked up but I couldn't see the sky, it was pitch black, the trees looked like they were being sucked up into the abyss,
" caw, caw, caw "
Hearing crows at some distance I moved towards the noise; a corpse hanging from a tree, crows feasting on it.
"Suicide, Huh? Well that's unfortunate."
Something was written on the tree bark, "you kill yourself all the time, is it worth it?"
'Is it worth it?' A voice said, sending chills down my spine. I looked up, the corpse stared at me with dead eyes.
'Tell me, is it okay to kill yourself, Mortal?'
'Not so sure about it myself' I replied. 'In what context are you asking? Did you write this and hang yourself?'

The corpse looked puzzled at the counter questions.
It started speaking, 'Yes I wrote this before I killed myself.
I am asking about your own-self. The sacrifices you make for others, bringing your feelings and emotions to the altar, and even your life to please their measly existence, is it worth it? '

' Well, i guess it depends on the people, if they matter enough. So, you killed yourself for others? Then why are you still alive and speaking? Was it not worth it for you?' I felt sad for the corpse.

' Yes, I killed myself, every single time for others, my own feelings and emotions and in the end I died for them, for the ones I loved. But I didn't find salvation, the regret of not living for myself, not speaking for myself, suppressing myself so that I don't become a burden, this regret has become a curse, keeping me conscious. Every second passed I lived in agony, even in death.'

'I will take your burden and the regrets you hold, you finally spoke for yourself with the emotions and feelings you did not hide, you can now rest in peace knowing that the way you chose in life may not be the right way, but, it was your way. You did your best.'

I saw a faint glimmer of light around the corpse as it was being redeemed.
Silence. Dead Calm.
I moved away from there, going forward I came across a lake. It was huge, water everywhere. At the end of the pier, I could see a boat and the same silhouette I saw before. I walked towards the boat and boarded it. 'Did you see the corpse's face, Ashen One? It spoke.'
I nodded in no as I started rowing the boat. The land was slowly fading in the distance.

"How could you not recognize yourself hanging there, eh eh eh" It laughed.


© 2020 Osman Ghazi

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