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Limbo Part 03

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_“All those who wander in the darkness seek the light, but when they reach the light, they turn away their eyes from the blinding glare.”_

Will it ever end? How much further till I see the land.
I am exhausted, unable to row more. The visibility isn't great thanks to the mist around me. I closed my eyes, let's rest for a while.

' I don't feel emotionally connected to you, you don't act like you're supposed to do, do you even feel the gravity of the situation, did you think for once how i feel right now, can you understand the pain, say something now, all you ever do is giving logic for everything, why are you poker face now, I am asking you, a voice said. Yes you're totally right, he's too abrupt, we never asked for a solution, just some emotional support. How can you stay calm like this, don't you feel anything? Another voice said. Then there was bombardment of remarks, different voices same stuff. '

' Yes i can't provide emotional support which is required of me, but I still want to hold those tiny threads that keep us connected. I feel things too, but the way out of any situation, my brain just starts thinking about it, and instead of consoling I try to normalize the situation. If I also get emotional and react like others, who's there to link the broken vessels together, who's there to say that it will be alright, and get things going. I don't want to be a nuisance and add to the problems people have on the calendar. So just let me be. A voice reasoned. '

Bump. Ding Dong Ding Dong..
Sudden jerk woke me up. Again. These thoughts haunt me, I wish they end.
I hear bell tolling somewhere close. I see a hazy light not far from here, Its a light house. Finally, i can get away from this dead lake, one last push. I rowed again, reached the pier, i get off and start walking. At the end of pier, there's the silhouette again. I wondered why it's always there. As usual, i went past it, ignoring it completely.

"For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee, eh eh eh" it mumbled.


© 2020 Osman Ghazi

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