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How a Gummy Bear Can Light Up My Life

Miel is a licensed teacher, a "Jane-of-all-trades" master of none, with a passion for writing.

Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash

Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash

Your smile reminds me of the sweetness of gummy bears at the same time the softness of crepes.

I love looking at your face. And your good looks aren’t the only reasons why.

Every time I look into your face, I am brought back to happy memories of my childhood. And at the same time, it carries me to a future filled with faith that the struggles will help me make it through to my destination.

It’s the same face I adored so much a long time ago in one of the chapters in my life book. After all these years, I still do.

Isn’t it inexplicable? You were never part of my early years. Yet, the innocence of your eyes never fails to bring me back to those carefree, trustful, and forgiving days of my childhood.

Photo by arpa sarian on Unsplash

Photo by arpa sarian on Unsplash

Life is short, and no one knows what the future holds. Still, your pure smile by some means comforts me that I’m going to the right direction one step at a time.

The past

I remembered those sleepless nights crying and asking God to answer my prayer. I was desperate for happiness. And I was sure that you’re the person who can grant me that.

I recalled imploring God to stop you from your decision. Then, it dawned to me that I’m not the one for you either. For sure, only God can suffice what your soul and spirit need. More so, gorgeous girls lined up waiting to get a glimpse of your attention.

No one knew of that emotional struggle inside of me. How can I not love you who seem to be the only person who can altogether recognize my efforts, my nightmares, my visions, my life? Hitherto, all I wanted was for you to accomplish your purpose. I was happy to be a passive onlooker secretly admiring the man of my dreams.

I cried because my desperation stamped deeper that I will never find someone like you in my life anymore. There goes my happiness. It didn’t even slip off my hands. It’s because, in the first place, you were never mine.

Whenever I look into your eyes, they remind me that despite the distress, ordeal, and battles in the past, I should never forget those jovial and cloud nine encounters that still made me play, dream, dance, and laugh like a child. It’s those eyes that made me want to see your face every day to remind me that there’s always something bright to remember in everything.

The gifts - The Keys

The gifts - The Keys

The keys

You always discern the perfect gifts to present to me. I seized the chance to open the doors yet. In God’s time (and I’m sure soon), these entries and more will present right in front of me. And because I have the keys you handed to me, I have faith I will have the wisdom to open the best doors for me.

I wanted to try to pass a joke to you if I could use the key to open your heart for me. But I know, it’s a nasty joke. It’s going to be something offensive and inconsiderate.

Nonetheless, thank you for your gifts. Sincerely, they are great treasures for me. I will value these keys with my life.

Photo by Arie Wubben on Unsplash

Photo by Arie Wubben on Unsplash

The future

I have gained wisdom in accepting all of these a long time ago. To let a caterpillar go and create his own cocoon so he can become the stunning butterfly he was meant to be.

I used to remark true love as the emotion for someone you are meant to end up with for the rest of your lives together. That’s why I thought of myself as a pathetic person because I could never isolate someone as my true love.

At the moment, I recognize that true love is the affection to a person without asking something in return. True love is giving away what’s most precious because you know it’s for the best. And true love’s source is God. With God, you love the person as he is, no questions asked, and no favours solicited.

Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash

Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash

I’d love to see and meet you again, I thought these past few days. Then again, I prayed to God, it’s His will be done. Nevertheless, you always play an essential role in my life that God wouldn’t want me to miss this day.

On my road to recovery from depression, your presence again carries that luminosity that will guide me in some of my steps in my rolling flight. We might not be together physically, but your prayers and sincere wishes are abundant to send me equipped with the right armour in my battle.

After the goodbyes, I still shed some tears. Even so, and much more they are tears of joy that even when I wasn’t able to secure my happiness (to have you for me), I am still and forever blessed to be your friend. My heart is filled with so much joy and gratefulness.

I am so blessed of your presence, your friendship, your prayers, and your wisdom. I am blessed because I have you as one of God’s greatest miracles in my life. And you bloomed where God planted you to be.

Thank you. Finally, I can say I am going to be okay. Thank God for you.

Prequel to Dear Gummy Bear.

Michael Bublé - Lost

© 2019 Miel Reyes

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