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Fauntleroy and Flossy – To the Victor


“Get him here, I want him to kiss my ring.” He hung up the phone. Fauntleroy had learned that one way to get people to do as you tell them is to hire them. It works at all levels. He would now get the man from Utah to shut up about him, just like he got Rafael from Texas to kneel and then make calls for his campaign.

Fauntleroy looked over his list. ‘Chaos for Transportation – how apropos,’ he thought and took another spoonful of Wheaties, The Breakfast of Champions. ‘Now, what else needs undoing?’

He sat there with a stack of three by five cards. He flipped through reading them, Social Security, Medicare, Secretary of Defense, in parentheses written Defiance, and Miss America. He tucked the last one in his lapel pocket with his gold phone. ‘When you are famous you can do that.’ He finished his breakfast. “OK, what do you have for me?” He called out.

His gold phone rang. He listened, ‘Daddy there is protesting outside the Puck Building. Can’t you put them in their place?’ It was a Model T. “Did you notice that there are fewer cabs? The cab drivers are afraid to be mistaken for Hispanics and don’t want to drive during the daytime.

His secretary stood waiting for the call to end. “Sir, you have a meeting on the Hill. P.R., insists on time with you today. He has reams of budget material he wants to share with you. Your car is waiting.”

“Get Model T and Mini T over there to the meeting, I’ll be bored to death, with someone as small as P.R. Find out who his handlers are, I want to know who I am actually talking to as well.”

“Yes, Sir.” She turned, and left the room talking on her cell with Model T.

Fauntleroy tweeted, “We’ve Only Just Begun” #TheRealFauntleroy

Connie, Fauntleroy’s blond, long legged advisor was standing there waiting when he left for the meeting. She trotted next to him, as he was walking fast. “Sir, I need a meeting before you see P.R.”

He glanced at her, wondering how she knew, as he only knew a minute ago.

“I’ll drive over with you, that will give us some time together.” She continued, “Please stop Tweeting about our disagreements. I groomed you the last weeks of your campaign. I told you what to say and how to say it, so that every time you spoke, you did not leave a bad taste in the rabble’s mouths. And it worked. Your numbers steadily improved as I went on TV and told people what you meant to say. I am sort of your unofficial translator. Now, this meeting with little P.R., just remember, he would not even speak your name throughout your victorious campaign. At first, don’t give him anything he asks. Let’s make sure it is good for your team before letting that tiny soldier march all over the place. My understanding is Model T and Mini T will attend, that’s good. And when we get in the car, please don’t grab me. It was shocking the first couple of times. Now, it is something else entirely. Do you grab the other Generals?”

His gold phone rang, “Morning Errdick. What’s on your mind?”

“I was thinking about stock in First Group who owns Greyhound. If my math is right, we are going to see 220,000 bus trips to Mexico in the first year and the stock price should do well. What do you think?”

“I’ll have Model T look at the numbers and if the two of you agree then pull the trigger. Just a small position, no more than 100,000 shares. You might look into Continental or Trailways, also.” As he hung up, the phone in his sock rang.

“Yes, Putt-Baby, how are you, comrade…” he stopped. “Putt-Baby…” He listened.

“No Rommel, I don’t want another Rommel.” The phone went dead.

“Make it hard for the man from Utah to reach me for a while.”

The car pulled up to the side entrance where they were to meet.

Fauntleroy exited the vehicle. Connie pulled out her phone and tapped into Tweeter. ‘Send Rommel back to the wilderness.’ #BadAssBlond And then, “No raw deal, Rommel, back to the sawmill.” #BadAssBlond ‘I’m made for this job,’ a smile broke her face.

At the Towers Model T and Errdick sat at a table, with a calculator. After punching in numbers, Model T said, “We may do better buying up abandoned businesses and vacated houses. Remember the money that was made buying confiscating Japanese property in California.”

Errdick sighed, "you are probably right."

Model T stopped, “Call Ruliana, and tell him to bring us a pizza.”



This is a fictionalization of a dramatization. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

All information is flagrantly blatant. Not safe for use around pets, i.e., don’t read, then kick your dog. Any reproduction, transmission or broadcast without the express written consent of the fictitious author is a total waste of your time.

Caution: Do not read while operating a motor vehicle, watercraft, or aircraft, or bathing as a risk of a crash, or drowning oneself may occur. Do not read while playing a Microsoft Xbox, Retro-Bit, Nintendo, Sony PlayStation as aggressive behavior has been witnessed in trial samplings.

By reading this, the user consents to interception, monitoring, recording, copying, inspection, and disclosure at the discretion of the fictitious author, regarding fictitious characters in fictitious settings.

The article is provided “as is” without warranties.

Crash results may vary.

Remember the time when the warning that we had to worry about, was not to bend, fold, mutilate or spindle?

If the feeling persists, consult your psychoactive artificial cannabinoid families of products: including but not limited to, Black Kush, Blaze, Bliss, Canja and Doob. This is not a recommendation of any product fictitious or real. Consult your local legal dealer for details.

If you are allergic to Fauntleroy and Flossy or any of the ingredients found in Fauntleroy and Flossy, stop reading and consult your directory of infinite wisdom, Bone Reading Set, The Tarot card deck of the Silicon Dawn, or your personal astrologer.

No American Flags were burned during the production of this article.

Do not attempt this at home. Prepared on a closed course.

Bob Dylan - The Times they are a Changin'

APUS Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - Ohio (Lyric Video)

© 2016 mckbirdbks


mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on December 13, 2016:

Thanks Sha - I appreciate that. The task is much larger than anticipated.

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on December 13, 2016:

Mike, your disclaimer is hilarious! Your creative mind really shows itself with each one. You're on a roll!

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on December 04, 2016:

Bill , I bought a plastic cover for the keyboard. Did not want the tears to damage it.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on December 04, 2016:

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this series. Probably a little of both. Whatever...it's brilliant, as the Brits like to say.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on December 04, 2016:

Hello Genna - There is so much material, I had to publish twice this week. We had all better learn to laugh and learn to fight. CS&N played a big part of my musical experience in the 70's.

Have an exciting Sunday.

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on December 04, 2016:

The man from Utah -- Romney. And I loved the reference to Conway. "No American Flags were burned during the production of this article." Lol. Touché!. I do so enjoy this series -- and the music. Listening to CS&N is a fun way to launch my Sunday morning.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on December 03, 2016:

Hello John - I am having fun with the disclaimers. I admit it. The world got a whole lot scarier with a loose cannon set free. As always, thanks for stopping by for a read. The next installment is written. Things are moving too fast.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on December 03, 2016:

This is a great series, Mike. I can't stop smiling throughout even if I may miss some of the humor due to not being American. The songs were a perfect choice as always, and I am not sure whether I enjoy the story or the disclaimer more :) both classic. Looking forward to the next instalment.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on December 03, 2016:

Hi Shy - There is a character named Symmetry. She has not had any 'Airtime' yet. But I see that she must be included. I appreciate your attention to the storyline.

We all need laughter now, and we will need plenty more in the months to come. There are choices to be made.

Shyron E Shenko from Texas on December 03, 2016:

Oh how fun, sending Rommel back to the Utah wilderness

But there is the one thing that is amiss

What happened to Model-T’s little sis

Maybe she is having breakfast at Tiffanie’s

Or is she trying to learn the “Deal of the Arts”

At her father’s University

Surely he would not scam her! Or would he?

Since he would be footing the bill!



Lol, I am having a ton of fun with this, please don't stop, I need the laughter to dull the pain.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on December 03, 2016:

Hello Ruby - We are a nation of discontented people. The way of life we were lead to believe constituted life has vanished for many of us. The young are unhappy with the old. The old are unhappy with the establishment and their wishes being ignored. The politicians are yammering daily. Not to mention the incomprehensible incongruity of the media. The times they are a changing.

Thanks for visiting this morning.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on December 03, 2016:

Hello mar - Sorry to startle A and Z. They may be safe with you. Good call, I did not even notice that Flossy was missing. I cannot write fast enough for this crowd. There is so much work to be done dismantling a nation.

Thanks for braving the chilly waters of Fauntleroy and Flossy's pond.

Happy Saturday.

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on December 03, 2016:

OMG, this is funny and so surreal. The loser from Utah is practically on his knees begging. The Bad Ass Blond is looking happier these days. I wonder if she's been groped? Your disclaimer is hilarious! I am definitely crying, but the phone in his sock cracks me up every time you mention it. I was sure the video, We've Only Just Begun, would be at the bottom of this brilliant satire. I'm on my way back up to listen to Dylan. I'm back and the second video gave me chills. It brought memories of unrest in America, much like today, but something keeps whispering, " You ain't seen nothing yet baby. "

Maria Jordan from Jeffersonville PA on December 03, 2016:

The little woman is conspicuously absent... Flossy must have gotten carried away with the charge - with it being cyber-week and all.

I read the disclaimer first with A and Z...they excused themselves on their own - no worries!

Twice in one week - soon to be daily - hope Santa buys you plenty of notepads with this series.

Happy Saturday! Hugs, mar

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