WritingPoetryHumor WritingInspirational WritingCreative WritingPersonal EssaysBooksPlays & ScriptsMemoirs & BiographiesNewspapers & MagazinesSerializations

Fauntleroy and Flossy – Politburo

Updated on December 21, 2016

“Are you watching what the Politburo is doing in North Carolina?”

Fauntleroy paused, “Vader, you have to be more careful. Here in America, don’t refer to our political brothers as the Politburo. We are playing down the Russian connection. You know that I declined an invitation to the Victory Day Parade in Red Square, in Moscow. Comrade, we must be careful.”

Fauntleroy changed the subject. “What are you doing about the inauguration? I understand top performers do not wish to take part. You offered them ambassadorships like I told you? What am I going to do about all those ambassadorships? There are baskets full of them."

Vader waited for a pause, “My President, there has been talk of just using iTunes for the inauguration and place some remote wireless speakers around the room. Then we were going to broadcast an older rock performance on large LCD screens. We are sure no one will notice. And we don’t have to pay any money. You know how we like to save money.”

Fauntleroy took the camouflage phone from his sock. “Putt-baby, do you have any Russian rock stars you can loan me? They have to be known worldwide. Do you have anyone like that?” He hung up the phone.

“What about Elton John? Can we get Elton John?”

Vader waved his hands back and forth like he was waving off a jet from landing on his aircraft carrier. Vader swallowed hard, “My President, will I be the acting President when you are at the deposition concerning your lawsuit against that chef?”

“No Vader, you are never going to be acting President? My daughter likes you, but I don’t like you? And I said, Sous Chef, not sue chef! Why isn’t everyone smart like me? On another subject, you are in charge of getting the horses.”

“Horses, My President?”

“Yes, horses, we are going to have to reinstate the Calvary, we are going to have to move Indians off our land to get to our oil that we have saved there. Bring back those blue double breasted uniforms. I liked those."

"There is a press release of our plan to privatize the land.”

“Privatized, nothing! That is, U.S. government land. We will auction it off to our friends.”

“Sir, you don’t want another Wounded Knee.”

Fauntleroy gave him a blank look.

Vader made a note. “Do you want to put out a statement disavowing the news regarding your new Tweetocracy?”

Fauntleroy threw the red phone across the room. It smashed on impact. He frowned. “Get me a replacement for that.”

Vader made a note.

“I’m tired. That’s all.”

“Sir, I want to talk to you about the Chinese stealing a U.S. unmanned underwater vehicle.”

Fauntleroy gave him a blank look.

“It was covered in the daily briefings.”

“Handle it; I’m tired.”

Vader started to leave.

“Did you pass on my threats to the members of the Electoral College?”

“Yes, My President. Is there a statement regarding the concern in Sweden, that Russia is staged to invade their country?”

Fauntleroy sat down in a huge easy chair, shaking his head.

Vader left.

Fauntleroy signed on to his Tweeter account with his camouflage phone. “VADER!!! VADER!!! Get in here.

Vader rushed back into the room. “CALL THE F.B.I., GET THE C.I.A., here. GET HOLD OF THE HEAD OF NATIONAL SECURITY. WHO ELSE DO WE HAVE? NSA!! YES. CALL THE SENATE INTO SESSION; I WANT A FULL INVESTIGATION. Reach out to the Intelligence and Security Command. MY TWEETER ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HACKED!!!!” Fauntleroy, red-faced, “THIS is serious.”

That night in the bedroom of the residence Fauntleroy lay next to Flossy. “I have been working on my inauguration speech. Just the opening, do you want to hear it?”

Flossy stifled a yawn, as wives do when asked such a question by mere husbands. “Yes, darling.” She closed her eyes.

“My fellow Americans and of course our guest residents. And I have been asked by the Border Patrol to play this song here.”

The Como Mamas - Meet Me At the River

Then when the song ends, I’ll continue.”

“My fellow Rumericans, I am not going to be making many speeches to you during my four, eight, twelve years, to sixteen years here. I will be tinkering, under the hood, as it were, with the way this country has been working. All those terrible programs that are dragging us away from our supremacy …”

He looked over at Flossy, who had fallen asleep. He picked up his phone and began to tweet.

Proud Sponsors

Survivalofthefittest.con, actiontheory.united, socialcontrol.notyet, whodiedandmadeyouking.really and other proud sponsors.

Disclaimer

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or elected, or selected, or rejected, is not intended and therefore pronounced coincidental. No disrespect is intended, amended, or pretended. The characters are too absurd to be anything other than the figments, fragments, and laments of the fictitious author.

If your thoughts turned suicidal, eyes can't focus, in a spiral, forget all that and just go primal, remember that nothing’s final. Search the garage, and find the vinyl, it's important to survival.

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

By reading this, the user consents to full body x-ray’s at all U.S. airports, (they will be posted on Youtube), you grant permission for listening device-surveillance in your home, office, and automobiles. Concede to drone monitoring of your city, state, and country. But, you can also, carry a fully automatic AK-47 in the Walmart nearest you (check your local ordinance); just like the folks in Mogadishu. You give your government permission, banning the use of the words, global warming in all government documents. And if you prescribe to the idea that climate change has anything to do with oil, your name will go on a list kept at the highest levels.

If you are allergic to Fauntleroy and Flossy, stop using and grab your Yoga mat, find your Groupon, assume folding Marichyasana position to calm the mind, strengthen your spine and give your internal organs a healthy squeeze.

Until Next Time

Source

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Bad Moon Rising

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Lookin Out My Back Door

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 10 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Happy New Year Ruby. Thanks for letting me and everyone that stops by know. It is great to get an alert before we all fall for the same trick.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 10 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Mike I wanted to let all the people who follow me know that my account was hacked on Facebook. Someone appeared as my friend's mother, asking to be a friend, since it was a message with my friend's mother I added her as a friend, her picture was on the instant message. ( I know her ) The person told me I had won money, wanting my bank for direct deposit. All this time I thought I was talking to Tammy's mother, Gordie. I called Tammy while all this was going on and she told me that her mother's account had been hacked and pictures taken. So be aware. I'm just glad that I called while this was happening, otherwise I might have been stupid and given out info. I unsubscribed from Facebook. I attempted to notify them of the scam going on and couldn't even find a place to tell them. Take care and keep Fauntleroy and Flossy going...

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 10 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Sha - Happy New Year to you. Yes, you caught me, I was having fun with the sponsors.Hope all is well, and you continue to prosper in the new year.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 10 months ago from Central Florida

      I love the sponsors of this post. Very creative, Mike!

      Sadly, I don't think this work of fiction is far from the truth. Quite the opposite, really.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - I have the feeling I should be 'preparing' but its like being out at sea in an old sailing ship. The storm is coming, yet there is no safe harbor nearby to ride it out. So we shall see.

      Happy New Year - good thing we have the problems of day-to-day life to keep us distracted.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 11 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Hi Mike. Well, the 76.5 % of all eligible voters who didn't vote for him will have no choice but to "give him a chance." (For however long "a chance" may be.) Neither will those voters that are beginning to regret having voting for him. This is what bothers me whenever the media states, "Well, this is what the majority of voters/electorate wanted." A number of Trump supporters are becoming angry in that he appears to be breaking many of his campaign promises. With all due respect, what did they expect? The handwriting was on the wall for a long time, and still is. Nothing Mr. Trump has done surprises me. And I keep hoping/praying that he does. That would make a nice New Year. :-)

      Happy New Year

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - Thanks for the holiday well wishes. Hope you had a wonderful visit with family and friends. Yes -innuendo indeed. So much going on. I heard some people at the P.O. today saying the platitude - just give him a chance. Seems to me the troops are massing on the Polish border, but that is just me.

      Holiday cheer to you and yours.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 11 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      "Vader," and "my President..." "Sous Chef, not sue chef!" The blank look at the reference to "Wounded Knee." (Like, "huh?") Ohhh, the innuendo is priceless, Mike. And Vader will undoubtedly do a lot of heavy lifting in the real Oval Office. "There's a bad moon on the rise.." Yup! Great, funny parody. (Sorry I'm late but spent the Christmas holiday, away.)

      I hope you and everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Happy New Year! :-)

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Merry Christmas Ruby - Have a joyful weekend.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 11 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Merry Christmas Mike and to all Hubbers with a good sense of humor..

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Merry Christmas Shy. Thank you for your many blessings.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Merry Christmas all with blessings.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      That is funny. Merry Christmas

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 11 months ago from North America

      "All I want for Christmas is a new nose... la la la la la la la la la..."

      Merry Christmas and Happy Other Holidays, friends!

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      And flying coach. The story does not pass the smell test. Peace and joy in the world.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 11 months ago from North America

      That is a good question. A story lies in it somewhere.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi Patty - I best get busy painting the 'Remember the Titanic' signs. There are going to be in big demand. It does help to vent.

      Why would the children of billionaires fly Jet Blue?

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - We are going to see some fast changes. A sense of humor will be good to have around.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 11 months ago from North America

      I breathlessly await your Inauguration Address for the new prez in the near future. Look for me in the crowd - I'll wear a full Plains Indian male's headdress (if the Fuantleroys can crush the rules of order, so can I). And, I'll have a placard reading, "Remember the Titanic" that features the sinking vessel and a broken oil pipeline pouring tar sands onto it to help it sink. What fun to vent!

      I'll cheer up watching SNL presidential parodies. :)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 11 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I just walked to the post office, wearing my fur lined hat and I had to laugh again, thinking of your comment...lol

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Patty that is a good point. But the whole ship sunk. I exaggerate.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 11 months ago from North America

      Gee, there were a lot of wealthy people on the Titanic, come to think of it...

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - What could possibly go wrong with the Ship of State with the Billionaires Club at the helm? Makes me wonder just how much money does someone have to pull the strings of so many Billionaires. Certainly is some one. We will have to watch for clues regarding the new secret service. If they are wearing round fur hats, then we will know for sure.

      Thank you, thank you. Merry Christmas

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill, I took the liberty, at request of the Fauntleroy's to write the Inauguration Address. Stay tuned. The sad thing is the amount of material I have to go through to get one of these put together.

      Thanks for stopping by today.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 11 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I forgot to tell you how much I love this satire and the video was spot-on for this clever piece...

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 11 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I guess we will no longer be greeting each other with a hello or a friendly good morning? I guess comrade will be made into the new law of the America that we once knew. I feel like crying, but I'm too mad. He doesn't trust the secret service to protect him so he's bringing in his own security people, I wonder if they once were members of the KGB??????? Do Do Do lookin out my back door, like Palin, I don't see Russia YET!!

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi mar - I can't go wrong with CCR. That is for sure. A bad moon rising - it's a sign. Great that you found the vinyl, along with the other paraphernalia (yes, I had to look up the spelling).

      Look forward to Saturday, as I have been asked by the Fauntleroy administration to write the speech for him. Afterwards, I expect the administration to file their lawsuit.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 11 months ago from Olympia, WA

      What can he possibly say in his Inauguration Address that will ease my apprehension?

      The answer to that question is simple.

      Blending humor with pathos is not an easy thing to do. You do it very, very well. Bravo, my friend.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 11 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      From the Como Mamas to CCR, the fictitious author has got it going on with musical selections...

      ...making this satirical material a bit easier to ingest, inhale, indigestion...oh, you know what I mean right? I 'may' have found something else in the garage when I was pulling out the vinyl... :)

      Happy 21st of December...by next month that speech will already be history! Hugs, mar

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi Shy

      This is just a parody

      My, being right is a rarity

      And hey, there is always charity

      Just brace for the barbarity

      ..

      Say good bye to prosperity

      Embrace your austerity

      Ignore the social vulgarity

      Build new, solidarity

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Oh my gosh, Wounded Knee

      Laughter tears have stuffed my nose

      Turned my eyes to flaming red

      Guess I'll have to go back to bed

      Or figure out how to hack twitter accounts instead

      This is the best -see the blank look on my face.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Patty, and Merry Christmas. The lands are almost certainly going to be turned over to oil interest. Big money went to Washington this election and they are not making a secret of their intentions. We just have to brace our sensibilities as the tsunami of madness sweeps away what is important in the pursuit of money.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 11 months ago from North America

      If my Native North American friends are relieved of their remaining land or leaky oil and tar sands pipelines are strung across it without permission, then it certainly will be a bad moon rising.