Fauntleroy and Flossy – Minotaur

Flossy lay across her big brass bed in the Royal residence, “Darling, I agree with you. You are like the Minotaur. You are half man and half bull. But darling, you have the wrong halfs. You are bull-headed.” She smiled to herself at the not spoken part of her metaphor, while twirling her stiletto knife with the KGB microphone built in the handle. “Are you really going to allow the Republican held House and Senate to dissolve the Children’s Health Insurance Program? Is that who we are?”

Fauntleroy glanced away from his mirror as agents S.P. and Y., entered, followed by Connie. “People should know when they are conquered.” She called. “Oh, your law firm, Morons, Lootem and Buckus called. They said to build the wall higher.” She tossed a bag of Lego® pieces to Agent Y. She noticed the fur lined handcuffs on his belt. It saddened her that she might miss a party.

Connie and Fauntleroy turned to leave the room. Faunts camouflage sock phone rang, “Putt-baby. Wait? What? Goudie Ruliana, I told you not to call anymore.” A pause. “What? I gave you a job? Cyber security, you don’t even have a laptop. What? We have been hacked? No, they don’t care. They all want to be in a hotel room in Moscow with hookers. Every man in America wants to be me.” Faunt tucked the phone back in his argyle sock.

“Darling,” Flossy called when they reached the door. “Are you a billionaire philanthropist that runs around Gotham after dark.”

He paused at the door.

"Shall I look on eBay for a spotlight that you can respond to,” she purred. “One that your billionaire friends can use to emit a signal of a big fat cat into the sky.” She smiled. “You can run around making wrongs of all that is right.”

Fauntleroy and Connie stepped through the door. “Get agents R.O.B.I. & N to work up some plans for a bad ass bully car.”

Connie made a note. “Did you see that a bill to repeal the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act and the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010 is working its way toward your desk?

“Yes, I don’t see how that makes America Great again.”

“What about H.R. 367: To provide that silencers be treated the same as long guns? We want to be able to kill, but quietly.” Connie loved her wit.

Fauntleroy laughed, “What about H.R. 193: American Sovereignty Restoration Act of 2017 to end membership of the United States in the United Nations. We are going to turn this place into a backwater country at this rate. It will be a patchwork of warlords and mobs, bandits and chaos. The hippies will grow flowers and write folk songs about me.” Fauntleroy reached for the gold phone and tweeted.

Disclaimer

This is a work of fiction. Characters are the imagination of the fictitious author. Fauntleroy and Flossy are not for everyone. (That should be clear by now.) Names, acronyms, (H.R. Bill’s may be uncannily similar), characters, businesses, places, events and incidents and indictments are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.

Caution: Do not read while building gangster muscle cars in dark subterranean basements as feelings of depression and anxiety may wrench you from consciousness. Do not attempt this at home, written on a professional track, by a professional driver. All images conjured, are the responsibility of the reader, and the writer bears no medical liability. Images of orange haired, penurious, pedantic, posers are purely the imagination of the reader.

The article is provided “as is” without warranties. Any resemblance to an opium induced stupor, an 80 proof vodka bender or binge watching the Survivor series is purely coincidental.

If you are allergic to Fauntleroy and Flossy or any of its ingredients see your Clinical psychologist, Clinical Social worker, Mental Health Counselor, Certified Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor, Psychiatrist, as they are often qualified to provide medication. Psychotic behavior can be repaired.

For those that may be offended by Fauntleroy and Flossy, calm down: here is your placebo, 'John Wayne' - 'Ronald Reagan,' -'they'll have to pry my gun from my cold dead hands' and lets not forget 'Joe the Plumber'; there, are you feeling better?

Mumford and Sons – Liar

The Batman Theme Song

Is it just me or do the thugs in the Batman video resemble Congress?

Ruth Moody - Trouble and Woe

Russia National anthem Russian & English lyrics

Do you want your sons and daughters fighting in Poland?

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus Circus closes down

can't compete with Washington DC

— Fauntleroy

© 2017 mckbirdbks

Comments

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 23, 2017:

Hello Genna - Some how, The Leader of the Free World position has been absconded. I think the democracy that has been built is more fragile than people believe and as he and his team begin pulling pillars from beneath it it has a good chance to collapse.

Luckily for me, I have a brother-in-law, with all the same personality traits now on display in Washington. It is not going to be pretty.

Now on the lighter side, as the saying goes, 'give them bread and circuses'

oh wait, they closed down the circus.

Happy Monday. I will go and find his statements at the Union Station.

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on January 23, 2017:

I know what you mean, Mike. And "Faunt" has, again, refused to release his tax returns -- as if we ever thought that he would -- nor will he resolve the conflicts of interest posed by his business interests. We'll see the Second Coming first. I have never witnessed a more dishonest, reckless and self-absorbed politician. Thank goodness he has people to serve as muzzle and leash (such as Ivanka and Jared), which is why he walks back so many of his off-the-cuff riffs in his tweets, and his unhinged rhetoric, such as what said at Union Station on the eve of his inauguration.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 20, 2017:

Hello Patty - The military rejected the idea of tanks and rocket launchers on parade for the inauguration. A concept often used in Russia. We are in a Brave New World. As the United States is dismantled, perhaps more people will realize what has been done. His speech was eye opening, to say the least.

Patty Inglish MS from USA and Asgardia, the First Space Nation on January 20, 2017:

OMG, I read, write and speak Russian. I guess that gives me an advantage at recognizing lies.

Some people are praying for the new President to be honest and effective, others lined up along the inaugural parade route to throw concrete chunks and beer bottles.

I want to go back to JFK and start over.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 19, 2017:

Hi Always - We are all Rabble in Arms now. Happy Thursday.

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on January 19, 2017:

There's a video on you tube of Perry trying to answer a question about energy and he forgot the name. Talk about unqualified! but he'll fit right in. Mike I lol again when I read your comment about walking with a sign that read, " The end is here. " Thank God for Genna, she keeps us well informed.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 19, 2017:

Hello Genna, it is to the country's shame that DeVos plans to blow up public education by withholding funds. We are going to face some very stomach wrenching white water rapids just ahead. Remember the domino theory from the cold war years rhetoric? Sure sounds like i here dominos falling.

Rick Perry is an echo chamber, just a hollow man in a job much to big for him.

This must be what a failed state looks like.

Genna East on January 19, 2017:

Next up on the Cabinet picks: The blatantly unqualified Rick Perry, who didn't realize he was also responsible for this country's nuclear arsenal, as well as other aspects of the job of Energy Secretary. Talk about a nail-biting learning arc. It's the first day of school, folks. And they aren't quite finished with Tillerson, who claims the subject of Russia never came up during his discussions with Donald Trump when being considered for Secretary of State. Who can forget his foolish and insulting remark about China during the confirmation hearings? I guess he hasn't yet heard that foreign diplomacy isn't about making business deals. And for DeVos for Education...well, I refuse to go there; I haven't had my morning coffee yet. You can't make this stuff up, Mike. Who'd believe it?

Happy Thursday. :-)

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 19, 2017:

Hello mar - fun with alliteration. Yes, indeed. I was thinking about getting a sign board Friday and walking around town with 'The End is Here' message.

Maria Jordan from Jeffersonville PA on January 18, 2017:

"Images of orange haired, penurious, pedantic, posers are purely the imagination of the reader"- this has fractured my funny bone, dear Mike.

Speaking of 'big brass bed', wishing everyone a peaceful night. Hugs, mar

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 18, 2017:

Hello Peg - Thank you for your visit today. Yes, politicians supply an endless source of amusement. I hope we all get to continue to laugh. I appreciate your visit. It means a lot.

Peg Cole from Northeast of Dallas, Texas on January 18, 2017:

Political satire provides an endless source of material. You could keep this series going for a long time - perhaps taking it back to tell of "special dictation" under the desk in the Oval Office and of stained dresses. Yes, plenty to write about.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 18, 2017:

Hi Bill - A sense of humor is going to become very valuable moving forward. The lines of reality and illusion are going to become cloudy. You are very well set on your urban farm. There will be plenty to write about and you will be offered plenty of character villains for you.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on January 18, 2017:

The name of the law firm is a classic. As always, I read this and chastise myself for laughing. It's real hard, right now, for me to find anything funny about this situation. Still, we must soldier on. Thanks for the chuckles.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 18, 2017:

Hello Martie - I am not sure this series does any good for any of us. There are serious issues in America. The new leadership feels more interested in tearing this country down rather than making it a better place for all of us.

We always seem to find the money for war. It is peace that always scares us.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 18, 2017:

Oh, Genna if only there was a USS Enterprise near by to take the few of us that seem to see what is going on out of this universe. I am sure there are many that would like to see us all go. There is such a push to dismantle that it is unnerving. That billionaires that never experienced the struggles that most of us have faced is a big concern. We face a 'two Americas' realization where the very rich enjoy the fruits and the rest of us fight for the pits. That 'the rest of us' includes many pro President elect thinking people.

That wrecking ball is being raised to knock down the public school system. We are on the precipice of third world America.

Well, that was not a very funny response.

Thanks for staying with this series.

Martie Coetser from South Africa on January 18, 2017:

Oh dear! This is going to be a very interesting 4 years. That 'stop tweeting' image of Batman and Trump is absolutely hilarious.

Mike, you are doing what typical writers do: Write and write and write again in order to make a bitter pill small enough to swallow.

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on January 18, 2017:

Lol. Loved the law firm; the repeal of Obama care without a replacement (maybe in the near future but we don't know what we're doing yet, even though we've had years to craft an alternative); silencers (all for the sake of safety, of course -- who cares if other hunters can't hear you in the vicinity); and more. You have such an creative mind, Mike.

And the real-life Faunt continues to insult our allies and friends, while praising Putin. Meanwhile, China steps in to fill the void. I feel as though we're on the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701), orbiting the earth in some alternate reality as we search for a place to land on landmass called the United States of America. Wake me when it's over, Scottie. :-)

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 18, 2017:

Hello Ruby - it is indeed surreal. I am noticing cracks with the republicans in Washington DC. The general glee seems to be dying down. I should start looking for an old guitar at a thrift store, as what are folk songs without an old guitar.

I wrote an inauguration speech. Not sure they will use it. haha

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on January 18, 2017:

You can't make this up, it's so surreal! The fur lined handcuffs, the law firm, the hookers in a motel room in Moscow, and the Russian vodka with the orange peel seals the deal. The vision of the crooks standing around strategizing their next move with legos cracks me up! I can see them all in the steel car wearing bullet proof vests. I guess I'll be writing folksongs and longing for the good ole hippy days. This is sooo good. You read the man so well. Oh, I can't wait for your inauguration day piece.....