Skip to main content

Fauntleroy and Flossy – I am here, therefore I am


Fauntleroy glanced away from his reflection in the mirror over at Flossy, who was lying across their big brass bed, “The press is so dishonest. There were way more Farters for Fauntleroy in the streets than they reported.”

“Oh, darling, you know the Farters for Fantleroy are very loyal to you. You cannot let the press give you gas. It isn’t good for you. I hear you talking with all sorts of people about gas.”

“You understand me so well. Thank you my little котёнок (kitten).”

Connie stepped away from the flower wallpaper wearing only matching body paint. “English, only from now on. You must remember, my President.” She reached for a hooded robe and draped it over her shoulders. She reprimanded herself to herself: Only offer 10 second sound bites, never command, never insult.

Connie and Fauntleroy walked out of the royal residence. Connie began, “You have been invited to Kazakhstan. If you do go, remember that all the rooms you will be in are recorded for both sound and video. Every step will be observed, every word will be recorded. Those Russian girls, as you know, are beautiful, but you have to control yourself.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m smart I get it. Make sure there are some women on the plane. And get me some 3 x 5 cards with the names of who I am meeting with. Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov called on my camouflage phone. I am going to have to get an unlisted camouflage phone.” He paused for a moment. “Can I banish Senators? Some of them are very annoying.”

“Did you hear about a new opposition group called, Rabble in Arms,” Connie thought a moment. “What does that even mean?”

The two stepped inside the Rolls Royce Presidential limo. When the doors were closed Connie ran the scanner to make sure they were not being recorded. “Are we sponsoring a branch of Bank of Moscow here in Washington DC?”

“Where did you hear that?”

“I hear things. Don’t you think I hear things?”

They both laughed.

Fauntleroy leaned back and grabbed his gold phone.

He was so happy with his cleverness.

The waiting room was filled when they arrived at his office. Fauntleroy walked through quickly. He pointed to each person there as they headed for the office door. “Yes, yes, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no.” He reached to door. “Connie, we now have time for a round of golf. Let’s head out the back door. Vader is waiting.”

At the golf course Vader met them in a golf cart. When they both climbed on the cart sank noticeably.

A caddy nearby heard, “We have an offer on the Lincoln Memorial.”

Vader reached in his pocket and pulled out a note and handed it to Fauntleroy.

“Work,” Fauntleroy said. “I came to play golf. I already worked this morning.” He looked at the note. “They will pay how much for a pound of enriched uranium.”

“An operative in Albania tells us that is what we can receive by diverting the material in question to them.”

Fauntleroy, Vader and Connie climbed down from the golf cart. Fauntleroy went to the tee and hit a nice shot down the fairway. “Life is good,” he called, as he watched Connie line up for her shot. “Life is good.”


Fauntleroy and Flossy is a work of fiction. No gastroenterologist were injured during the production of this episode. No methane wells were capped as a result of this fictitious work. All characters and other entities appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, or non democrats or for that matter other chance, real-life entity, past or present, is precisely coincidental, inconsequential and unceremoniously predictable. The events, appointments, and character assassinations and firms depicted are fictitious, or should be fictitious. No Albanian operatives were consulted during the construction of this writing.

Side effects may include stunting of growth, seizures, and blurry vision. This in no way is relief for personal medical requirements. Feelings of depression, anxiety and anguish nervousness may occur while under the influence of Fauntley and Flossy.

If you are allergic to Fauntleroy and Flossy, or any of their ingredients, quit reading immediately. Visual hallucinations may actually be real life occurrences. Keep psychoactive artificial cannabinoid families nearby, as their availability may become restricted as real life replaces past hallucinations.

A White House maintenance man took down the brass plate reading 'West Wing' at the entrance to the hall, the new brass plate read, 'Red Wing'.


"Good Morning" #TAPPY Debbie Reynolds Tribute

Donald Trump Has Some Colorful Friends | The Resistance with Keith Olbermann | GQ

© 2017 mckbirdbks

Related Articles