Fauntleroy and Flossy – Crime Family

Updated on March 11, 2017

Fauntleroy slammed his fist down on the desk and looked across at his Chief of Staff, “I want this guy found, he must be the one. Mr. Ludicrous is his name. I see his name everywhere I look. Intelligence briefings hint at him, the media always mentions him. He is a mole right here in the White House and must be found. Call the Intelligence Agencies and step up the search, Mr. Ludicrous is not going to ruin my Presidency.”

The Chief of Staff stood and left the room, followed by his pet peeve, a Senior Advisor.

Fauntleroy reached for his camouflage phone, just as he was about to hit Putt-Baby speed dial, Model T burst into the office. “Papa, you are a genius, getting the factory in China to make orange overalls on time for the deportation plants to open worked so well. My first quarter sales are soaring.” She kissed him, “I love you Papa,” and skipped out of the room.

“Putt-Baby, did you see how I deflected all that Russia talk. The last guy who held this office will take all the flack for weeks as my investigations of his administration works up steam. In the meantime, your strategy for closing down the State Department is working brilliantly. Did you see your man just smile at the cameras without uttering a word of Russian? I tell you we will be fracking in Yellowstone by December.” Faunterloy listened.

“Another ten billion. Yes, we can do that, we will hide it in contracts to build the wall. The money will move easily, but we will need a little time. Hey, did you see, I just killed funding to the arts? Soon, we will be just like Russia.”

Errdick, Mini T walked into the room. “Our tax returns have been subpoenaed. You have to kill those subpoenas. There is so much hidden in there. You gotta call somebody. This is harassment.”

Fauntleroy looked over at his protégés. “We have just been asked to funnel another ten billion through the system. Look into the Lebanon- Arap Türk Bankası A.Ş connection. See what they can handle this time.”

“You’ll take care of the I.R.S.?”

Fauntleroy smiled, “They work for me don’t they?”

Maniacal laughter.

Fauntleroy reached over and pushed the intercom button. “Send in Disconcerting.”

The word “Sir,” could be heard.

“Disconcerting, he runs information to the media.” Fauntleroy huffed, “I see his name on all the press releases going out.”

“Yes, sir. Right away, sir.”

A moment later Banshi walked into the room. “Sir, I have brought you your potion. Are you forgetting to take it? I have been sending Con Con Connie with your elixir each morning in your Royal Residence. Have you been taking it? It arrives daily in the diplomatic pouch from Moscow.”

Fauntleroy stared around the room. “I want to ruin someone. I have not ruined anyone for several days now.”

“Yes, Mr. President. I will see to it at once.”


This is a work of fiction. No responses from inquiries to the Ukrainian Parliament were received. There is no present proof of innuendo in payoffs, bribes, diplomatic pouches, payouts through members of the Russian Embassy. Changes in the party in powers, platform regarding the invasion of the sovereign nation of Ukraine are purely coincidental. Names and amounts written in private journals of the exiled president are public record.

Fauntleroy and Flossy, are not for everybody. Vanishing civil liberties, international goodwill and trust are non-contingent to facts in evidence. To bolster the impact of the Fauntleroy administration, California wine makers have stepped up production and will begin shipping nationwide prior to any border taxes between States are passed, and ahead of Russian wines hitting the inner city markets.


H.R. 610: To distribute Federal funds for elementary and secondary education in the form of vouchers for eligible students and to ...

... repeal a certain rule relating to nutrition standards in schools.

H.R. 621: Disposal of Excess Federal Lands Act of 2017

To direct the Secretary of the Interior to sell certain Federal lands in Arizona, Colorado, Idaho, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Utah, and Wyoming, previously identified as suitable for disposal, and for other purposes.

Sent to Committee Jan. 4, 2017

A little-noticed bill moving through Congress would allow companies to require employees to undergo genetic testing or risk paying a penalty of thousands of dollars, and would let employers see that genetic and other health information.

Giving employers such power is now prohibited by legislation including the 2008 genetic privacy and nondiscrimination law known as GINA.

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Removing funding for

The National Endowment for the Arts

is worthy of the actions of the


Josef Salvat - Hustler

Casino Soundtrack - The Animals - The House of the Rising Sun

The Godfather Soundtrack

© 2017 mckbirdbks


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    • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy – Yes, the word ludicrous was seen on many memos leaving the White House. What we are witnessing is also ludicrous. The VP would be just as bad as the current leader.

      I did see that Rachel Maddow got her hands on a couple of pages of the tax returns. Her and her team seem to actually do investigative journalism. Glad somebody is still fighting for America.

      You are right about our forefathers. No matter what, the current president joins their ranks. I bet they are sick to their stomachs about that.

      I try to add humor. Boy, we need humor.

      I appreciate the blessings.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      3 years ago from Texas

      Mr. Ludicrous is his name. I see his name everywhere I look. Was he looking at his Veep who is the one who would benefit the most, if he is impeached?

      Rachel Maddow just got two pages of Fauntleroy’s 2005 tax return two pages.

      Our forefathers are rolling over in their graves at what is going on and how little anyone is doing about it is an understatement, they are probably clawing their way to the surface and showing their faces on Nell’s floor. (her latest hub) LOL.

      I know it is getting harder and harder to find humor for this series, but we, your fans love it and appreciate you for writing this, and if someone should complain to me about the loon in the WH, I am just going to smile and say ‘Don’t blame me, I did not vote for DT.’

      As always Blessings

    • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Martie - There seems to be a lot to be afraid of these days. I read your piece that you published earlier. There seems plenty to worry about in your neck of the woods also. We are among a generation that will leave the earth in much worse shape than when we recieved it. Our forefathers are rolling over in their graves at what is going on and how little anyone is doing about it.

      No, this satire is not doing me much good, as I scurry here and there looking for humor. There is so little of it to be found.

      There are so many, that view what is happening and asking, 'what is the big deal?' That hurts the most.

    • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bronwen Scott-Branagan - Here in the U.S. we have a situation of global grotesque proportions. We all seem to be paralyzed from action. The opposition party sees these as an opportunity to blitz their agenda, regardless of cost to the people for the benefit of the rich. What a world.

    • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Patty - Maybe you are on to something. Maybe, Fauntleroy is the leader of the lizard people (of Alex Jones fame) and there has been an invasion. Perhaps mind control was used. Who knew, "I will build a wall," could be so hypnotic?

      Thanks for taking a moment to read this little satire.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 

      3 years ago from South Africa

      Dear Mck, this is truly so scary, I feel an anxiety attack coming. The more I hear of DT, the more I recognize symptoms of a mental disease. The most powerful man in the world, or rather one of the most powerful people, is unpredictable, careless and simply not to be trusted.

      Thank heavens for Maria's comment. It made me laugh out loud - the best way to get rid of angst.

      Mike, I hope the writing of this satire kills your stress and helps you to process the daily dramas in your world.

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

      3 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Oh, Wow! Enjoyed reading this, what undertones!

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish MS 

      3 years ago from USA and Asgardia, the First Space Nation

      “I want to ruin someone. I have not ruined anyone for several days now.” -- That's the whole personality, isn't it: Up with me, down with everyone else?

      We could use an invasion by Mars right about now.

    • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - Thank you. Glad to hear your Coloring Book is getting some attention. Yes, for any that do not like the cover, I can just say, I do what I can. Some are better than others. Maybe in another ten years, I will get good at creating book covers.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are too funny...in a weeping sort of way.

      By the way, I have received several compliments on the cover of the coloring book, so nice job. If someone doesn't like it, well, that's just tough!

    • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - You are right, more wine could be just what the doctor ordered. Thanks for the visit to my continued ranting. As you can see the Godfather was an afterthought. Have a good weekend.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 

      3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      "... California wine makers have stepped up production..."

      Praise the heavens, these days I don't keep much breathing room in my glass.

      I agree, The Godfather soundtrack is just right.

      Happy Saturday, Mike. Hugs, mar

    • mckbirdbks profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - I wonder if the American people have the stomach to 1) admit they were wrong and 2) put a sitting American president in prison.

      The gallows is too good for Banshi.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 

      3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Mike, you have once again brilliantly mirrored that razor-thin barrier between parody and what we see happening in the real world. Kudos. And the Godfather theme is perfect.

      Tillerson seems to be SOC in name only these days. Hundreds of long-standing workers in the Sate Dept. who are bi-partisan are being shown to the parking lot while Bannon fills certain slots with Breibart contributors and conspiracy theorists. As crazy as this sounds, it's true. His self-avowed agenda is becoming disturbingly clear.

      How interesting that Trump hooked his wagon to someone like Steve Bannon, who shares some striking similarities to Donald's former ruthless mentor, Roy Cohn. This only makes the McCarthy reference in his grammar school lie about the Obama wiretapping even more hypocritical and infantile. Not to mention his continued manipulation of the media. And WikiLeaks only adds to the chaos/distrust/fear/confusion that must have Bannon (and Putin) doing handsprings behind closed doors.

      Most Americans want Trump to release his tax returns. His offshore shell companies and bank accounts would make for some interesting reading as well. Trump's secrets -- rather like Gollum's "the precious" -- are well-hidden in various databases. Where is Julian Assange when you need him? He's busy "exposing" the US as a country that is, as Trump stated to Bill O'Reilly on Fox News, "You think we're so innocent?" Yes, Donald, compared to Moscow Putin, we are. And at the end of the day, we have a series of checks and balances that help protect us from people like you. It may take a while, but eventually your gig will be up. A number of people will be holding your feet to the fire with-every-step-you-take. Count on it.

      This would be a classic Grisham/Clancy novel, Mike, (or Mario Puzzo for that matter), if it weren't all so serious.

      Sorry for the rambling, long-winded post.

      Happy weekend! :-)


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