Fauntleroy and Flossy – Address to Congress

Updated on February 25, 2017

Fauntleroy paced back and forth in the Royal chamber. The camouflage phone pressed to his ear. “Four billion? Yes, we can do four billion. Place that illegal drug cash with our man in Dubai. I can use it to build my Dubai Towers and Resort. I’ll get my contact at the Lebanese Canadian Bank to draw up a loan; we’ll buy used cars with the cash and send them to West Africa. Once you sell them you can bring clean money back into your accounts through the shell companies we set up. OK, I’ll wait for word from Metrovichky.”

Fauntleroy looked around for Flossy. Next to her bed stood a steely eyed robot with red l.e.d.s flashing. He moved and sat at his desk. He picked up his Sharpie pen bought from Amazon Ukraine.

Writing the Speech

“It has been an exciting four weeks since I was swept into office by the biggest margins in the history of voting. Ninety percent of the people voted for me. Ninety percent is big, almost the biggest. Those other percentage points were bought by Democratic sympathizers and illegal voters. Right here in my pocket, we have proof.”

He made a note in his script to pat his pocket.

“You Democrats might as well get up and leave the chamber."

Another script note. Entry of armed men with military uniforms, without insignia, faces covered, enter and escort the Democrats out.

"We will just record your votes as ‘No’ votes. No need to waste the true American Patriots time with your whining about how you lost. You are losers, that is why you lost. We are winners, the rest of us in this room are the masters of the universe. See what happens when you let those people vote. Our will be done, do you hear me, our will be done, here as it is in heaven.”

“Starting Monday, Russian will be taught in our elementary schools. Teachers who cannot speak Russian might as well stay home. Go down to Home Depot and buy a broom. We, out of the goodness of our hearts will give you street sweeping jobs. Too bad the circuses have all closed down. Any of you lower than a dog, immigrants that speak Russian; we are offering discount coupons for Green cards. See the local elementary schools for details.”

“The new public elementary school uniforms are being worked on by Model T’s new companies. Black boots are available now in all sizes. Available at all retailers except Nordstroms. We start immediately creating soldiers for our army against the barbarian hordes that are amassing on our borders. Only I and I only can gather the supreme forces of Good to stop them. I will General the Army and Admiral the Navy and fly point with the Air Force in this the most worthy of crusades.”

“Our new Nation will be clean and safe. Women will, once again get to stay home. They will tend to the wishes of their families and the needs of their husbands. Men will once again be masters in their own homes. There will be tricycles on the sidewalks once again, as it will be safe to go outside. There will be new Chevrolets in driveways, as the high tariffs on Toyotas and Nissan vehicles will keep them out. Women will be dressed, like ladies, with hemlines that go to the mid-calf. Again, Model T is taking care of you ladies, and her clothing is on sale now at retailers near you.”

“Of course all these new plans cost money. Rather than ask Congress to pass appropriation bills, we gathered the heads of all the banks. As of midnight last night all funds in banks have been frozen. All 401s, IRAs, 529-Bs, all savings and checking accounts will be absorbed into the General fund. New World orders cost money. After all, how long can we here in Washington keep snapping our fingers and creating money out of thin air. At first, there will be a certain amount of dissatisfaction. There will be pain and dark days. There will be hunger and despair. All these things are common throughout the world. But I am going to bring them here. But you will see, if you trust me and my henchmen things will get so good, that America will be Great again.”

“OK, Republican, let's get to work. And don’t forget Fauntleroy in 2020 and beyond.”

The Gallery

In the gallery sat two journalists from the Washington Pester. Their names are Carl Woodstock and Bob Barestones. They are working on a trail of money laundering between looting Russian gas and oil moguls, rogue nation bankers, and the resort hotel and casino businesses operated throughout the Western world.


This is a work of fiction. No National Deconstructionists were consulted in the manufacture of this fictitious piece of satire. No destroyers of the administrative state were involved in its creation. No New World Order rationalist thinking influenced the writing. No maniacal focus was needed to render the words into comprehensible sentences. No individual freedoms were trampled in the name of untenable utopias.


Deconstruction of the United States government, weakens our standing in the world. As deconstruction progresses, our enemies become stronger and will begin to test our weaknesses. Loosely conjoined States do not comprise a nation. America has adopted many ideas from other Western nations of the world and that has brought us progress. It is progress that lifted all of us. There is no rolling back time to some feudal system long discarded.

Why would any American call for a New World Order, when America is on top of the world right now?

Economic Nationalism

is not


Here is your Russian connection. Deeper than we thought.
Here is your Russian connection. Deeper than we thought. | Source

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Money - Pink Floyd + Lyrics

The O'Jays - For The Love of Money (Audio)


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    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello cam8510 - I think his connections to Russian money are deeper than we will ever find out. He is certainly not acting like he has American interest in mind. .

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 15 months ago from Missoula, Montana through August 2018

      If your figure of 47m and mine of 7% of Americans are both correct, then I do think he must be texting in Russian, the native language of most of his tweeters.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello cam8510 - That is a damn good question. The POTUS has something like 42 militant million followers on Twitter. That is why he keeps them stirred up.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 15 months ago from Missoula, Montana through August 2018

      Does Fauntleroy tweet in Russian? By the way, did you know that only 7% of Americans tweet?

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - Republicans are waging a war against the voting process as their secret motto is winning is everything. They are organized as seen at CPAC. So you can't sit back. Of course there is never a need to speak anybody in the current administration's name. I would make their footprint on history very small.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 15 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I've stepped back from the madness, ever since our King banned the Washington Post from the briefing. That, I believe, will be his undoing. I'm counting on the Post to work tirelessly until they find enough wrongdoing to get this jester impeached. In the meantime, until that happens, I'll just read some great articles by some great writers, like yourself, and dream of better days.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - Yes, a voice of reason, in a sea of madness. I think the president has surrounded himself with fools and zealots, and as those voices start to lose influence, we may find ourselves with "just" republicanism as usual.

    • profile image

      Genna East 15 months ago

      So true, Mike.

      McMaster stated this recently, thank goodness!

      "At an all-hands meeting of the National Security Council on Thursday, Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster said jihadist terrorists aren't true to their professed religion and that the use of the phrase "radical Islamic terrorism" doesn't help the US in working with allies to defeat terrorist groups, an official present at the session confirmed to CNN."

      A sane, intelligent voice, at last.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - We have seen direct contradictions to what the president says, and his representatives in the field. Notably Mattis saying we are not in Iraq to steal their oil. One of them said that there would by no us of military forces to around up immigrants. Yet the I.C.E. agents look and act like military personnel.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 15 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Hi Mike. Yes, they do. And unlike Flynn, they are both respected scholars. Thank goodness. This should result in some interesting "debates" between them and the White House. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when those discussions take place behind closed doors.

      Happy Sunday.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - I agree, in principle, with you. The Generals seem to speak as Americans, which should be the minimum, but yes, I will take it. I heard a comment from a former Intelligence Agency analyst that said, something like, internally at the White House resembles a clown car. So, I get my smiles where I can.

      Happy Saturday evening.

    • profile image

      Genna East 15 months ago

      Hi all. Thank goodness for Mattis and McMaster...for example McMaster's recent comments on the definition of Jihadist terrorism. Thank God...both of these men have a mind and think! This may be a small glimmer of hope in overall scope of things, but I'll take it.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi mar - There are reports the a Democrat prankster passed out those flags. As much as I hate the alternative facts crowd, I am going believe that is true. I am going to believe it because if that is not true, the truth is too horrible to stand.

      When I told my brother about the picture, he said the same thing, "I don't want to see it." If only ALL the news was not fake, I could figure this out. (Little repulsive joke there.)

      OK, enough, - now, think, smiles and sunshine, puppy dogs and summer ice cream cones.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 15 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      "Here is your Russian connection. Deeper than we thought..."

      There are some pictures I wish I'd never seen - this is one of them. Yet it speaks volumes.

      The steely eyed robot is my fav in this series... although it is slim pickins' for sure.

      Listening to "money" - which may be as close as I get to it. ;)

      Wishing you and our friends here a Happy Saturday. Hugs, mar

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Martie - Fear is their only propaganda weapon. Historically, every tyrannical leader has been toppled by the very people they suppressed. Penniless peasants have started rebellions that changed the course of nations. My message to you is not to be afraid. There are plenty of soldiers old and young, in uniform and in civilian positions ready to stand up to tin soldier tyranny.

      We are seeing it already. In the streets and the ivory towers.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 15 months ago from South Africa

      Oh, Fauntleroy's megalomania is busy blocking my view on reality. As hard as I am trying to comprehend, trying to see and appreciate him through the eyes of his fans, trying to give the devil its due, I am losing hope.

      His approach towards all matters, including fake media that is actually real media, and everything else that is fake as well as real, remind me of Henry VIII. We are going to see major, devastating changes during the next 4 years. Hopefully he will be impeached before next year this time.

      Why, I wonder, does mortal humans have to experience leaders such as Stalin, Hitler, Mugabi, Zuma, Fauntleroy, etc. etc.? The lessons they teach us seem to be on the same level than those we learn when watching a movie about Frakenstein. Useless! Only purpose is to scare the living daylight out of us. They were, are, and will be again.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy – Thank you. I am still trying for humor, but this episode leaned more to the dark side. It is a strain to write Fauntleroy and Flossy and then produce a The Carriage Driver, that is supposed to be inspirational, with warmth and good cheer toward our fellow man. It is a tough bridge to cross.

      As always, thanks for the blessings.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - That buying a new car thing must be 'in the air.' My youngest drives a new car. My brother just bought himself a 'toy' it cost more than my first house or my second house. But I have always been poor and never really cared for money.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna – To me it is quite clear that a brotherhood of nepotism and greed has swept through the halls of power in Washington. They wave the flag, shout God and country and then sign bills, or EO’s that allow big companies to pollute our water and soil our air. They green light pipelines, through our country moving fuel from foreign lands to foreign lands. Their intentions are clear – the people from red or blue states mean nothing. The chosen people will suffer right along side of those with more far reaching vision.

      The resent intrusions to persuade FBI and DHS to publish findings that fit their stories/policies, to me is treason. That DHS’s findings directly contradict the position of the administration at least shows that the whole barrel is not spoiled.

      I was trying to name the (a) scandal, but have not found one suitable. I tried Putingate and Crackergate, but don’t think those will fly.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 15 months ago from Texas

      Mike, this is my favorite in this sires, and I love the way you are exposing the behind the scenes shenanigans.

      Ruby is right, these are dangerous time, and our sons must be friends, but he is beginning to see some light.

      Blessings my friends

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Patty - My high school offered Spanish and German, if they offered Russian, I was not aware of it. I was not, and am not a good student. I learned a bit, but all self directed. It does show. All times are dangerous, all politicians want to feel important. One of the ways they do that is the tough talk. You have to admit, this new group is expert at the scowling faces. No street mugger would dare approach Fauntleroy or Con Con Connie out of sheer fear. I agree the number one goal of Fauntleroy is to double or triple his wealth. . Nесчасть nam быть! (Woe to us!) Exactly

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 15 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby – It is our adult children that will bear the brunt of this. Don’t get me wrong, many seniors are going to suffer. Many seniors may become large burdens to their children. As a country we seem to have lost our sense of history. We seem to be losing the bond that for all the years I have been on earth we felt for ourselves as a Nation. The breaking us apart into them and us has intensified over the last twenty years. We have arrived at a turning point, and we are not in good shape to handle what seems right in front of us. Twenty years of hate talk radio have taken its toll on us as a country.

      I think the news should keep pushing and reporting, but stop calling them by name, just titles. Their names should quickly disappear into the waste bin of history.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 15 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Thanks Genna. I hope you are right about my son. He and his wife were on their way to Jonesboro, ar. to buy a new Buick CRV. He's thrilled with the stock market hike! From what I hear many people feel that times are the best ever for buying expensive cars, etc. When I warned him about overspending, he laughed and told me to loosen up and enjoy the good times! That old cliché comes to mind here. " one can lead the horse to water, but you can't make him drink. "

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 15 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Hi Mike. Wow...this is quite a powerful installment. And what a parody that rings so uncomfortably close to the truth. The masters of the universe; the black boots; the misogyny; Russian taught in schools; how people can say goodbye to their life savings -- again; and I loved the reference to Woodward and Bernstein (WAPO and Watergate). Write on. :-)

      Ruby, please don't worry about your son. With patience and time, he will connect the dots. He strikes me as a caring person, and he has you for a Mum. Hugs.

      Patty, you and Ruby are spot on regarding dangerous times. And I fear you are right about that empire. The Trumpian Dynasty.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 16 months ago from USA. Member of Asgardia, the first space nation, since October 2016

      Middle school let us study Russian, but the state denied our schools to teach German, because leaders felt all Germans evil until the 1990s. More such nonsense is coming soon.

      Looks like I'll have people to practice Russian with again shortly. I agree with Always Exploring - dangerous times. POTUS wants to own a larger empire, not lead a country. Nесчасть nam быть! (Woe to us!)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I'm listening to Pink Floyd as I type. My son just called me, laughing about CNN being barred from Trumps' news conference. I asked him if he'd ever heard about Hitler's ban on the media before and during WW2. I still do not think he connected. We are living in dangerous times and people do not see it. This piece is scary and so close to the truth, yet good people still chant " USA-USA " It looks like Ivanka is more involved in foreign affairs, according to the LYING news media. Keep writing!


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