Evading Dragons, Part Nine: Deer Style

Updated on June 5, 2018
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Mike is a delivery driver and extremely amateur writer living in Lakemore Ohio south of Akron, Ohio.

Moose or Zebra?

The two watched the animal as it ate grass and watched them. Lars asked, “what is it?” Hester said, “I think it’s a moose or maybe a zebra.” The deer stood by and watched the two men talk about it. Hester said, “I don’t know what to make of it or out of it. The blood would attract a dragon or the dogs.” Spot walked over to the two as they stared at the deer. He pulled them to leave all the while he watched the deer. The deer could smell something different about the small human. He had a dog smell to him. The three humans slowly moved away as two other deer watched. The deer turned to the other deer and said, “yeah you better run, or I’ll go all deer style on you.” One of the other two deer said, “you tell them Toss. Yeah, let’s kick their butts.” The third yelled, “deer style.”

Baltimore is for the deer

The three-deer met as the humans slowly moved away. Toss looked back at the humans and asked, “I wonder where they are going?” The second deer going by the name Left Hoof said, “as long as its away from us then what does it matter.” The deer made their way to the city. After the dragons cleared out the city of Baltimore, the deer moved in. Dragons didn’t like the taste of deer, and the dogs learned to stay away from the city. Over the years the deer developed a society. They also grew to be aggressive with their protection of what was theirs. The deer would kill anything that comes their way. Even the migrating dog packs knew to stay away from Baltimore. The third deer was called Tag. He asked, “what was with the smell on that human faun? It was more dog than a man.” Toss said, “I heard talk about some humans living with the dogs like well you know.” Left Hoof made a face then said, “nasty pink things, why can’t the big lizards just kill them all.”

The Ladies

Inside the city limits, the deer let down their guard. Toss saw a pretty little doe he had his eye on for a while. Left hoof said, “hey Toss somebody has their eyes on you.” The doe was with three other doe and was laughing and talking about something none of the bucks could hear. All the while the one doe kept looking back at Toss. She finally walked over to him and said, “hey toss.” Toss asked, “so, are you feeling the little deer inside today Brown Tips?” Brown Tips asked, “why, are you looking to put your little deer in me?” Left Hoof fell backward laughing while the other doe yelled, “you go doe, deer style.” Brown Tips didn’t wait for an answer she leaped away toward the city limits. The other doe followed with one of them stopping and nuzzling Tag in the cheek. Left hoof asked, “what are you waiting for?” He nodded to the fleeing doe and said, “it’s the long antler that dies alone.” Toss thought about the old saying how it meant that if you wait for the best rack, you will let the best doe get away.

Deer Games

The day became a hide and seek between the bucks and the doe. Toss started to worry that the game was moving away from the city and into areas known for killer dogs. Some of the dogs lived on the outskirts of the city waiting for a stray deer to venture out and become dinner. It was a rule that no one went out of the city alone. Toss felt a light tap on the back end where he found Brown Tips who walked up to him and nuzzled his neck then his nose. She said, “we aren’t getting any younger and having a mate you choose is better than have one chosen for you.” Toss said as coy as possible, “and why do you think I would choose you?” Brown Tips said, “no, I chose you, and that is how it is Toss.” She nuzzled his neck again, and he returned the favor making sure not to hit her with his antlers. Off in the distance, they heard a scream.

Attacking Deer

Four dogs had Lars, Hester and Spot surrounded. They were big and starved with the three being in the worst possible place. Brown Tips turned her head saying, “I can’t watch this.” Toss nodded to Left Hoof who nodded to Tag. The largest of the dogs moved in for the kill when a large buck struck from the side impaling the dog and tossing it up in the air. One of the others moved in when a second deer struck knocking the dog down and smashed its head with a dark red hoof. The last two dogs backed away as a third even bigger deer came from behind and said, “tag your it mutts.” The dogs jumped and ran for their lives as the deer jumped up and down yelling, “deer style.” Toss looked back to Brown Tips. He knew that he was in with her. He was feeling the little deer that lived in every buck and doe. That faun that never forgot how to have fun.

Deer and the city

Finally, the deer turned to the humans. The younger of the men said something in a human language that the deer didn’t understand. Toss was sure he had said thank you, but he wasn’t sure. The three humans slowly walked away watching the deer and for any dogs. Toss wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard the human fawn say, “deer style” in the deer language but how would he know that. What he did know was that they protected their home and he was getting lucky tonight. When they finally met up back with their group, Hester and Lars told them that Baltimore was for the deer and the deer could have it.

Could a city be taken over by Deer?

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