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Dear First Love


To my soulmate and twin flame

Dear First Love,

It wasn't love at first sight. But you caught my heart at its most active and weakest moments.

For all these times, I can still remember what I see beyond those beautiful eyes; A soul as deep as the mystery of the universe. That smile of yours that never fails to flutter my heart even when it has no wings. And for like a lifetime, all I dreamt was to wake up each morning looking at those beautiful eyes and smiles.

Your voice sends me to the sweetest melodies on earth that comforts at a distance from the cruel noises that surround me. Something in your tone calms my demons, and my storms become rainbows.

I have the most reliable memory of your presence that made me feel safe among the monsters that surround me. Because when I am with you, my monsters became bridges to a new world.

Photo by Johan Mouchet on Unsplash

Photo by Johan Mouchet on Unsplash

Along the time that passed by, I walked barefoot on earth alone looking for your shadows and reflections hoping they might save me. I fought the monsters and demons alone, but every time I lose, a part of me is stripped apart.

My mind never ceased to wonder how your embrace would actually feel right now when all my world shakes in catastrophe. My skin hungered the electricity of my soulmate’s touch.

I am torn, I am wounded, I am broken, and I have nothing.


But my first love, your passion become seeds painfully planted in me to feather my naked self. A bird is reborn from its ashes of doom.

I will never be able to witness how that eyes shine with love, nor how that smile heals a broken heart, and that touch that saves a raped soul, but the memories will be my shield. So that when I fight my old and new demons, it’s your love that covers me now.

Are you imprisoned in my mind? Or am I chained on my emotions?

You were not able to save me before, how can you keep me now?

If I could turn back time, I would have never let you go.

Every thought of me, every candle lit as a prayer for me, every memory I still have from you, and every time you whisper my name become a strand of strength and wisdom for me. My monsters are once again bridges to another world to conquer.

And this time, you have saved me.

But, is it too late to be with you now?