Skip to main content

A Junkyard General, Part Eight: The Fifty Chihuahua Army

Mike is a long-time supporter of procrastination and enjoys doing as often as he can.



Twelve looked over the hill at the sight of ten large dogs as they moved in on the deer he and his pack had been following for about an hour. Twelve, fourteen, and Sixty-Eight were scouts, and it was their job to find new threats and report any information to the fifty Chihuahua army. Some of the chihuahuas had been running in a pack even before the human world ended. Most people didn’t know about the pack of feral Chihuahuas living in the Appalachian Mountains. They followed the seasons as well as their game, learning how to live without their human masters. As they traveled, they gained new members, and when the world ended, they became the army. In the month between the world ending and the army finding Rex and his pack, they learned how to work as a team copying the actions of the squirrels overwhelming their pray.

The army came up behind Twelve and stared down at the big dogs and the deer. The Twenty-Three took his position, and with a wag of his tail, the others took their place. Twenty-Three arched his back and yelled, “charge.” The army moved as one appearing as a massive wave of liquid moving in the tall grass. Eighty-Four yelled, “kill the deer…... kill the deer.” As they passed the other dogs, Twelve looked into the eyes of one of the bigger dogs. He winked at Rosie then turned to war. The mass of dogs swarmed over the deer, knocking them over, ripping flesh and showering the ground with blood. Tac had nightmares like this when he was a puppy. Swarms of what he was taught to call bait dogs working together to take anything in their path down. Ari said, “what wonderful art they make brother, what wonderful art.”


The Fifty Chihuahua Army

Twelve asked, “so your name is Ari, and your brother’s name is Ari?” Arie said, “no, my name has an E at the end, so you pronounce it Arie with an emphasis on that E sound like R Ee.” The army had made short work of the deer with twenty of the Chihuahuas surrounding Rex and the others. Twelve had moved in and asked for their names, rank, and loyalty. Rex said their names. He said, “as for rank…… Arie kind of smells funny, but that might be his need to piss on everything….., but if you mean like the human military, we have no official rank.” Rosie said, “if you want our leader, that would be Rex.” Twelve said his name and how he was third in command, but he couldn’t say more without permission from Twenty-Three. He said, “we are The Fifty Chihuahua Army.” Rosie looked over the mass of dogs counting. She asked, “but there has to be more than eighty of you?” Twelve said in a whisper, “don’t bring up the name…. we took it when there was just fifty or so of us, and we don’t want to change it. Also, I think Twenty-Three got tired of all the needless counting.

Twelve turned to Rosie and asked, “so baby…. How's the view?” Rosie chuckled. She walked over to Tac and put her paw on his back then brought it up about four inches. She said, “sorry, little doggie, but you have to be at least this tall to ride this ride.” Tac turned and saw where her paw was, and he was just shy of it. He said, “nice…... very subtle.” Twelve said, “baby, it doesn’t have to be like that. I’m a good dog, not some nasty Dobie or kraut ankle biter.” Zwei turned and said, “Hey!” Twelve quickly responded, “eat whatever you like, just leave me, and this tall drink of dog goddess to ourselves.” Rex said, “this isn’t going to end well for you.” Twelve responded, “never count out a dog on a mission.” Twelve stood at attention as a slightly larger darker coat Chihuahua came over. The other dogs went into a formation of sorts. Rex thought about their names and the name of their pack, the fifty Chihuahua army.


Left in the Woods

Twenty-Three told them about their beginnings with a dog breeder that released a small pack of Chihuahuas into the woods after he lost his license to breed animals. Their story was familiar to Rosie, who spent most of her life as a dog incubator. He said, “we became less valuable to the human, and he didn’t want to pay to feed us…… we learned the hard way how to take care of ourselves and how to be all that we could be.” Rosie asked, “what’s with the numbers for names?” She decided to ignore the looks from Ein, Zwei, and Drie. Twenty-Three said, “our mother…... the mother of the original pack was just named One by the human. To honor her, we took up numbers for names in the order in which we joined the pack.”

Rex told Twenty-Three about their mission to find Jimmy and Jenny. He said, “I think somethings coming, and that something will wipe us all out. They promised the deer a utopia, but I think that was a lie, and when they come, all that will be left is death.” Twenty-Three said, “we fight for a time when we can have our place we could call home. We think that humans are on their way out, and when they go, the dog will be the masters of the world. When that happens, we want the big dogs to know we aren’t to be taken lightly or dismissed as small.” Twenty-Three looked to his army than to the ones that fell against the deer. He said, “We lost so many to the other animals making it difficult to trust……… but I do trust what you’re saying, and I can see a place for us in this war.” Hans asked, “war?” Twenty-Three smiled and said, “yes, a war that could be our last or our greatest achievement, a war for our very survival.”


The Farm

Anette Smyth sat by the window in a closed-off part of the house so she could look out without light showing to the outside. It had been about a week since she operated on the boy Jimmy and his back was showing signs of improvement. He could walk, but it would be some time before he could be on the move again. Much to her sister’s chagrin, it was clear that Jimmy and Jenny were a couple and meant to stay that way. It was also clear they intended to leave as soon as they could. Jenny suggested they come with them, but this was their home, and she and her sisters planned on defending it until their last breaths. It was Anette that saw the first of the dogs approach the house.

Jenny lay on her back with Jimmy on her side, helping him stay in a position. She liked being close to him like this, and she could feel he liked it as well. Tina came into the room and over to Jenny. She whispered, “you have to come and see this.” Jimmy asked, “see what?” Tina ignored him as she lightly pulled on Jenny. Tina pulled the blanket away to find Jimmy had his hand up Jenny’s nightshirt, and they were doing more than just lay there. Tina said, “you two can play touchy-feely later…... just come with me now.” Jenny slid away from Jimmy, helping him lay on his stomach as she pulled away. She went out the door to the others as they stood on the porch. She looked out on a sea of small dogs. A larger dog in the front walked up to the steps. Rex asked, “Jenny?” Julie whispered, “did that dog just talk?” Rosie responded, “talking dogs; that’s just crazy.”

© 2019 Michael Collins aka Lakemoron

Related Articles