God Says Love is More Than Butterflies: How to WIN at Marriage
The Three Golden Guidelines of Marriage
Adam and Eve Received marriage as a gift from God. Adam and Eve were created perfectly for one another. Marriage was not created into existence due to a culture, or for convenience. Marriage was instituted by God. Marriage has three aspects.
- The man is supposed to leave his father and mother, and in an act that is public, promise himself to his wife.
- 2. The man and his wife agree to take responsibility for one another’s welfare, and to love that partner above all others
- 3. The man and woman become ‘one flesh’, and this occurs when sexual union and intimacy that is supposed to only occur in the union of marriage. A marriage that is strong has all three points.
Marriage is a Gift from God
Genesis 2: 18-24
This scripture mentions that marriage is an idea, a gift, from God.
In this scripture, God mentions that a man shouldn't be by himself. While he made the man fall asleep, one of Adam's ribs was removed, and the woman was created with this rib. God goes on to say that a man becomes 'one flesh' with his wife due to this, and he is to leave his parents. Getting married, it’s more than just butterflies in your stomach. It’s a plan, a commitment, that both make. The goal is to become ‘one’, not just to be friends.
Commitment is Essential For a Marriage to Succeed
Genesis 24: 58-60
This scripture mentions that commitment is important for a marriage to be successful.
A few things happened in this love story between Isaac and Rebekah. When Rebekah found out that Isaac was headed her way, she did two things that were considered custom at that time. She got off her camel to show her respect, and then she put a veil over her face, much like many brides do in these modern times. Rebekah was called and asked if she would go with 'this man'. She said she would, so she went with him, and she was blessed because of this.
Romance is Not Dead in a Christian Marriage
Song of Songs 4: 9, 10
This scripture mentions that romance is essential for a thriving relationship.
In this book, there are many, many examples of love, adoration and romance. One of the examples is when the author mentions that his heart was captured by her eyes. He even mentioned that her eye is like a jewel. Her love, to him, is delightful and he even says that she is more alluring than wine, and that her perfume is excellent to him, more than spices he is used to.
Marriage Is A Time of Joy
Jeremiah 33: 10, 11
This scripture mentions that the union of marriage is a time of joy.
God mentioned that in the Judah towns, and in Jerusalem, there would be desolation, waste and no animals and no people. He said that even though this was to occur, the bridegroom and bride would bring much happiness out of the darkness, and remind everyone that God's love endures forever. It should be an example that our love should be a light and example to others, especially to those in the darkness. Therefore, a marriage should inspire thoughts of hope, light and preserverence.
Children Need a Healthy Marriage Environment
Malachi 2:14, 15
This scripture mentions that raising children in the best way occurs within a relationship.
To the Lord, a relationship that is good, within a marriage, shows children what a great marriage covenent looks like. They see that you are faithful, and they see that you respect God with your body and mind. God wants offspring that serve him. The Bible warns to not cheat on the wife, especially the ones you had your first children with. If you have ever seen the movie Courageous, it shows what happens to youth if they don't have a dad. What happens if they are missing a mom? Even though many great children have been raised to become excellent adults in the modern world (without an ideal marriage within the life of the parents), it's more of a struggle than it should be.
Marriage Should Be Permanent
This scripture emphasizes on the permanent nature of marriage.
Again, men and woman, once marriage, are one flesh. Since God joined them to be together, they should not be separated.
There is No Room for Adultery in Marriage
This scripture mentions that when one is unfaithful, it completely breaks the trust that once existed. Trust is a relationship’s foundation. The Bible says that if a man divorces his wife, he has to give her a divorce certificate. But he should only divorce her for immorality that is caused due to a sexual nature. If he does cause her to divorce for this reason, he actually brings adultery upon her. And the Bible does mention that if a man marries a woman that has been divorced in this way, he is also committing adultery.
Death and Marriage
Romans 7: 2, 3
Marriage should only really be dissolved by death.
Interestingly, the Bible mentions that a woman is connected to her husband while he is alive. If something unfortunate, like death, were to happen to the husband, the woman is released from the law that brought them together, and kept them together. If she, however, has intercourse with another man while her husband is living, she is commiting adultery. If the husband ies, she is released and not an adulterer is she marries another man.
Love is More than Butterflies and should Reflect Christ's Love
Ephesians 5:21 – 33
This scripture talks about how marriage is based on love, not just feelings.
It says that the couple must submit to each other, for Christ. Wives have to submit themselves to the man they married, as they are to the Lord. The husbands are the 'head' of the family, the way Jesus is the head of the church. However, husbands are commanded to love their wives, the way Jesus loved the church and gave his life for her. This shows that a husband must also sacrifice himself, in a way. This scripture mentions that the husband must 'wash' the wife with the Word of God, and make her radiant. The scripture goes on to say that husbands have to love their wives in the same way that they love their bodies, as a man who loves his wife also loves his own self.
Marriage Is a Good Thing
This scripture has an emphasis on how marriage is an honorable act, and it’s a good thing.
Hebrews says that marriage is something that should be honored by everyone. The bed of marriage should be always pure, and Hebrews reminds us that God will judge those who practice adultery and those who are sexually immoral.
Marriage Should Not Be Awkward
In the beginning of the Adam and Eve story, they were not initially ashamed of their nakedness. They were not embarrassed in each other’s presence. After they sin, they felt awkward, and barriers were created between God and themselves. Marriage can experience these barriers in our modern day relationships. In a perfect marriage, a wife and husband have no barriers. They do not feel embarrassed or ashamed to be themselves, and really, they have no secrets. But since we came from Adam and Eve, and since we are not perfect, we put on barriers, much like covering ourselves with fig leaves. We have areas in our lives and in our beings that we don’t want our spouse, or God, to see. We hide, just like Eve and Adam hid from God. When two people are marriage, physical intimacy dies when there is a death in intellectual, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. In a similar manner, when we don’t talk to God about these dark areas in our lives, our lines of communication to God are broken.
We Probably Have a Past of Broken Marriages
God knows our hearts. He knows our pain. He knows where we have been wrong, and He knows when we have caused those wounds in our lives or in the lives of others. Even if we have failed in our lives, and past or current marriages, there is hope. If you have been married several times, and left a trail of tears or cried many yourself, turn to God and ask for forgiveness. The consequences of our past sin may follow us to the grave, but God's grace is greater than the pain, it's greater than the darkness. God's grace covers us in a world that wants us to wallow in misery and dispair. Remember, the goal of the Devil is to get us as far away from Jesus as possible. However, remember that the Devil has an expiration date. He knows his days are numbered, and that Jesus will win the war that's raging in the Spirit realm. Ask for forgiveness, pray today, pray everyday. Pray to be a new creation in Christ and heal your marriage. Decide to be a spiritual leader in your family. Decide to submit to one another. Decide to commit to one another, regardless of the problems that life brings. If you are not married, but plan to, make sure that your significant other is 'equally yoked' and also has an interest in Christ, God and the Bible. There is hope, even if we have 'messed up'. The past does not define us. We have hope in Jesus Christ. We can be new creations in, and through, Him.
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