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How to Choose Your Inner Circle

Rev. Margaret Minnicks is an ordained Bible teacher. She writes many articles that are Bible lessons.


Inner Circle: Definition

An inner circle is a small group of people who have something in common. It could be a group of friends, family members, or co-workers. The exclusive group can be a mixture of people as long as they have some of the same interests and goals. However, there are advantages to having people from the same group because they could talk about the same things, use the same buzz words, and understand the inside jokes.

An inner circle consists of only a few people who do a variety of things as a group. They are usually people taken from a bigger group. That's why it is called an inner circle.


Jesus' Inner Circle

Jesus could have had hundreds of disciples, but He chose only twelve men of low status. Most of them were fishermen. A tax collector was also included.

Within the group of twelve, Jesus had a smaller group. That smaller group was His inner circle that consisted of Peter, James, and John. They were all fishermen. James and John were sons of Zebedee, also a fisherman.

Peter, James, and John were with Jesus the longest, but that was not the main reason they became His inner circle.

Jesus knew all His disciples. However, he was more intimate with his inner circle. He took them with Him almost all the time. He told them things He did not share with the twelve. His inner circle was with Him on the Mount of Transfiguration (Mark 9:2–3) and in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night of His arrest (Matthew 26:36–38). Because they were with Jesus more than His other disciples, they became His closest friends.

Who Should Be in Your Inner Circle?

Your inner circle should consist of people you can trust and who can trust you. Only loyal, honest, and trustworthy people should be part of your inner circle in order for it to be a healthy one.

Everyone in a good inner circle brings something positive to the group. Every successful inner circle has people who are creative and agree to the mission, vision and guidelines of the group.

Everyone in your inner circle should be someone who is there to help one another. Selfish behavior is not a good characteristic for a healthy inner circle.

All people in your inner circle should be personal consultants and helpers for everyone else. Everyone should be positive and be able to get along with others.

Jesus had only three people in His inner circle and He was the fourth person. You should pattern your small group after His. Select a minimum of three so your group will have four people. Having a total of only six people in your inner circle would be enough. Remember, an inner circle should be a small intimate one. As far as inner circles are concerned, bigger is definitely not better.

Who Should Not Be in Your Inner Circle?

Your inner circle should not include anyone who is not loyal, honest, and trustworthy. Your circle will be doomed if you include negative people. Do not enclose egoistical people who think the world revolves around them. Having a troublemaker in the group would make everyone miserable.

Do not include anyone in your inner circle who is not of the same spirit as you. Neither others in your circle nor you will be happy with a gossiper in the mix.

People in your inner circle should lift you and everyone else up instead of putting anyone down. The person who has a habit of monopolizing a group does not belong. Someone who is a constant complainer is not one to be part of a group that wants to stay healthy.

Manipulators, bossy, and controlling people don't belong in your inner circle and no one else's inner circle for that matter.

Inner Circle vs. Social Circle

Do not confuse your social circle with your inner circle. Those are two different groups of people. Your social circle may be larger, but an inner circle is much smaller in order for it to be healthy.

You should spend more time with your inner circle than with your social circle. You socialize with them on some occasions, but that might be the extent of the relationship. You might not have a problem going to a dance or movie with someone in your social circle, but when it comes to having deep conversations, solving problems, and doing more meaningful things, you should rely only on your inner circle.

Those in your inner circle should be trusted, dependable, and reliable. They may include family members, friends, professional colleagues, or church members, but trusting them is a must no matter who they are.

For a healthy and successful inner circle, make sure everyone in your group gets along with you and everybody else. Otherwise, there will be friction within the group.