Charissa is a current student at Upperroom School of Ministry and has her bachelors degree in Worship Arts & Ministry.
Recently my heart has been feeling the weight of some shattered dreams and heartbreak.
On Sunday, there was a brief moment in worship we were singing about being seated in heavenly places.
I know that phrase usually has certain contexts and implications, but when I heard that phrase this time, the Lord gave me this image of my seat in heavenly places being in His arms, held by Abba.
In this vision, He held me close like a parent holds a small child and just let me cry.
As Abba held me, Jesus began to dance beautifully around us, and I could feel that His dance was a form of intercession, as He currently lives to make intercession for us. As I continued to cry, I heard Him say “it’s been a while since you drank” and the Father began to give me drink from a cup, which I knew was His Spirit, living water from the river that makes glad. He was giving it to me in the kind of way a nurturing parent would give a bottle; it served as drink but I felt strongly that it was also medicinal.He was slowly giving me His joy to drink that I may be made well again.
As He held me, He began to clear the clouds of the sky, point down to earth and show me some things He was doing in it. I didn’t see anything very specific in this vision, but I did see lights popping up across the globe, signaling movements of the Spirit. It was a bit of a “Come up here” moment, helping me gain perspective of all the good He is doing, the revival He is bringing and what I will get to be a part of.
After a few moments of this, I began to get up, brush off my emotions, dry my tears and put myself in the “get back to business” mode, deciding my circumstances weren’t that big or important in light of all He’s doing on earth and my getting to be a part of that.
It seemed like the right think to do; making a decision to focus on the higher things and show God where my priorities and greatest desire lies. But as I began to get up and do what I thought was the good thing to do, Abba got out a blanket and wrapped me up, making me stay in His arms a while longer, just to be held & healed, nursed back to health.
He wasn’t rushing me to push through my emotions and get back to work. He wanted me to remember the higher things, but He wasn’t using them to rush me through my process so I could be effective for Him. He’s wasn’t looking for me to prove myself and my great devotion to Him. He was just going to keep holding me and giving me the medicine of His Spirit until the time came where I was better.
As the vision continued, Jesus continued to dance around us, getting closer now, making physical points of contact, allowing His oil of joy to slowly begin to cover me. With each graceful movement He made, oil splattered on me like an artist splatters paint on a canvas. Though I was still crying, I could feel the oil begin to hit my skin and minister to my soul. Then, Jesus, seeing that my heart was still hard, injured and bleeding, spoke saying, “let me see that” and took it into His hands to heal it.
He didn’t touch it and renew it in an instant. The only thing He did was bring my heart close to His own. And it slowly, slowly began to heal up.
He doesn’t mind the slow process of healing.
He doesn’t need it to be all at once every time.
He enjoys caring for us.
He cares about our pain.
He wants to hold us, heal us.
He’s patient with us.
More patient than we are with ourselves.
He doesn’t ask us to suck it up and move on.
His goal is healing. His goal is wholeness. His goal is intimacy.
He likes the process.
He likes the nearness.
He likes being the one to lift our heads.
He likes being the one we lean on.
He’s a really good Dad and a really good Shepherd.