"The Lord Is My Strength"
Being a victim of narcissistic abuse is a traumatic experience, especially from your own family. Many narcissistic abuse victims struggle with their narcissistic families. Many victims feel trapped in a never-ending cycle of constant lies fed to them daily. This psychological, emotional, and mental abuse of narcissists makes the victim feel worthless, unwanted, ignored, and as if something is irretrievably wrong with them. Many victims of narcissistic abuse will feel like the "black sheep" of the family and will most likely become the "scapegoat." A scapegoat is a person who is blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others, especially for reasons of expediency. Nonetheless, the narcissist's ultimate goal is to make the victim feel unworthy and like an outcast in their own family. This type of manipulation and abuse eventually begins to stir up feelings of self-hatred, loneliness, abandonment, confusion, and rejection in the victim, causing it to affect their self-esteem and confidence in all areas of their life.
The narcissist parent uses the victim for their narcissistic supply to control and be worshipped. Therefore, the narcissist will use different forms of manipulation like gaslighting, enablers in the family, the golden child, triangulation, flying monkeys, etc., to sustain their power and attack the victim just for existing. The narcissist notices the victim by their attributes of being unique, having a quiet resilience, needing fairness, and the urge to speak out against any unrighteousness the narcissist displays towards others. For example, the victim will usually be the only one who speaks out against any form of abuse of other family members by the narcissist, causing the narcissist to redirect their attention solely to the victim as the culprit.
Are you a victim of narcissist abuse in your family or relationship?
"No Weapon Formed Against Me Shall Prosper"
The victim does not believe in bowing down to worship the narcissistic like other family members do out of fear and is targeted as the ultimate enemy in the narcissist's eyes. The victim becomes subject to destruction by all means. The narcissist convinces the family that the victim is the problem (scapegoat), which they'll agree with to shield themselves from attacks. The victim eventually becomes a shadow of themselves, forced into self-isolation to be taught a lesson that they do not belong. Many victims enter into a silent depression, screaming inside from the depths of their souls through their eyes, yet others pretend not to notice or care. Thus, other family members participate in gaslighting the victim and will unlikely speak up for them when they are mistreated. Eventually, the victim gets silenced into obscurity, where they become enslaved to the narcissist's needs and desires to protect themselves from being ambushed with violent verbal scenarios.
Suppose the victim attempts to gain any independence or freedom of expression from the narcissist. The victim is met with vicious attacks from the narcissist, which will cause them to spiral into a world of confusion, loneliness, and defeat. Nothing they do will ever please the narcissist, and they find themselves in a cycle of people-pleasing, hoping to receive the long-awaiting affection of a doting parent. Instead, the more victim tries to please the narcissist, the more they will get bombarded with insults like, "no one likes you in this family," "nobody cares about you," or "you don't have any friends." Or "you are strange fruit," "no one loves you, not even God or Jesus," or "why don't you find a boyfriend/girlfriend to help you?" These vicious attacks discourage the victim from being part of the family and make them feel unloved, unwanted, and worthless. Unbeknownst to many, this is a form of spiritual warfare from a demonic spirit that has hijacked the narcissist's body to steal your destiny, love, hope, and dreams from you and tarnish your relationship with God by making you feel unloved, worthless, and hopeless. The narcissist spirit is ultimately there to murder your soul. But we rebuke that in the name of Jesus Christ, and so can you!
" I Am More Than A Conqueror"
Despite the hopelessness most narcissistic abuse victims feel, I am here to tell you there is hope. Unfortunately, it won't be the perfect ending of your narcissistic parent finally accepting you or apologizing for all the hurt and pain they've caused. No, you won't feel the joy of being one big happy family you've been craving because, unfortunately, your narcissistic parent ultimately hates you. Therefore, you will learn that it is best to distance yourselves from these toxic individuals (even if you still live with them) emotionally, physically, and mentally to maintain your sense of wellbeing. Although it can be a downer coming to terms that you must avoid your own family, it is necessary for your mental and spiritual health. You will have to accept that you will not have a family you can run to for love and support. Instead, depending solely on building an intimate relationship with God will be your nourishment for survival.
How do you deal with the narcissist in your family?
"Jesus Is My Strength"
So although you may feel lonely in your family unit, use that time to build a foundation with God through Jesus Christ by prayer, reading your Bible, and meditating on scripture. These practices will help you familiarize yourself with His love and the promises He has made to you. When you depend on Jesus for love, support, and healing, you will no longer feel lonely, abandoned, or discarded from your family. Instead of holding on to resentment, bitterness, and rejection, you will feel called to pray for your family because Jesus will wash away all the stains of your heart, making it white as snow through His sanctification. Though you may still get triggered by not having a family that understands and support you, as you draw closer to Jesus, you will begin to accept that you have a family in Christ and know that He already loves and understands you. You must plant the seed in your heart to begin your healing journey of forgiveness, self-love, and a sound mind. This seed is produced by reading your Bible, praying, and fasting to rid yourself of family generational curses of the enemy. When you feel provoked by your narcissist family, it's best to disappear and replace it with how Jesus thinks about you. You can do this by memorizing scriptures of the Bible for inner reflection and healing. Below are eight powerful bible scriptures that you can learn whenever you are targeted by a narcissistic or plagued with memories of abuse.
God Calls You His Child.
1.) Exodus 15:2 – “The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.
2.) Job 5:21 – You will be protected from the lash of the tongue, and need not fear when destruction comes.
3.) 2 Samuel 22:3 – my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge, and my savior – from violent people you save me.
4.) Exodus 14:14 – The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.
5.) Psalm 139:14 – I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
6.) Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
7.) Isaiah 40:29 – He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
8.) Isaiah 41:10 – Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
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