Justus is a freelancer, content writer and English teacher. He obtained his Bachelor of Arts degree and TESOL certificate in 2020.
Nielsen's Lyrics Within the Post-Hardcore Band, Senses Fail, Consistently Inspire Me
Devastated by shame; I was so entrenched in pain. I found that hell is the absence of loving self.
— James Nielsen
Taking Life One Day at a Time
In a 1954 interview with journalist, Ray Josephs, renowned poet, Robert Frost, declared, "In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on." I've learned that this is true of all life including my own (despite that sometimes we can all become negligent of what is going on around us).
Some things require certain timing but I'm learning to become increasingly open with my feelings and honest with myself. Acknowledging one's addictions and seeking help are the first steps toward recovery.
For instance, I've struggled with a binge-eating disorder for many years and it wasn't until recently that I've been able to admit that my problem is an extremely serious one. I'm still coping but will be having further conversations with my doctors.
Ultimately, however, I know that I am in control of my actions. I've always struggled to maintain a healthy weight and often have feelings of low self-worth because I typically don't feel that I am living a good life (or that I am even capable of maintaining a stable job or serious relationship).
While we all perceive worth differently, I know that happiness will be found within myself. I strongly agree with Theodore Roosevelt's statement that "comparison is the thief of joy."
I could harshly blame myself for not having done more to change my circumstances but I believe that it's best to learn from the past, not to linger on it. It's been a slow and arduous process, but I've made progress throughout the years and I'm proud of the person I am.
Despite knowing that there are things I need to work on, I'm proud of my accomplishments; I'm proud of the friends I have, the path I've chosen, and the life I live. Still, there is so much I'd like to achieve.
I know that if I do my best to take small steps forward while remaining positive, I will continue to make progress (and that you can do the same).
Transformed and Vulnerable
life doesn’t wait
ostracized & unwise: struggle
through those despondent days.
life couldn’t wait
for me to lose weight
to drop the ice cream
for snapshots w/ Morrissey,
torments then transient
before I found faith
before you lost health
before we knew death
(so as Nielsen suggests);
sow your open chest
w/ seeds of love & ambition
so that you may one day be:
transformed and vulnerable.