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That Dream

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I closed my eyes to look into the future
To my surprise hope didn't display any picture
Every door was so firmly closed that only death can open one
A place from where come, to where go

A dream of a never ending suffocating dream
Then, I wondered why do I need hope?
Someone screamed, "hope is important for survival!"
Opened my eyes again to realize that without hope, death calls

Death called so loud that I decided to give up
A dilemma was waiting at the other end too
It demanded a sane give up to which I lacked courage
For it was too easy to die insanely

I lost the war with sane death and lived
But the brave ones won and killed themselves
As a redemption for losing a war
I continued to live another war with life

Things got me right through my head
And there I was in the hell of eternity
Then I tried to talk to my soul
But the head lost so close

Become this, become that
All the options were closed
With not a single talent nor a single quality
That's the reality not a self complexity

I belong to a depressed century where all cry
I separated myself from them and it struck my sanity
I think always but never about what I should
What I should think is already defined

So I wonder why I need to think what I should and not what I naturally think
Another dark matter recalled that it is not the natural thinking but the fearful thinking
Madness is all over me killing me slowly
Then I want to kill the creator of this word

For I couldn't be defined if these words wouldn't exist
For I couldn't be judged by these set principles
Sometimes there's a natural sad relief in this sadness
But most of the time there's unnatural pain Thanks to what has already been defined
I wish there was no definition
For it would have been a little better

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