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Yearning to Feel

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yearning-to-feel

It’s funny all those years I begged to die

And now that I’m dead,

I’m begging to be alive.

All those emotions, all that pain -

I just wanted it all to go away

And now I feel nothing,

Nothing but emptiness.

It’s insane.

I can’t remember the sorrow.

I can’t remember the joy.

But I can remember the stories.

I can remember the decoys,

The diversions,

The masquerades,

The fake smiles I smiled every day.

…And though my heart suffered,

Though I was barely alive,

At least I felt something -

Pain - life’s greatest compromise.

I was able to love.

I was able to learn.

I was able to cry and feel my heart burn.

Funny how such discomfort can turn into for what one yearns.

© 2022 Angel

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