The first time he told me he loved me, I did not believe him.
The car was speeding, and surely, so were his emotions.
The words came out of his mouth and crashed into my ears with no sign of caution.
These same words had been used by this same man on a different woman two weeks earlier.
I was given no time to fasten my seat belt, and prepare for an impact so heavy, my mind would be sent spiraling, while I used my voice, unaware, to repeat his words of love back to him.
When I found myself allowing these words to fall out of my mouth, I watched my lips hand him the keys to my trust, just so he could drive under the influence of another woman’s body in his hands.
He totaled my pride to protect himself from commitment, and walked away uninjured by this heart on collision.
All I wanted was to take his words, and spin them to gold. To wrap myself in them, and become high off of the fact that richness can be found, even in dead ends.
When he came to me after the crash, and told me he was drowning in a void of burdens, I asked to be his lifeboat. To use what was left of my weightlessness as a way to keep his head above water.
To balance; my mind out of the clouds, his body out of the sea.
From this he learned to use his words to form a protective barrier around my sealed soul, and unleash it into a lovers abyss. And now, I am slowly finding my way out.
© 2019 Xandra Lang