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Winter Blues and Frustrations

I'm an aspiring writer, poet, and author from the Philippines. Aiming to be a successful poet and author someday! :)

The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway.


Christmas Season is often a chilly season too.

In other parts of the world, they get snow fall.

It’s starting to feel like winter.

Rainy days and typhoon are highly expected.


What reminds you of a cold weather?

Maybe a cup of hot chocolate? Coffee?

Listening to your favorite vinyl song?

A love song for the broken hearted?

It’s getting a bit chilly.


What keeps you warm during this kind of season?

Warm cuddles with someone you love?

Alcohol and beers?

Or a multi-layered clothing?

Like wearing five various clothes at the same time.

Every morning, days are starting to get colder.


As the days starts to get colder,

There is a high chance of getting dehydrated.

So please keep yourself hydrated at all times.

Brace yourselves for the cold breeze,

Trying not to get any flu or disease.


It’s nice to have someone around.

May it be virtual or close contact.

Especially in this kind of weather.

Where early mornings and late nights,

Are so freezing cold, you can’t sleep well.


Recently, I found out

My body got so immune with the cold.

It’s now close to a frozen body of a deceased.

That’s how cold my body was.

Even when I sweat, it’s just like a moist but still cold.

The cold never bothered me anyway.

That’s what I thought and chose to believe in.


My body temperature would go below 36 if it’s too cold.

Ranging from 35-33.

I thought maybe the thermometer’s just gotten crazy.

But it might really be the case.

My body would ache so much if exposed to cold.

Cold food, cold drinks, cold temperature.

But cold food like ice cream makes me happy.

It cools down the mood swings I’m having.

It makes me stress free.


My cysts won’t thank me though.

I’m gonna be shivering in cold.

My back would keep hurting.

Am I just over reacting?

Even if I’m crying,

The pain will still remain.

I’ll still feel cold and nothing to keep me warm.


There are a lot more things that scares me.

More than being alone in this cold and chilly weather.

No one to talk to, no shoulder to lean on, no one to laugh with.

I desire those but there’s something more.

My senses and body is getting a lot weaker.

Maybe it’s just how I perceive and think about it.

Just couldn’t help it.


Another needle and blood test?

The needles are painful.

Even injected medicines are scary.

I’m scared of it but I have to face it.

I keep doing tests and scans,

Even if they aren’t going to give me an answer.


I’m not doing fine, I tell everyone.

But have to be since they don’t give a damn.

When asked how are you, just simply say I’m good.

Even when you’re completely not.

No matter how much you explain to them,

They’ve got no time to listen.


It will be fine soon.

They say.

Claim it that you are already alright.

They say.

Does it really work that simply?

Just eat properly in time.

Exercise and work out.

You’ll be fine.

If it’s that just simple,

I wouldn’t be suffering would I?

But it’s not.

Damages has been done.

It’s already chronic.

It’s not like you say sorry to it and it’s gone.

That’s just absurd.


Help yourself as no one else will.

I’m already trying my hardest.

As I already know the fact that,

I can no longer trust and depend on anyone.

They are all making a fool out of my situation and condition.


It will be a long winter season.

But I’ll make sure to see the spring.

One day I’ll be fine and will no longer need your prescence.

Treat me as a nuisance now, and you’ll be treated the same,

When you’ll need me.

No matter how much in pain you get,

I won’t bother believing you nor listen to your explanations.

For that’s the game you’ve been playing on me.

I’ll no longer plea.

You never listen anyway and just making me like a fool.


A fool you can ask to do things this and that,

To satisfy and pleasure you?

And when that fool did the exact thing you asked for,

You’ll change your mind and ask for something else.

That’s how dirty your tactics are.

Taking advantage of the person’s condition,

Because you are so full of yourself.

Shame on you.


It’s gonna be a tough road ahead.

But I just have to head on straight.

Fight until I make it.

No one will ever step down on me.

I’ve got my own rights, violate it and you’ll face consequences.

That’s what you deserve.


I’m sick and tired of this.

I’m physically, psychologically, mentally drained and exhausted.

But fine, let’s move on to the next.


End.



© 2021 Gianella Labrador

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