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Why Would Things Work For Me !!!


My Wife Struggles With Balancing The Checkbook

I watch my wife as her nostrils flair

Why won't this balance ?

As she shakes her head in despair

I don't know

How can I help ?

The checkbook balanced the other day

Let me help you ?

Instead you verbally push me away

Nothing you do will make a difference

Another set of eyes may see what you miss

I know how to add and subtract

Sometimes if you add up from the bottom you may catch yourself and your mistake

Defiant and stubborn she keeps trying

Now you are pressing harder and harder on your keys

Don't do that

She is taking her anger out on the keyboard of the computer

If you break it

We will have to pay to replace it

Tuning me out even more

Why me ? Why me?

I tell you enough is enough

Put it down and pick it up later

Maybe you are tired

Do you want to do it ?

I will leave it for you

That is fine

I want you to stay with it

Then you can find your own mistake and then take all the credit

I carefully watch you

Being hot headed is not a good quality

Please stop with the atttude

My wife continues on her little rampage

All I can do is support her

Give her comfort and help her fix her dilemma

There is no need to lose your temper

Getting mad does nobody any good

I have been doing the checkbook for years

I can do it

I can do it too

I don't prefer too

Now that's done

My wife found her mistake

What was it ?

My wife quietly says I missed a withdrawal

Problem solved

Of course your not going to apologize for your actions

Then you act like as if nothing ever happened

Now you change the subject

Even though I am not done talking about what just happened

It's over

It's done

If we talk about it

Then we can handle it different in the future

No comment

Silence in the room

My wife still won't listen to logic

I am not blaming anyone

I am just trying to get to the root of the problem

My wife says enough

I drop the subject

I wonder why you have to be so snippy ?

Why is it such a sensitive subject

I know if I was doing the checkbook

I am sure I would have problems from time to time

No big deal

I would turn to you for help

Instead of acting all crazy

I am showing you how a little problem can escalate to something much bigger

When it didn't have to

That's all for now

Talk again when the burning hot coals have cooled


DREAM ON (author) on November 02, 2017:

Nellieanna We all have our faults. I often look towards my own life and see all the things I should try to change before I want someone else to do the same. The bottom line is we have to learn to bend and help each other. My wife hears me she just is not ready to give up some of her old ways. Change happens when you least expect it and when it does happen it will be one more exciting time to talk about. In the meantime spending lots of time outside doing yard work in between our regular work and home life. I love the cool, crisp, fresh air. Thank you for all your insight and suggestions. Have one great day. Gypsy Rose Lee Learning and taking part even in the most difficult times make all the good times possible. I hope you are feeling better and are starting to do things that will help you in your current situation. Keep trying and even the smallest change has great results. Take care and I can't wait to see what you have accomplished and see the world of opportunities slowly emerge.

DREAM ON (author) on November 02, 2017:

Ann Carr I love being happy about life because we never know what tomorrow will bring. I am very optimistic that it will be lots more of what we had the day before. A good day can turn into a great day very easily. A bad day can turn better. I feel we have to be ready for so many unexpected surprises at any moment. Like a nonstop carnival with constant live action. There is one catch. You don't have to pay for the entertainment and you are in the center of all the action. Thank you for reading and sharing. A little late in all my responses. Very busy but liking to loving it all. Have a wonderful afternoon.

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on October 30, 2017:

Sometimes we just have to muddle through things until everything straightens out again.

Nellieanna Hay from TEXAS on October 27, 2017:

Oh, wow, Michael. That's such a real-life occurrence. I can feel your frustration with being unable to suggest ways the check-balancing problems could be handled more smoothly and with less anxiety and anger. Of course, to the one who is caught up in all that, it doesn't even occur how it sounds and affects others. Lashing out at whomever is standing there is like an overflow of the fury at the problem! The person’s only real focus is on the problem, which was, of course, what you were trying to help smooth out by suggesting letting it go for awhile and relaxing before tackling it again. It’s an impasse with little chance of being rationally addressed then, and no chance of being resolved then.

After she resolved it during the hubbub, it was pushed away and no further discussion of it was welcomed. That, too, is a typical aftermath of that kind of incident. Logic does not suddenly descend or become welcomed at that precise moment (if ever). She was happily vindicated by resolving it, though not too proud of losing control and taking it out on you, - while all you'd hoped was to discuss how the experience could be used to simplify the task in the future, - but no such luck!

Almost universally, offering logic to someone caught up in high emotion, including some embarrassment and possible regret for having “lost it”, is seldom, if ever, welcomed! In fact, some people NEVER welcome hearing more logical suggestions for solutions.

But, of course, when we care about people and can view their frustration when they are obviously beating their head against a brick wall, we'd like to be able to offer them reasonable ways for stopping then and simply avoiding that dilemma in the future or at least, recognizing it if it gets started and stopping it before it's out of control.

But, as I'm sure you realize, one can, at least, show example of not beating one's own head against a wall by trying to help when it's not being accepted or welcomed! A tough lesson, for sure.

Ann Carr from SW England on October 27, 2017:

I'm glad. Can't be doing with people who use crushing words.

I have wonderful sunshine here so your words have worked in sunny Somerset!


DREAM ON (author) on October 27, 2017:

Ann Carr You made me so happy. This is maybe the first time anyone in my life has ever used the line perfect. If they said that before I think I would remember. Those words are very special to me. I am speechless and forever grateful. I usually get a wide range of the opposite. What were you thinking? Who believes that? You have it all wrong. You have to grow up. The world doesn't care about you. I can go on and on but I think you get the point. Praise is richer than gold to me. It pushes me to new heights I never dreamed of before. Your encouragement builds worlds of dreams for me. Unfortunately in the past the people that I have known and loved have destroyed many of my dreams with many crushing words. I decided long ago to rebuild and keep rebuilding until they get tired of tearing down my world. Tears flow down my face of happiness. I just want to thank you once more. May the sun warm your heart and may it light up anywhere you can see. That's what you have done for me. Thanks so much.

Ann Carr from SW England on October 27, 2017:

Thank you. I have plenty of faults but we all muddle along together; tolerance and love are the keys.

Your philosophy regarding weeds and flowers is perfect!


DREAM ON (author) on October 27, 2017:

Ann Carr My wife can be really wonderful most of the time. Then there are times that she gets so mad or angry. I think how can she be so irritated in seconds when everything was going so well. Then I remember that is why we are all different and makes us unique. Instead of complaining about someone else and their problems we have but to look at our own. So I expand on what I see and turn it into a story/poem taking the tension of the situation and searching for a better outcome. The friends I have met here on HubPages are really amazing. I have met many people in my life and most of them drift on. There are a few that stick around. I look at friends like weeds. In a pile of weeds there are sometimes flowers. So to pull them all out you would lose the most beautiful flowers. By going weed by weed you see what is no good and get rid of it slowly. Then you find a wild flower that is so bright and beautiful that is like nothing you have ever seen. It is all worth it. Thank you for reading and sharing so much. We all have are faults and if we are smart we get to see what they are so we can change them and make them smaller. I hope your day brings you flowers of beauty as well as a happiness that can't be forgotten.

Ann Carr from SW England on October 27, 2017:

These sort of situations can be tricky! Determined to sort out a mistake oneself makes us tetchy. It's good to accept someone's help, I agree, as sometimes a fresh eye can see the error straight away.

Great portrayal of the tense atmosphere!


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