"Where I Am From/Unpleasant Pleasantness."

^{I am from fragments of memories and lost people.}

^{From holes in the wall, beer cans, and empty pill bottles.}

^{I am from false happiness and guilt.}

^{The kind that eats you up ‘till you scream “I’m so sorry,”}

^{even when it’s not your fault.}

^{I am from perfectly trimmed green grass, and calloused hands from climbing trees.}

^{I am from books with too many underlines, and from warm Mexican hot chocolate.}

^{I am from unpleasant pleasantness because I cannot enjoy things for fear they will disappear.}

^{I am from unhappy happiness because the people of my childhood}

^{Who I thought would still be alive are not,}

^{Or do not even feel alive.}

^{_{Occasionally,}}

^{_{I am from new year’s kisses.}}

^{_{The kind that makes}}

^{_{All the colors have flavors and sounds.}}

^{_{That makes them brighter, and more vivid.}}

^{_{From the beating heart of my best friend, who can give just one smile and}}

^{_{Banish all the darkness in my mind.}}

^{_{Who has been there since the start.}}

^{_{Whose love and loyalty,}}

^{_{I will never deserve.}}

^{Above anything else,}

^{I am from “unfitting maturity for a child,” and “you cannot save everyone.”}

^{From “It’s your fault,” “When are you coming back?” and “You should have known.”}

^{I am from the lies of “Always and Forever,” and “More Than Everything.”}

^{From stray cats and mailboxes without numbers.}

^{I am from ripped up suicide notes, and}

^{“911, what’s your emergency?”}

^{Where I’m from is not something I would wish on anyone else.}

^{Still, where I am from has made me: strong, brave, resilient, and}

^{Unhappily happy now.}