When Times Get Tough, I Eat The Biggest Bowl Of Ice Cream
I Know It's Not The Smartest Thing To Do
We are human
We all have our faults
Back to eating icecream
It tastes and feels great
No matter what time of day it is
Sometimes at 4 A.M.
I take a nice leisurely walk
Up to my refrigerator door
Opening it and looking all around
Knowing I don't see anything I like
Into the freezer I go
With much delight
My mouth begins to salivate
Like a dog at his cold water bowl
In the middle of a hot summer day
I reach my head right in
I know what I want
I know what I need
I came for my ice cream fix
I reach in the cabinet
Sometimes so excited I almost drop my bowl
I am so lucky it did not break
My heart would ache
I then reach in for a silver spoon
Not real silver
But who really cares
I go back in the kitchen draw
Pull out a gigantic ice cream scoop
With a huge blade on the end
That would give anyone on Halloween a great scare
I say I shouldn't
I couldn't
But I will
Digging in deep
I grab as much ice cream as the scoop will hold
Piling it in my bowl
Like a snowplow
Pressing it down
Making room for more
Scoop after scoop
Then when I feel I took enough
I get one more scoop
Just incase
In case of what?
I know I just opened the ice cream
There is still half left
I won't stop there
What is ice cream without jimmies
Those great little chocolate sprinkles
For those who don't know
I spread them on heavy
Like pepper on an ear of corn
Covering every inch and when not so sure
An extra sprinkle wouldn't hurt
I have to pull out the whip cream
I give a loud squirt
I do circles like a truck peeling out in the mud
My chocolate fudge ice cream now looks white
Round and round I go
Now I walk to the table
In two giant steps instead of four
I sit myself down
Look at the bowl real closely
Like I was inspecting a top secret document
Everything seems in place
Now I reach my spoon in
Yes, I boldly go where no person ever wants to go and fewer people will ever mention
Reaching for each tasty mouthful
Without regrets
Then the time comes
When I scrape the sides
For one last spoonful
I ate a real lot
I feel better
For now it was all about my ice cream rush
When I come back down to earth tomorrow
I will do what I have to do
Exercising a little bit more
So the pounds don't add up
Working off my sinister ways
