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When Times Get Tough, I Eat The Biggest Bowl Of Ice Cream

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I Know It's Not The Smartest Thing To Do

We are human

We all have our faults

Back to eating icecream

It tastes and feels great

No matter what time of day it is

Sometimes at 4 A.M.

I take a nice leisurely walk

Up to my refrigerator door

Opening it and looking all around

Knowing I don't see anything I like

Into the freezer I go

With much delight

My mouth begins to salivate

Like a dog at his cold water bowl

In the middle of a hot summer day

I reach my head right in

I know what I want

I know what I need

I came for my ice cream fix

I reach in the cabinet

Sometimes so excited I almost drop my bowl

I am so lucky it did not break

My heart would ache

I then reach in for a silver spoon

Not real silver

But who really cares

I go back in the kitchen draw

Pull out a gigantic ice cream scoop

With a huge blade on the end

That would give anyone on Halloween a great scare

I say I shouldn't

I couldn't

But I will

Digging in deep

I grab as much ice cream as the scoop will hold

Piling it in my bowl

Like a snowplow

Pressing it down

Making room for more

Scoop after scoop

Then when I feel I took enough

I get one more scoop

Just incase

In case of what?

I know I just opened the ice cream

There is still half left

I won't stop there

What is ice cream without jimmies

Those great little chocolate sprinkles

For those who don't know

I spread them on heavy

Like pepper on an ear of corn

Covering every inch and when not so sure

An extra sprinkle wouldn't hurt

I have to pull out the whip cream

I give a loud squirt

I do circles like a truck peeling out in the mud

My chocolate fudge ice cream now looks white

Round and round I go

Now I walk to the table

In two giant steps instead of four

I sit myself down

Look at the bowl real closely

Like I was inspecting a top secret document

Everything seems in place

Now I reach my spoon in

Yes, I boldly go where no person ever wants to go and fewer people will ever mention

Reaching for each tasty mouthful

Without regrets

Then the time comes

When I scrape the sides

For one last spoonful

I ate a real lot

I feel better

For now it was all about my ice cream rush

When I come back down to earth tomorrow

I will do what I have to do

Exercising a little bit more

So the pounds don't add up

Working off my sinister ways

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