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How to Save My Marriage After Trust is Broken

As a nationally certified and licensed professional counselor, Janis helps her clients resolve relationship conflicts and trust issues.

Saving a Marriage Involves Decision-Making and Renewed Trust

Couples need to communicate as they weigh the pros and cons of saving their marriage. Most importantly, they question their ability to trust again.

Couples need to communicate as they weigh the pros and cons of saving their marriage. Most importantly, they question their ability to trust again.

Broken Marriages Don't Have To End

There is nothing sadder than the end of a marriage. No one goes into the sacred promise of "til death do we part" with the anticipation that it won't last forever. From a spiritual perspective, the vow was intended to "cement" a commitment which is meant to be eternal.

Two people join together as a couple, choosing to build a life together based on shared hopes and dreams. Excitement and anticipation go hand in hand as they come together as one.

Investing in a home, starting a family, and enjoying the fruit of their labors together encompass the ideal of marital expectations.

  • The realization of the end of a union, blessed by God and witnessed by friends and family, can be one of the most devastating losses two people can experience. It is one of the most difficult losses for a couple to bear on so many levels.

The poem below details the emotional and painful impact of saying goodbye to a marriage gone wrong.

Poem About a Marriage Ending


"Love's End "


After all the love we shared,

Surviving pain and sorrow,

We never expected the end to come,

Unveiling our shattered tomorrows.


Opening up our souls and hearts,

We learned to trust and feel,

Sharing our deepest secrets,

Our true selves we slowly revealed.


Our connection was so bonded,

As snug as two peas in a pod,

Nothing could come between us,

A union blessed by God.


But something tragic happened,

Never did we expect,

That something that felt so right,

Could crumble like a car wreck.


The trust that we so cherished,

As sound as it had been,

Broke into several pieces,

A challenge we couldn't win.


Eternal love we thought we had,

Ours could never fail,

Laughing, crying, hugging, and sighing,

Like a fairy tale.


But as the harsh reality,

Hits us like a storm,

Our sad eyes tell the story,

As tears began to form.


As painful as it has become,

Love sometimes has to end,

I bid you, "Peace and farewell,

My lover and my friend.


(JLE 2006)

Before Deciding to End Your Troubled Marriage

The poem implies that a sacred trust was broken, accepting the end of the marital bliss.

  • Broken trust is probably the most difficult fault to forgive and heal from in a relationship.

If it comes in the form of infidelity, the odds are even greater that the couple can't heal from the hurt and betrayal.

However, in my experience, there are couples who do heal and choose to rebuild new trust. The following are factors that couples consider when deciding to rebuild:

  • Being human is a prerequisite for falling from grace and making the most egregious mistakes that harm marriages.
  • Human beings, in all their woundedness, have the capacity to fall short and hurt the ones they proclaim to love the most, without ill intent.
  • Tumbling off of the pedestal of perfection can happen to the best of us.
  • The emotional, financial, and career investments made in each other are worth saving.
  • Despite shattered ideals and expectations, new goals can be established and rules of the marriage can be reset.
  • Renewing the marriage vows can offer a fresh start through spiritual cleansing.

Before making the decision to end your relationship based on broken trust, take a moment to weigh the pros and cons. It may, for some, end up being the right decision. As the poem says, "Love sometimes has to end."

Or maybe not. Take some time to step back and re-evaluate your situation before making a "heat of the moment" decision that could very well impact the rest of your life. The investment you made in your marriage deserves a closer look before ending it sadly, only to have regrets later.

Staying Together to Save Your Marriage

If there's still hope, take the time to re-commit, work it out and recapture that marital bliss you once possessed.

If there's still hope, take the time to re-commit, work it out and recapture that marital bliss you once possessed.

Infidelity: The Reality of Broken Trust

A Marriage Worth Saving

© 2012 Janis Leslie Evans

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