When I Missed You

I kind of like it when you boss me around.

And when you told me you're the manager but I'm the boss.

And I like looking at your beautiful hand as you move the mouse around or staring at your forearm and how lovely it is in that braided wristlet.

I love looking at your eyes and how weirdly-appealing they are to me when they are deeper especially when you didn't have enough sleep.

Your strict-looking poker face scares me and makes me feel uncomfortable but I find it endearing at the same time and regretting that I have not been able to stare at your face long enough.

And how you make me restless making me look at another object compulsively like a digital clock to which you remarked "baka maubos yan".

Your simple humor that makes me laugh.

And your offers of help tht give me endorphin rushes like when you told me ituturo mo lahat ng nalalaman mo sa akin when it come to wrapping up.

And how you remind me to lock my computer and how you picked up my ID that fell on the floor. Like how did you even notice?

And when you told me that ants can't see.

And when you tugged my chair gently and I saw that it's you flashing that smile that I grew an addiction for.

And when you told me I find everything cute and I said "hindi kaya".

How I like seeing you contort yourself on your chair.

And how I feel jealous when you talk about other girls.

And that lighter and the look in your eyes that night.

And the times when I get to touch your hand.

Or those times when the sound of your laughter doesn't sound real.

And how all of a sudden I see you sitting beside me.

And how one time you're strangely warmer than usual and how it feels good being close to you like a bonfire.

Or when I turned on the lights in the training room which I would have rather not because I would rather be with you with the lights off.

Those times that I feel the strong urge to hug you but I have to suppress it because you might shove me away.

When you shouted "wala bang gustong tumabi sa akin!" and I really wanted to but I stopped myself.

When you seem to be asking me something but I can't hear you so I went closer putting my hand near my ear gesturing I can't hear then you suddenly moved towards me then I hurriedly retreated.

Or those times when you don't look okay and I want to ask you what's wrong and if I can help but I didn't get the courage to.

The tentative touch of your cold hand on my shoulder.

And I want to chase you but I won't let myself.

And the sight of you on your shirtlessness where my eyes guiltily wants to linger.

And you talking to me sprawled on your chair which gives butterflies in my stomach.

When you sing and I feel like putting my arms around your shoulder.

When it irritates me when you keep on playing that Usher song.

And the "I'm not fine at all" and how 5 Seconds of Summer look cute while playing the song live.

How I would like to ask you lots of questions about yourself but I don't want to be intrusive.

And how I imagine you listening to music and me sitting close to you and sharing your earphone.

How during my last days of work I wished I would bump into you.

And you make me happy.

And I'm sad that you're not around.

And I miss you.