Just Scattered And Difficult To See

There are many things people are good at

Then there are those things that we really do sock at

That maybe, it is who we are

We just don't like to do it

Don't want to do it or can't get the hang of it

We realize we could change

Instead we rather put our valuable time into something else

Like the stock market

That gives us the greatest return for our effort

I accept that feeling most of the time

Sometimes it is so hard to walk away

I feel confused and not o.k. in the head

I am not ready to move on

Then I don't really want to stay there either

I am in limbo

This could take awhile

I am not sure when I see the door opening

To give me a new chance at opportunity

I didn't have before

I wonder was that time when I really tried so hard

To make it all happen and work out

So close to a breakthrough or a breakout

If I stop now and cut my losses

Will it be wrong

I go with my gut instincts a lot

Sometimes the problem is so close to my heart

I can't tell the difference

I look around at other people

They don't seem to have the same drive

The same fortitude to press on

As I lose my sense of reality

I actually ask them what their opinion is

They give me the answer I expect

Just drop it

Don't bother any more

Forget about it

Then that has the opposite affect on me

It adds more fuel to the fire

If I disagree with so many of their choices

Then this is one choice that coincides with the rest of my thoughts

They answered my question for me

I answered my own question

I was right all along

So there has to be a way I didn't think of

So I am almost back where I started

Only this time, I am ready to give it another go

I have a quick burst of energy

Like an invisible energy drink

That I did drink

That gave me the power that I needed to continue on

Press on

Move quickly with great speed and diligence

Am I any closer to a solution?

I think so

Will it be any time soon

I am betting my last dollar

It is so much to risk for a chance

Putting it this way

I am forced to make it work

At all costs

Are these costs real or imaginary

See that is the secret

If I imagine them to be real

Tricking my mind in believing it is real

Then I can get the desired results

In less time and a world of less risk

So my inner battle rages on

For most people a computer game is good enough

For someone like me

From a different generation and a very different perpective

I am not a gamer

It looks like so much fun

I have so many other things to do

I might have to create a problem solving game

That I can get my desired outcome

At the same time help other people achieve theirs

My wife just shared with me something from Facebook

Having a rough day

Place your hand on your heart

Feel that?

That's called purpose

Your alive for a reason

Don't give up

So technology is something very special

Treated with the utmost care

It can bring so amazing things to the surface

It couldn't come at a more perfect time

I can't thank my wife enough

For sharing something so special

At the perfect time for me

It was just what I needed

Just when I thought I could do it on my own

I realized I was in need of help

Comments

DREAM ON (author) on February 13, 2019:

Gypsy Rose Lee Charlotte is relaxing and daydreaming while she is napping beside me. Giving me moral support while I write. Thank you for reading and sharing the ups and downs of every day. May you have a beautiful morning.

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on February 12, 2019:

Sid reciprocates and sends his sincerest meows and warm hugs to Charlotte for Valentine's.

DREAM ON (author) on February 10, 2019:

Gypsy Rose Lee Life is more about caring and sharing than just living every day without purpose. When I see people happy I am happy. When I see people sad I am sad. I wonder how to make these people happy. Many times the solution to the problem may be a lot bigger than me. Then I have to leave the situation and revisit it another time when I may be better equipped. Thank you so much for helping me think my ideas through. Seeing your comments gives me the energy to write a little more. Charlotte sends the warmest hugs and hearts to Sid for an early Valentines Day wish. Enjoy the sunshine.

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on February 08, 2019:

Suddenly things surprised me this week. All along I have been seeing days just zip by. This week I could account for each day and it seemed someone has put a big foot on the brakes. I wonder what that could mean and if it is a good or bad thing. Hope you and yours have a wonderful weekend.

DREAM ON (author) on February 08, 2019:

Tim Truzzy I am not sure were my words develop from. They even amaze me. I keep writing and growing as a person. I am sure there are some thoughts you might not want to touch with a ten foot pole. If you sift through dirt and take out the large rocks, grass, small pebbles and weeds you might be left with some good soil. If not try another spot.That's what I try to do with my writing. Hopefully something good will come from it. The readers can be the judge. Thank you for your continued support. Have a good night.