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I Can't Stand You

Author:

Mary loves being able to tell her story through her words, it allows her the freedom to voice her opinions without being silenced.

what-do-you-want-from-me-now

I can never make you happy

Nothing I ever do is good enough for you

Never thin enough, pretty enough, or smart enough

You judge everything I do

My soul aches for acceptance

I wish I could find peace from the sound of your laughter

I'm dying inside you make me feel hopeless

Why do you feed off my pain

Other people see the happy, cheerful version of me

Because it's what I want them to see

A pretty girl, with a painted face and a big fake smile

Acting confident so people think I love myself

But the sadness of my reality always creeps in

When I'm alone is when I come unhinged

My walls come crumbling down around me

You always end up staring at me on the other side of that mirror

That negative side of me that never seems to rest

How come I feel like I need you

When I know that's not true




Your the part of me that doesn't know how special she is anymore

That broken part that prays for the nightmares to stop

The side of me that knows what it's like to want to disappear

I am beginning to think the real me has lost touch with who I am

Maybe I don't know who the real me is anymore

That negative part of me has me so twisted and torn

My empty shell is more hollow than you or anyone else will ever know

The years of suppressing my feeling and fears has stole my voice

I have your negativity to thank for that

You make me feel like I'm not worthy of love and respect anymore

The darkness is starting to take over me

Trying to feel something, anything

I just want to feel warm again

My soul is aching to know what it feels like to be whole again

Please just leave me alone, take these voices with you

Leave me alone and let me go back to me

The me that loves without hesitation

That girl who doesn't know what it feels like to jump at shadows

The version of me that knows how to function

I just want to be free.............


Comments

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on January 29, 2019:

Most expressive and emotional write. Letting go of our emotions is always a great help.

Mary (author) from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet. on January 29, 2019:

Thank you @John Hansen.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on January 29, 2019:

Mary, I don't know what to say here other than writing your feelings down is cathartic. When things get me down or I feel angry or upset the best form of therapy is to put pen to paper. Whether I end up scrunching it up and tossing it in the bin or publishing it here at HubPages doesn't matter, it always makes me feel better. We are often our own worse critics but often put on a smile and brave face for others even though we struggle with the turmoil inside. You are a good writer and you voiced this very well.