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We Regret to Inform You: A Letter from Management (Response to Brenda Arledge Prompt)

I’ve enjoyed writing for many years. I'm dedicating more time to the craft in my retirement days.

Dear Ma’am/Sir:

We regret to inform you

You have not been selected

Or phrased differently, I guess

You have just been rejected

But we might regret using

Such strong, forceful language

So this note is the jelly

On a big old shit sandwich

Do we really regret it?

You probably want to ask

Are our true motivations

Hidden behind some dark mask?

We regret to inform you

That that truth must stay hidden

For us to talk about it

Is just strictly forbidden

‘Cuz we might regret saying

That hidden truth out loud, too

So we use misdirection

To lessen impact on you

Do you think our regret’s real

Can you click on the link please?

To give to us some feedback

And win a free Tastee Freez!

We regret to inform you

There’s no real nice way to say

You’re not really up to par

We can’t hire you, no way!

But if we said it as such

As if we had no regret

The deleterious ends

Might be the very worst yet

So let’s not speak of regrets

Let’s not converse on remorse

Let’s move past the shit sandwich

And on to a second course

Or opinion as they say

When you go and see a doc

Another set of thoughts on

What is making your world rock

So here in addition, then

I regret to inform you

You’re not only rejected

You are quite homely, too


The Management

Regret by New Order

© 2021 greg cain

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