Skip to main content

Volunteer Barbie Takes a Personal Day

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.

Today was a new day in the wonderful world of plastic

Mattel unveiled a new doll supposed to demonstrate

Saint-like qualities that many aspire to and only few possess

The model for a helper who gave everything for free

Within reason of course, but that could be misinterpreted

Very easily by cynical individuals who wanted to corrupt

Something so virtuous by making it seem so sleazy

Turned a symbol of caring into a vision of helpless servitude

A vision that everyone with a Mac truck could run over

Repeatedly until they got what they came for

With a little something extra in return for services rendered

A couple of Benjamin Franklins folded up on the nightstand

Along with a carton of Altoids to just sweeten the pot

Barbie thought she was getting another inch closer

To her dream house on the beaches of Malibu

Instead she was just a port in this hustler's vagabond lifestyle

Gone by dawn and with little certainty of a return visit

Fed up with getting little satisfaction in being so solicitous

And getting only a handshake and a smile in return

With a few extra insults added for good measure

Sacrificed too much to be so blatantly disrespected

And metaphorically defecated on by the "superior" ones

Bucking for more than just sainthood after death arrived

Time to burn that faded out candy striper uniform

No need for an updated replacement

Won't be needing to wear it anymore

Not returning to the drudgery of helping others

Who take advantage of the overly kind

For their own selfish and negligent benefits

Wiped the Florence Nightingale composite sketch

From memory and eradicated it off the hard drive as well

Destroyed it with enough napalm to decimate a city block

No chance of recovering even tiniest fragment

Not with the NSA's biggest think tank to resurrect it

Officially time to say goodbye to this rendering of Barbie

So long. Farewell. Sayonara.

Going back to the drawing board for real.

Back to basics is the best way to go.

Time to destroy all traces of this uniform.

Time to destroy all traces of this uniform.

Related Articles