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Did I?

Did I let everybody treat me this way
Or do they just take advantage of what I lay?
Did I allow everything to happen
Or do they just add to my burden?
I feel cramps, shakes and numbness
I know I am treated less
I am just too kind hearted, I think
But it makes me die inside, I sink
I sit in the most comfortable chair
I pull each strand in the hair
To understand why everything is like this
Why life lacks bliss.

It aches my heart and ruins my mind
I can't seem to know what I need to bind
I got everything figured out before, it seemed
Now, I have nothing to think about, all dimmed
I stand still to see where I'm at
To find if I've got the feet on flat
But I guess I am floating and screaming
Asking for help while shouting
I thought I don't have to feel this again
This irrespectful and worthless pain
When you thought nothing can go wrong
Well, it isn't perfect as a song.

Did I let everyone see me this way
Or do they just enjoy the things I say?
Do I matter in this mysterious world
Or should I disappear in plain bold?
What made me reach this distance?
What made me be invinsible at a glance?
Why am I seen as a loser
When I buy my own trouser?
Why am I feeling this heartache
When I save what at stake?
No one will hear the times I cry
No one will see the tears I dry.

© 2018 Rhea Leejah

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