Verses From a Troubled Mind

Updated on November 15, 2019
Jodah profile image

John is a freelance writer, ghostwriter, storyteller, and poet. He always tries to include a message or social commentary in his writing

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay | Source

A Much Needed Introduction

It has taken me quite some thought as to how to adequately introduce these two poems. They are not the usual light-hearted pieces that I usually write to inspire, entertain, or promote some message I feel is important.

In fact, I have to admit, they are downright dark and depressing in content. That said, they do touch on topics like domestic violence and mental health that are not widely discussed, but that many people may be able to relate to. I think they do both have positive endings.

Most of my recent writing has centred on the Poems From the Porch series and poetry I have written for other people. I just needed to do something a bit different before I publish the next in that series. These two poems were, in fact, also written at the request of other people, but outside the HubPages community.

Analyse Me! eventuated from a friend jokingly telling me that her life has been so eventful she should write a book about it. I said I thought I could do it in a poem, so she dared me to, not believing it possible. I don't think she'd mind me saying that she was 'blown away" with the result. It was originally intended to be kept private but she felt it may be helpful to someone else in a similar situation so gave me permission to publish it (with a little censoring.)

Our Mind is a Battlefield is the result of someone else asking if I could write a poem on based on the subject "Our Mind, our Own Worst Enemy" and in the style of Charles Bukowski. If anyone is familiar with Bukowski you will know his style is not exactly easy to duplicate. That is if he even has a style, his poetry is very much freestyle verse. Anyway, I researched his life and read a lot of his poems, and this is what I came up with.


Image by Prettysleepy2 from Pixabay
Image by Prettysleepy2 from Pixabay | Source

Analyse This! (If I Could Change My Life)

Tell me Mr Psycho man,

Analyse my fucking life.

Tell me what has caused this,

All my pain and strife?


You blame it on my childhood,

You’ve really no idea.

It’s just your “go to” reason,

Your thinking’s all too clear.


Your analysis is from the books

By psycho’s Freud and Jung

Whose troubled childhoods tainted this,

That song’s already sung.


At school I was a terror,

That’s something I admit.

I couldn’t help the things I did,

I’m an ADHD kid.


I shoved a girl through a glass door,

She really was a bitch.

I’d do the same now with the chance,

I never give an inch.


My family were supportive,

They gave me all they could.

Never once was I abused,

But no one understood.


I found a guy who turned me on,

Too young to figure why.

Maybe the bad guys do attract,

But to find the good I tried.


I admit I also had my faults,

And sometimes provoked his ire.

We often fought like cat and dog,

Our relationship had fire.


But as is quite often the case

His head was warped by drugs.

It turned him from a rugged male

Into a cowardly thug.


I crushed his Adam’s apple once,

He stabbed me with a knife.

The relationship came crashing down

When he almost took my life.


They locked him up for dealing drugs,

Not what he did to me.

He still admits no fault at all,

And now the creep is free.


My mother was my closest friend,

Her death ripped me apart.

It doesn’t matter where I go,

I take her in my heart.


My father grieves in his own way,

A man of so few words.

He carries on as best he can

Just sifting gold from turds.


My sister’s husband’s full of shit,

That’s why I have their kid.

I care for her just like my own,

From this job I never hid.


I care for people, that’s my job,

I get no thanks or praise.

Except from my clients themselves,

Their smiles just make my days.


Some days I hate the cards I’m dealt,

This life I’d like to snuff,

But those I care about win out.

I fight it ‘cause I’m tough.


“I Love You” aren’t words I use,

They lead to too much grief.

For those you really care about,

Death steals them like a thief.


I know my life’s important

To those who really know,

But my scars remind me constantly

Of the pain I can’t outgrow.


There are some people out there,

Like the one who wrote this verse,

Who sees me as a shining star

In their small universe.


So tell me, tell me, Mr Shrink

What do you suggest I do,

Spend time with the ones who care,

Or give my cash to you?

Image by Andrew Martin from Pixabay
Image by Andrew Martin from Pixabay | Source

Our Mind is a Battlefield

our mind is a battlefield: it attacks us and make us doubt ourselves

it belittles us and tells us we're inferior

and others can see our insecurity

feeling in turn superior

while we just feel worthless

and broken

sorrowful

hoping that someone may praise us and lift us up

but it doesn't happen


at home our family expect too much from us

admonishing us with scoldings and beatings

but we take it all

never begging for mercy

just seeking understanding

quietly

maybe one day they'll see the turmoil and confusion

that we go through daily

or maybe they'll never really understand


it's really up to us and us alone

no one else can help defeat this enemy

that masquerades as our mind

our conscious

guilty or not

take control, pull out the big guns

and blast the shit out of it

make it hoist the white flag

in surrender

Questions & Answers

    © 2019 John Hansen

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      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        2 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        They sure did stretch me, Chris. It was worth it though. Thanks for reading.

      • cam8510 profile image

        Chris Mills 

        2 weeks ago from Kettering, Ohio through January, 2020

        These poems stretched you, John. I'm glad you wrote them. The depth of meaning and emotion is impressive.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        3 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thanks for reading, Denise. Yes, hers is quite a powerful story and she is a strong woman to have been through all she has and be where she is.

      • PAINTDRIPS profile image

        Denise McGill 

        3 weeks ago from Fresno CA

        Wow, Analyse Me really struck a chord with me. We have no say over the hand we are dealt and some are just heroes for getting through a day of it.

        Blessings,

        Denise

      • nikkikhan10 profile image

        Nikki Khan 

        3 weeks ago from London

        Always my pleasure John, so well deserved, you are.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        3 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you, Nikki. I am very honoured.

      • nikkikhan10 profile image

        Nikki Khan 

        3 weeks ago from London

        John have shared it as best excerpt of this week, on my website.

        www.nikkikhan.net

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        3 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you for your insightful comment on each of these poems, Nithya.

      • Vellur profile image

        Nithya Venkat 

        3 weeks ago from Dubai

        The first one portrays the struggle of an individual in life, a powerful piece with emotions running riot. The second one is all about the mind that can wreak havoc if we do not take control. Both excellent!

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        3 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        It is funny how easy the words just flowed when I was writing that poem, Brenda. I hardly had to stop and think. It just needed to be written.

      • Brenda Arledge profile image

        BRENDA ARLEDGE 

        3 weeks ago from Washington Court House

        I really love "Analyse This". It flows so naturally and tells a vivid story that one can relate too.

        This stanza is so often true....

        "I Love You” aren’t words I use,

        They lead to too much grief.

        For those you really care about,

        Death steals them like a thief."

        And then the ending, "Spend time with the ones who care,

        Or give my cash to you?"

        Exactly how some people feel and want to say when facing this ordeal.

        Great writings.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Good to see you Linda, and I appreciate your generous comment. I know you are one who has been through a lot of adversity in life so you know only too well the power that words can have and writing it all down on paper/computer whatever. The person I wrote the first poem for is so impressed by the release this has given her that she is trying to think of other instances in her life that need writing about. Thank you for your well wishes.

      • Minnetonka Twin profile image

        Linda Rogers 

        4 weeks ago from Minnesota

        Incredible poetry John. What a cool thing to write these poems for people in your life. Doesn't matter it's about struggle as it is a gift to them and educates on topics we don't always talk about. Pain, and mental health issues are a part of so many lives and to read about can educate and comfort. I know I get so much healing and comfort writing dark poetry aka the hardships I'm going through. Thanks much for sharing and all the best to your friends, that may find some peace in the storms.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Lori, I wish your friend well and pray her life improves. I love that quote "Don't go down that road or you'll get mugged." It's funny how you can get so emotionally involved with the pain of others (not suffering it yourself) and be inspired to write about it as though you went through it. Many of the best writers in history have been inspired by their pain or torment.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Peggy, thank you for your kind comment. Yes, I am close friends with these people, and I am sure that shows in the poetry. When you have an emotional bond of some sort it seems to be reflected in the power or depth of the words. The first one tells me that just seeing her life written down as a poem has helped give her a different perspective.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you Ruby, I always appreciate your kind words and glad you loved these poems. I started the Poems From the Porch series to actually see if I could write poetry about any subject and so far I have been able to. If I receive a request that I can't do I will freely admit it. These two poems had that little extra 'something" however.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you for reading this Mr Happy. Yes, I agree with you in that what each of us classes as "dark" depends on what we have been through in life personally. We should never take life for granted and just be happy to wake up each morning. Cheers.

      • lambservant profile image

        Lori Colbo 

        4 weeks ago from Pacific Northwest

        I think the best writing comes from pain. It teaches and grows us. I can see you put your heart and soul into these.

        As far as the battlefield of the mind, I have a friend who is in recovery. She has had some terrible terrible things happen to her in the last four or five years. One day she was venting with her sponsor. Her sponsor wisely and hilariously gave her this advice: Don't go down that road or you'll get mugged. I keep that one close by.

      • Peggy W profile image

        Peggy Woods 

        4 weeks ago from Houston, Texas

        Your creativity was unleashed in these two atypical (for you) poems. You are obviously good friends to both of these people who asked you to write these powerful poems. I hope that both of them find peace and love in this world. They are lucky to have you for support.

      • always exploring profile image

        Ruby Jean Richert 

        4 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

        This is amazingly different for you, but it's realistic. I know people who feel misunderstood and just want to give up at times. Like I've always believed, you have the gift to write about any subject, and you are the best! Loved them all, especially the first one.

      • Mr. Happy profile image

        Mr. Happy 

        4 weeks ago from Toronto, Canada

        "He still admits no fault at all,

        And now the creep is free." - I like your play with words here. I was at a fairly fast-paced reading and the flow of words is really nice and smooth.

        In the 12th stanza I like the way You rhymed "apart" with "heart".

        “I Love You” aren’t words I use,

        They lead to too much grief.

        For those you really care about,

        Death steals them like a thief." - Yup. I do agree with this. Been to more funerals than I care to count lol

        Alrighty, that was fun. Sorry, I got to run out to the grocery store but I did not find this terribly dark. I live between ghettos. Life is hard out here. I give thanks when I wake-up just for making it another day.

        I do find that if we realize that Death is always just next to us, ready to touch us at any moment, we might appreciate Life a little more and do some things differently. We're never guaranteed to see tomorrow. Some may say this is morbid talk but I just find it realistic talk, haha!!

        Anyway, You have a good weekend - all the very best!

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Oh Ann, your comment blows me away. To think I was reluctant to publish that first poem but so glad I did now. It seems so many people can relate to it in some way. Cheers.

      • annart profile image

        Ann Carr 

        4 weeks ago from SW England

        These poems are amazing, John! You've excelled yourself, especially with the first one. The angst, the determination and the damage come starkly through. Love the last line!

        You have gone beyond your usual style and it's worked really well; a well-crafted and stunning hub.

        Ann

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Hi Kamkar, thank you for reading and commenting. The first poem is very special and i think inspirational that you can overcome adversity.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you, Shawindi. I am glad you enjoyed these poems.

      • Kamkar sanjukta profile image

        Kamkar Sanjukta 

        4 weeks ago from India

        The first poem has just touched me deeply. Hurdles, family, love, responsibilities and to go in with life.

      • Shawindi Silva profile image

        Shawindi Silva 

        4 weeks ago from Sri lanka

        Great !!!!

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you! Thank you! Flourish, much appreciated.

      • FlourishAnyway profile image

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 weeks ago from USA

        You are truly taking it to the next level with these. Applause, applause!

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Audrey, thank you for reading these poems and i am glad you can appreciate them and can especially relate to the second “Our Mind is a Battlefield.” Your practice of being in the moment and not worrying about outcomes or the future I am sure will have positive results.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Firstly, Shauna, thank you for the courage to share your experiences here, but even more so being strong enough to overcome them and become the person you are. The situation with your son must be particularly difficult to deal with. I can certainly see how you can relate to the first poem especially. What i hoped by sharing it was that it would be read by people who had been through similar experiences so they would know they weren’t alone. You are awesome, don’t ever forget that.

      • vocalcoach profile image

        Audrey Hunt 

        4 weeks ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Life's reality leaps within the words you've chosen for these poems that so many of us can appreciate, John. I know, speaking for myself, that my mind is indeed a battlefield and as you've said, "it's really up to us to defeat the enemy."

        One exercise that helps me is to practice being in the moment. It's a huge challenge for me because my mind is all over the place and I'm a sensitive little puppy. But learning how to "just be" does bring me supreme peace.

        Thanks, John

      • bravewarrior profile image

        Shauna L Bowling 

        4 weeks ago from Central Florida

        John, these are two powerful poems, to which I can relate for different reasons.

        In the first I relate to the violent tendencies of someone who is ADHD. My 27 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in grade school. He saw a psychiatrist, was on medication (actually guinea-pigged to see what would work), saw a behavioral specialist (he was also diagnosed with conduct disorder. Most ADHD kids have a secondary disorder) and to this day has a volatile temper. I can't tell you how may holes are in my walls, doors, and my heart. I'm chastised constantly and usually blind-sided when it happens. I actually called the cops twice on my son before he was 15 years old because of his ADHD-induced violence to my home.

        Life's a bitch, but I love him and try to keep the peace. At my age I wonder when the hell it will stop. When the hell will I be able to enjoy my twilight years. It's amazing that I can still work effectively at my job. Well, not really. I'm appreciated there. Not to say my son doesn't appreciate me, but when he goes into his rages, it's all because of me. Because of how I raised him (alone, with no child support from his father). Nevermind the fact that I was hands-on with his school and doctors. Nevermind the fact that I've supported him emotionally and financially (to this day), not only after I divorced his father, but after he died when my son was only fifteen.

        But none of that matters when he wants to blame life on someone other than himself.

        The second poem I don't really relate to. I've been thru hell. Not only with what I exposed above, but I've been raped three times in my life. The first was a gang rape by boys I went to high school with. I wasn't worth their time while in school because I was smart. But once I moved out right after graduation, all of a sudden I was game. And not a nice game. The second was a date rape. I'd gone out with a guy who was schizophrenic, but didn't know it. I don't even want to go into that one. It was terrifying, The third one was someone who broke into my home while I was sleeping. I woke to a body on top of me, a washcloth over my face, a knife to my throat and the words "don't move or I'll kill you". I didn't know what the hell to do. When he was done with me, he walked me into my bedroom closet, locked the door, and put a chair up under the doorknob to keep me in. He then left. I'm highly claustrophobic and it was a very small closet. My phobia gave me strength and I busted my way out of the closet. I grabbed a pair of jeans that I hadn't worn in a long time and a quarter dropped out of the pocket, which was a godsend because I discovered that my Seiko watch and all my cash had also been stolen by the son of a bitch. I scampered out of the house, got in my car, found the nearest pay phone, and headed to my boyfriend's house. Obviously, this was before cell phones.

        I was never able to step foot back in that house again. What's worse, is the cops thought they knew who raped me because there was another rape not far from my cottage. But because I didn't see his face, although I will NEVER forget that voice, no charges were made.

        Given all that, I've overcome. I smile. I laugh. I make others laugh. I still look at life through rose-colored glasses. I refuse to let life get me down. I choose to celebrate me.

        I'm pretty awesome. So are the people for whom you wrote these poems. Let them know that.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Alicia, I appreciate that comment so much. That poem was very special to the person involved and I am glad they asked me to share it.

      • AliciaC profile image

        Linda Crampton 

        4 weeks ago from British Columbia, Canada

        I was especially impressed by the first poem. It takes us right into the person's life, the problems that they've experienced and are experiencing, and their love for certain people. It's a powerful poem, John.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Ps, you are right, and I certainly took my mind to another place to experience and write these words. Thank you for reading.

      • pstraubie48 profile image

        Patricia Scott 

        4 weeks ago from North Central Florida

        Sometimes to express the intensity of a situation or feeling it is necessary to go to another place. These poems are decidedly words that express how some from my past have felt. Thank you for sharing these with us. Angels are headed your way this afternoon. ps

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Yes, Clive, but which one? Cheers.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        What a wonderful comment, Shannon. I am glad you found these poems thought provoking but offering hope.thank you.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        MsDora, your comments always confirm that what I write is worthwhile and can make a difference in someone’s life. If it helps just one it is a success. Because of the subject matter I felt these poems needed positive endings.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank Charley. I knew you’d be able to relate, if anyone. Yes, I much prefer Carl Rogers too. Robert Ellis just escapes my memory for now.

      • clivewilliams profile image

        Clive Williams 

        4 weeks ago from Jamaica

        thats one messed up mind.

      • shanmarie profile image

        Shannon Henry 

        4 weeks ago from Texas

        Your intro gives warning to darker subject matter this time, but poetry like that can still stop a person in their tracks. It's so visceral. But the fact that it does elicit so much emotion speaks volumes about your talent.Thought-provoking, too. I love that they both end on a hopeful note, though, because I feel like there are often glimmers of hope even in the darkest despair. You've once again lived up to the expectations of your requests.

        Now I should go continue my venture back through the porch seriees. No doubt those answers to requests are just as admirable.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 

        4 weeks ago from The Caribbean

        Dark subject matter, yes, but presented in excellent poetry. After so many negative details in the first one, you end on the positive note that somebody cares. Beautiful!

        In the second one, you make it known that despite the destructive vibes in the mind, we are responsible for controlling it; not allowing it to control us. Empowering!

        Your poetry teaches life even from deathly circumstances. Thanks!

      • drylen profile image

        Charlie Halliday 

        4 weeks ago from Scotland

        Great work John. As you know I can relate to the subject of a troubled mind. Like your comment on Freud and Jung. I am more a Carl Rogers and Albert Ellis type of guy

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Paula it is always a pleasure to receive a comment from you.we do experience a wide range or realties during our lifetime but often try not to dwell on the less appealing aspects. I feel we need to face them and write about them too. Thank you for your confirmation. I am glad you enjoyed them.

      • fpherj48 profile image

        Paula 

        4 weeks ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

        Bravo, Jodah! Two quite profound, emotionally-charged poems. Human nature realities, so many of us experience throughout a lifetime. I love them both as they spoke the truth and moved me to contemplation.

        I believe your friends must be so pleased and grateful at the results of their suggestions. These poems may be a slight change from your usual style but certainly just as masterful.

        You never, ever disappoint, my Aussie friend. Peace, Paula

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you for your input into these poems, manatita. Glad you liked the first one specially,Blessings.

      • manatita44 profile image

        manatita44 

        4 weeks ago from london

        Scary woman! Still, nothing wrong with the first poem. In fact it's brilliant! You should read mines on Despair. let's just say I'm good at images, even on the dark side.

        Now Guruji teaches that despair helps us and again I always say that adversity is the candle of the Divine.

        You seem to have described most of us in the second poem and again, it's not bad at all. Expectations are a killer but not easy to let go. two great pieces, but the first reads exceptionally well and tells a good story

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Hi Liz, thank you for saying that. I appreciate that kind of comment.

      • Eurofile profile image

        Liz Westwood 

        4 weeks ago from UK

        Deep and thought provoking poetry, which touches on current and relevant topics. These are well-written, challenging and evocative.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Than you for the positive comment, Nikki. Yes, she has been through a lot but is a fighter. A lot of people have mental issues and we don’t even know it. Have a great weekend.

      • nikkikhan10 profile image

        Nikki Khan 

        4 weeks ago from London

        Good job Jodah. We really need to address dark aspects of our lives too. I really feel sorry for her. Drug-addicts not only ruin themselves, but also risk their families to get buried deep into the dark well.

        There are many people who are indeed, have some kind of mental issue but are scared to mention it, to others.

        We should consider helping those too.

        Carry on good work.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        I am glad you could relate Bill. Haha yes I must admit I feel better now. You have a great weekend too.

      • billybuc profile image

        Bill Holland 

        4 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

        I am intimately familiar with the darkness of life, so these two poems were right up my alley...and well-done...and thought-provoking. And now that you got that out of your system, have a great weekend!

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Yes, Devika, exactly. Direct without sugar coating things.

      • DDE profile image

        Devika Primić 

        4 weeks ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

        Sometimes one needs to say whats on their minds. In a positive way and a negative way a direct way of releasing thoughts from one to another.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Eric, as always I appreciate your comment. You always bring more value to my work through your replies. Yes, I agree we need to share the ugly stuff as well, not just the pretty.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Tiyasha, what a wonderful comment. I am blown away with how much you can connect to these poems. Poetry does have a way of bridging gaps even between cultures. Glad you liked my dig at Freud and Jung too. Much appreciated.

      • Ericdierker profile image

        Eric Dierker 

        4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

        Maybe to someone who has never experienced such stuff it is dark. I get that. But it seems to me like cancer patients. Sharing our dark stuff helps us feel like we are not alone and lonliness seems our greatest killer. ( the S word )

        Now on the style of writing -- way cool. I really liked both. I read them twice, the second for style. You are a great teacher by example. Muchas Gracias from 4 miles from our 'Border Wall'.

      • Cattaleya profile image

        Tiyasha Maitra 

        4 weeks ago from New Delhi

        I was glued to both and could relate so much to both of them.

        There are so many individual experiences that make us so very different from one another. And from that arises the inability to be understood. But there are many like me who can connect with you and each other through these poems.

        The complexity of the mind is so perfectly explained in so few simple words, it was mind-blowing.

        And I love the humorous take at the clichéd Freud Jung reference by shrinks.

        Great job John. You truly are a versatile author.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Haha thanks Eric. Maybe that’s all I need to write in future..a catchy title.

      • Ericdierker profile image

        Eric Dierker 

        4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

        Have not read it yet. But the title is worthy alone.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Lorna, your comment is greatly valued coming from someone involved in this actual field with on the ground experience. I am so glad you were successful in preventing that 14 year old from committing suicide. Thank you.

      • Lorna Lamon profile image

        Lorna Lamon 

        4 weeks ago

        Two very psychologically balanced poems with a real sense of the stark reality of what many people live with. I think it's good to step out of your comfort zone John and these poems are a reflection of doing just that. It also serves to remind us that life is not always a bed of roses and mental health is a very real issue. Just yesterday I was part of a team trying to stop a 14 yr old committing suicide, thankfully he didn't but the look on his face I will carry with me for a long time. I was very impressed by both poems John.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Pamela, I always appreciate your well thought out comments, and your support whatever a I write. Yes, the first poem was sad in a number of ways. Much appreciated.

      • Pamela99 profile image

        Pamela Oglesby 

        4 weeks ago from Sunny Florida

        These poems were certainly a change of pace. I really think both poems are very good. I think you probably did justice to the requests of these two people.

        I thought the first poem was kind of sad, yet I understand sometimes getting treated better while working than at home.

        As to the battle of the mind, I do not go there. I remember having some doubts when I was young, but that time is long gone.

        You never fail to entertain John.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Sally, it is great to get a comment from you. I am glad that the title was out there enough to draw you in. It isn’t my normal poetry fare but sometimes we need to write outside our comfort zone and visit the darker side to say things that need to be said.

      • sallybea profile image

        Sally Gulbrandsen 

        4 weeks ago from Norfolk

        The title drew me in and I was not disappointed. The words speak to me as I am sure it will to others. You sure took the bull by the horns, did not mince words but told it simply as it is. Well done John, a great piece of writing.

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